New here, and ? on dating

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
New here, and ? on dating
6
Thu, 10-12-2006 - 3:49pm

Hello - I'm new here - I used to check out iVillage when it first came online, but haven't been back in a while. Looks like a nice bunch of gals & some guys here.

I'm 32, have a 4 y/o DS, and been separate for over 8 months now. Altho I was married to DS's father for 7 yrs (together 9), we'd been in marriage counselling twice in 2 years. Thus, when it was nearly constant arguing, and started to become physical from him, I felt I'd given it a honest go, and left. I am primary custodian for our son, and he sees Daddy regularly, and talks to him 1-2x/day.

I only started even looking around at what the "market" is like in late July/Aug. I've been off the market for over 11 years (DS's father plus a previous long-term relationship). Thanks to the counselling I feel I know how I contributed to my marriage failing, and how I shorted myself while in it. I am happier (other than $ issues) than I've been in almost 8 yrs.

How can I go about meeting guys? Between being a mom, and having interests "outside the norm" such as SciFi, Role-Playing Games/D&D, motorcycles, and such, as well as current events, poker & pool, guys are all fired up until I try to engage their brains, rather than their macho-ism (riding up on a Harley does wonders for the intro, but I talk about things other than engine displacements). Then they seem to glaze over LOL. That is, if hearing I have a kid doesn't scare them off. I don't intend to introduce any man I might be romantic with to my son until I feel certain it's going somewhere (I have mostly guy friends, but they're mostly single themselves, and have been, so they aren't much good for introducing).

I've recently met a nice GA gentleman (he's a mature 25), who while hesitant about there being a child, hasn't said no way, and inquires about activities I mention doing with or involving my son. I'm looking, but it feels like may be worth exploring my GA Gent.

TYIA

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2004
Thu, 10-12-2006 - 10:53pm
Well..lots of ppl are against online dating services..but I joined one and I met an amazing guy on there, hes 28, wodowed father of 3, and he is an awesome dad! :D SO..not all guys on the internet sites are creeps! IF you want the link let me know ;)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 10-13-2006 - 11:29am

Hello and welcome,

You sound comfortable in your own skin and have a set of fun and great interests. I think you should just keep being you and wait til the right one recognizes what a catch you are!!

Keep us posted about the GA gent. Sometimes it is a red flag when they aren't sure about the kids so you might want to hold your heart back a little until you confirm this.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Fri, 10-13-2006 - 10:49pm

I know some peeps that have done the internet thing, w/ varying degrees of success - I would like the link that worked for you.

Thanks for the welcome!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Fri, 10-13-2006 - 11:02pm

Thanks for the advice. I am hesitant to read too much into his interest. At least, he's had the maturity to realize this, early on. I had a GF years ago that did a LOT of dating, and never broached it until a while into the relationship - and then a guy of several months would go "NO thanks" and bug out.

While I don't intend to intro any likely romantic partner to my son til I know it's a pretty sure thing (several months), I also don't see the point of investing that much time & effort into something that then blows up in .5 seconds when my child is mentioned LOL. But I also acknowledge that not everyone wants insto-family - I was like that, when I first got w/ my ex-fiance (the 2yr relationship) - it took a little while for me to accept that he had a child, and where I might fit into that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2004
Fri, 10-13-2006 - 11:45pm

Heres the link www.plentyoffish.com

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 4:51pm

On Line Dating has really worked well for me.

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