New Here- good lord- starting over agian

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
New Here- good lord- starting over agian
4
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 5:13pm
hi all- I have been separated for 1 year and the divorce will finalzed in Jan 25!!!( both of us had no money to file) . I have 2 children(5 and 4) and the ex-h is great with them. He left me - for that I am grateful! I was married for 8 years, with him for 10. I honestly was happy and excepted who he was. found a bunch of gross crap on the computer- I mean GROSS- we think he might bi-sexual. We met when we're both pretty young, blah blah blah. Anyway- I would never have walked out on my marriage- but now that I get the opportunty to pick again- it's been great! guess since I kow that I have what it takes to work through a marriage (I was the one going through all the counseling, reading, talking) what have you. I do now I want a life parnter and be remarried again someday. I'm 29- so I do have time, I dont want to be the divorce' that never remarries again and afraid ofivorce. Nah- I'm working on myself, I know what I want.

Ok- after ex-h flaked out, took money, lied about is whereabouts and then was shown the door:) I was in graduate school full time and at -home mom. ex-h had just moved us for the 2nd time in 2 years(great guy, but a liar and not stable) so I made it through the end of the semester (barely) in an apt with the kiddles. At the the end I realized thatI was going nowhere FAST! I needed to get back to work and forget about being a special ed teaher (the government doesn't give grants once yo've gotten your bachelors)

I've been a graphic designerin the past on doing it freelance during school. So I ended p relocating to Millwaukee and - yes- living with my father god bless him. That was June- it's now oct- I'm working part time ,going-to-be-funl-time- soon graphic design job abd teaching an advertising design class at a university. Saving money, getting there. lost 70 lbs !!!!

Feeling embarresed about living with family when I'm almost 30:( THning when I go full time and 2000 or so in bank will be it for me.

Now about dating....

when H left I went nuts- he hadn't touched me for 6 months-erectile dysfuntion- or so I thought... dated a nice guy but crazy- 20 years my senior- yikes. not good judgeent. He never met the kids. Saw him for alomot 4-5 months

he jumped off a bridge- don't ask... not good:)

I slowed down after that and met my man through singleparentsmeet.com It is one of the best thing I could've done.

He and I began emailing in April- met in May/June. And on the second date I thought "this could be the one"

we're am in that sickning-ly sweet phase- of "you're so cute, no youu are" I love it. He has 2 litle nes, ours played together several times. I'm starting to get attached tohis little ones- I've told him " I'm starting to love yout kids so don't f*** it up:)" We've both said that we know we'll work out, talked about marriage- when and wheere (vegas baby) we're thinking next fallish? There are no guarantees, but I 'm betting we'll be fine:)

Ok- I get to brag now... he's wonderfuL:!! kind, smart, playful, adventurous, loving, romatinc, big, strapping (and I mean freaking BUILT- was a football player in highschool/college- yay me! His ex-wife is an idiot!)6'4', could be Vin Deisel's brother. sa,e haircut and all. ANd a fantastic lover!!!

Of course reality comes int play:) I can be demanding, he can be non-communicative. But we're doing pretty well.

wish me luck. I would love for this to work out...

jo

(scm)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 6:59pm
Your new man sounds good to me - I wish you all the best. And welcome to our board!!
Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 7:51pm
Welcome to the board! It sounds like you found a guy who makes your toes curl. Good for you. Sounds like you also have a really good idea of where you want to be in life. Keep on working towards your goals. I look forward to hearing more from you.

Tara

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 10:24am
Welcome to the board Jo. How old are your kids and his? Sounds like your happy and in love. That's terrific.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 11:37am
Hey Jo!!! I'm fairly new to this board myself, so I almost feel inept to say WELCOME! But what the hell....WELCOME TO THE BOARD!!!!

Sounds like you have a really good situation now and I wish you all the luck w/ur man and finding urself a home of your own.

Stick around...would love to hear more!

Hugs,

Shelley