New to Dating Scene Again and ??

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2006
New to Dating Scene Again and ??
20
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 5:23pm

I'm back into the dating world again after 10 years of marriage and remembering all the strange feelings of wondering where you stand, etc.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 5:46pm

There are a couple of women on here that will warn you about boyfriends and their "gal pals". Sweetkymom just ended a relationship with a guy that was too into his "gal pal".

I think it's time for a frank discussion about where this relationship is going and what it means.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 5:57pm

Welcome.

Been there, done that, except she lived in the same town as he did. I finally broke up with the guy because the only time he did anything fun was with his galpal, and I use that term loosely. He spoke to her daily also. Whenever she wanted to do something, he would practically run over me to do it. Took her calls when we did go out, which was rare. He wanted us to be the three amigos, I think. I was with him a year and a half. Took me too long to break it off. I don't know how he would have reacted if I had a male friend. I almost made one up, just to see. He said that they have been friends for 10 years, that was why. Well I have friends for that long and longer and I don't talk to them daily, or push him aside to do things with them. I think it is weird, I also think there are more feelings between them, than they will admit.

I would advise you to slow down. This seems to be a part of his life that is separate from you, and I am sorry, but I don't trust it. JMHO.

Good luck with this. Him not talking to you is totally childish. The red flags are flying for a reason, listen to your intuition, I did and didn't, I sure learned a lesson.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 6:11pm
Have you met this friend? I would think that it's possible to have a great friend of the opp. sex who isn't a romantic involvement, but in that case, he would be comfortable having the 3 of you hang out together, he would be telling her that you are his GF and having her see you together. if you have never met her & she's his best friend, then I would be really wary, because if you have good friends, after a point, don't you want them to meet your SO to see what they think & also just to get to know him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2006
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 6:19pm

I, Like sweetkymom, had a relationship w/ a man who had a best girlfriend too.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 6:34pm

Most of my friends are/were women.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 6:49pm
Google "emotionally unavailable men" or "comittment phobic men" and see what you come up with. They give some really informative checklists for spotting them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 6:53pm

Yeah but Mark, you wouldn't interupt your time with your best girl to talk to your gal pals.

I think the issue that these girls are having is that the guy doesn't have clear boundaries with these other women.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2009
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 7:10pm

I've been "the female friend" in too many of these situations to count.

Faith is not blind; it's visionary


Lee

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2006
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 7:26pm

Thanks for all the comments everyone!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2006
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 7:29pm

I completely agree that men and women can be friends, but it is about how they act.


One of my best guy friends actually was a former FWB.

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