New to the boards :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2005
New to the boards :)
7
Wed, 05-11-2005 - 12:57pm
Hello Everyone
I'm new just thought I'd say hello before I start asking for advice..lol ;) A little about myself I'm 27 have a son who will be 5 in August. Been married and divorced about 4 years ago. If you have any questions about me please ask...though the answers are probably not that exciting...lol
Have a great day!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Wed, 05-11-2005 - 1:44pm

Welcome!! We would love to have you post with us!! There is a great group of women here - better than any other board!! We post all kinds of things.

Tell us more about you and your ds - what do you do? How is your dating life?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2005
Wed, 05-11-2005 - 2:21pm
Thanks for the warm welcome :)
Well My son's name is Triston he starts Kindergarten this year! He is a total sweetie! About my dating life...well I've been out on a few dates since the divorce tried dating someone seriously, but I wanted to try he didn't. Then about a month a go I realized I was still in love with my ex husband...ha thats a laugh...but unfortunately very true. But it does explain the failure of all my past attempts at romance. He was very enthusiastic about trying again, and then he came out for a very brief visit (in san diego at the moment) things were very awkward...now he's not sure he can be "in love" with me even though he loves me very much...sorry but I don't know what that means either...we have been best friends since the divorce...so I don't know...lol I'm sure that was a lot more then you were looking for...lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2005
Wed, 05-11-2005 - 2:27pm
I forgot to tell you what I do!...lol well I work at a small company where I am the office/production manager. I also go to school full time for a degree in accounting. So I'm pretty busy...sorry about the rant by the way...I'm just all worked up about the conversation with the ex as it just happend last night :(
Stef
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Wed, 05-11-2005 - 2:45pm

I think it is hard to date or move forward in any relationship when you are attached to someone. That is hard for you that you still love your ex but he is confused.

Do you think it would help you to minimize contact with him? Only speak when it is absolutely necessary and only about your son?

This will give you a break and give him time to sort out his feelings. But at the very least I think he needs a big chill - it would be good for both of you.

Why did you guys get a divorce, if you don't mind me asking? Maybe if we hear more of the terms we can think of good ideas for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2005
Wed, 05-11-2005 - 3:03pm

Well he has been in Italy for about 5 months, Called once or twice a week to talk to our son, and I only talked to him to give him the basic update stuff...infact I didn't even have a number to contact him. He aslo had been dating this woman for about 9 months so he was involved. She informed him she couldn't be faithful while he was away and left him, pretty sure he dated a few girls while in Italy too. One night he called late and we started chatting...then he started calling more regularly...to talk to both of us. Thing is he was sooo excited about our getting back together and then I truly think he had a panic attakc once we saw each other and it was weird... so I told him that we should cool it until he moved back...june 8th approx....and then just take it as it comes he was putting to much pressure on it to be something ang I wasn't helping ...yes I did catch that...lol

No I don't mind telling you about why we divorced :)
We had our son right after we got married...like 9 months...lol and my parents did not approve of him they just didn't like him...there was dissowning involved my being disowned...and no they had no reason my mother I'm sure would make all of your moms look like saints she special lets leave it at that. Well I can honestly say I was a nightmare after Triston was born I was hrmonally wrong...and with the constant influence of a very diapproving family I thought I was doing the best thing by ending it... Even though I still loved him very much I couldn't deal...during this all important decision time he was away for about six months...we did have rough times but most stemmed from my family...which he doesn't know this but I would walk away from them for him in a heart beat if we tried again...but we are pulling back so I'm not sure if he needs to know that

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Wed, 05-11-2005 - 4:32pm

That is a lot of drama for sure. I agree with you about pulling away from your family.

I think your head is on strong and things are in your favor if he is moving back. Take it slow, give him time see what happens.

I agree that the point that you would leave your family is best left said for when the time is right. And I know you will know that!!

Good luck and stay here and keep us posted!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2005
Wed, 05-11-2005 - 4:39pm
Thanks for the support :) I will stick around thanks for having me :) and listening...well reading and replying..lol
Stef