New here - could use advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
New here - could use advice
7
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 8:03pm

Hi to all the single Moms!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 9:25pm

Hi Lisa,

Welcome to our board and thanks for sharing our story.

To answer your question - since you are intimate you should ask about his intentions to be exclusive - to some it is assumed and to others it is not. You should find out how he feels to make sure you are both on the same page.

It sounds like he will reassure you.

Keep us posted!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 10:29pm

Hi Lisa, and welcome!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 11:06pm

Someone once said to me, "if you're old enough to be having sex, you're old enough to talk about it".


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Sun, 01-06-2008 - 4:23pm

Just a quick update - I did finally ask - lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Sun, 01-06-2008 - 6:33pm

No, being gun shy about letting yourself be vulnerable is probably the norm on this board. After a marriage that went south, particularly if one was married to a guy who was verbally/emotionally/or physically abusive, it is expected that you'd be cautious once you are ready for dating again. Heck, some people write off dating ever again after a bad marriage.

Go for it, but just give yourself the luxury of taking it slow. If you've been reading the other posts on this board for any length of time you'll know there are those of us who take it REALLY slow. My BF and I have been together, exclusively, for a year and a half. We don't involve our kids much with one another- just holiday dinners or big parties, otherwise our relationship is conducted during the time neither of us has kids. Since you've clarified that he also wants an exclusive situation, try to relax and let things develop naturally. Odds are, he is just as hesitant to get all serious and intense after his marriage ended the way that it did. Everyone is different in how long it takes to get past the past relationship and be open to someone new, just try to be open with your guy if you start to feel smothered.

And don't forget to still nurture the part of you that is a single, independent person. M and I share a lot of interests but we still maintain our separate interests. We still have time with friends without one another.

QueenBun

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 11:35am

Lisa,

I am glad you talked to him and that he helped you and reassured you - keep us posted, okay?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Wed, 01-09-2008 - 1:00pm