New here - looking for some advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2006
New here - looking for some advice
7
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 5:48am

Hi Everyone,

I am a single mother of 2 great kids aged 8 and 6. I have been thinking about getting back into the dating scene again but I have no idea where to start.

Where do you meet prospective dates? I have no idea where to even start, I don't go to night clubs or bars, so that is out. I have been out of the dating game for about 15 years so am a bit rusty on this topic.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks
Jo

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 9:37am

Hi galpinkpoodle,

Welcome to our board.

Certainly the dating scene has changed - not only from your younger years where everyone was single but also in today's environment as well.

Some people here have had good results by going online. I think the best way is to just find ways to get out more on a social basis. Working out, hobbies, church, taking classes and lessons, etc. Start putting yourself out there and meeting new friends. Eventually you will find and meet people that have the same interests and that is always a good thing.

We hope you stay and participate - you will learn a lot about dating and relationships here.

Glad to have you - hope the others will chime in too.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 1:51pm

Bars and nightclubs are not good places to meet men, so it's okay if you stay away from those. I suggest getting out with other singles, even if it's other single women....like a single's group. When I was "looking", I started meeting a single's group for dinners once a month. It was a free thing. I just had to pay for my own dinner. It was fun and not dating oriented.

Bookstores are good places. You can hang out in one with a cup coffee. I've heard of more than one couple meeting that way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 9:54pm

Hi Jo,


Welcome!


It's good to be wanting to date again, but where to start?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Wed, 06-07-2006 - 11:34pm

I met my x-bf on yahoo personals (1 1/2 year relationship) and my fiance on match.com (love of my life).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2006
Sun, 06-11-2006 - 2:40am

Thanks to everyone who has replied.

I have tried meeting guys online, but am yet to find one, who isn't after just a bit of cyber sex or just sex with nothing else. So will keep looking for Mr Right.

Who knows, I might just bump into him one day. Until then I guess I will leave it in the hands of the Universe to take care of.

Any more ideas will still be appreciated.

Thanks
Jo

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sun, 06-11-2006 - 1:13pm

"I have tried meeting guys online, but am yet to find one, who isn't after just a bit of cyber sex or just sex with nothing else."


Ah yes, that old game.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Tue, 06-13-2006 - 10:11am


I have heard both good and bad things about online dating... I myself have experienced both good and bad... But then again, I have experienced good and bad dates in all avenues of meeting men (through friends, bars, clubs, hobbies, college, etc)... So IMHO I believe it's all in the presentation and using the best judgement you can...

I was getting ready to bail on dating for awhile (plus my profile on match was getting ready to expire) when my now bf wrote me this e-mail. After reading his e-mail something told me to give him a chance... and because his letter seemed more genuine and real than a lot of the previous letters I had received...

I think what helped was that I had decided to rewrite my profile just the week before stating in it that I was looking for more than a physical relationship... That weeded out a LOT of unwanted attention almost instantly! I made sure to choose photos that showed me in natural stages and not ones where I was dressed extra sexy... which was another thing that helped when I was looking through other profiles...

More advice if you choose to go the online route... Meet for coffee the first time and somewhere away from where you usually hang out... If they are not keen on doing that or try to pressure you to go dancing or go to their house on the first meeting... RED FLAG. Also make sure you have a really clear picture of what they look like... Dark pictures where it's hard to make out what they look like is another RED FLAG... Just like going on singleparents.com and guys there don't have children or don't want children... another RED FLAG (they think single moms are more desperate and easier preys)...

Hope this helps!

Pooldiva