New here--my first date (from H*ll)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2007
New here--my first date (from H*ll)
2
Tue, 07-10-2007 - 7:05am

Hi Everyone,

I'm new to the board. I've been D for 6 months, but it took 2 years to get to that point. Now I figure it's time to move forward. So I asked out a D former neighbor who had expressed interest in going out over a year ago while going thru my D. I had no attraction, but he's a nice guy so I thought I'd give it a try....maybe date a 'nice' guy for a change and see what happens.

My date calls a few days before the 'big date' to confirm. We decide on dinner at this cute little town about 30 minutes away. So we're thinking about where we want to eat, he says the name of a restaurant then quickly says, "Oh but that place is expensive." So I think we settle on another place but then he says "let's meet in front of Starbucks, then we can see what else is around, check out menus."

I'm still trying to keep a positive attitude. So we meet, he's five minutes late. We walk around for at least 20 minutes looking at menus. It's really humid, I'm wearing black, I'm hungry. I finally tell him about a place I've been to and we walk over there.

There's a 20 minute wait. So he puts his name down and we walk around for another 10 minutes. Well he walks, I'm jogging to keep up with him. We get back and wait at the crowded bar. There's no place to sit so my date sits at a table....not a bar table, a table, table. I tell him that, he doesn't care. Says he'll sit there until the party arrives. I do not sit, I stand by the bar. Sure enough the party arrives about two seconds later. He says, "I guess you were right." Now he keeps pestering the hostess about when our table will be ready. I'm thinking, 'Buddy, if you did a simple Internet search you would have seen all the restaurants plus the menus and we'd be eating now!'

We sit, I ask if he wants to get a bottle of wine. No, he says, and he orders a beer. I get a glass of wine...I could use the whole bottle, plus some vodka.

The best part: the bill comes!!! He makes no move for it. So I make no move for it. Then I finally say, "What's my part?" So he says, "How do you want to do this?" I said, "Split it." Then he says, "15% 0r 20%?" I said, "20%!!!" The service was great, the food was great, buddy, we're not in McDonald's! So we both owe $43, I only have $40 in my wallet and I put the 2 twenties on the table and tell him that all I have and I owe him three. So he takes my cash and puts the meal on his credit card. So he's earning miles or points on the meal I paid for!!!! And I have not one dollar left in my wallet.

So he walks me to my car, I said he didn't need to, but he insisted. As if he's getting anything. We get to my car he says something about what a nice time he had, choking back the vomit I mumble a 'yeah' Then he goes to give me a kiss goodnight and I make sure it's on the cheek. I guess that wasn't what he had in mind so he says again what a great time he had, then then pulls me in and gives me a kiss on the lips (ICK!) and gives me a hug, I pull away faster than you can say, "cheap date, never again." Hop into my car and get outta there!

I get that I asked him out, but come on....am I wrong here? Isn't just a little wining and dining nice? Have I been out of the loop for such a long time that this doesn't exsist? Where's the wooing? The winning me over?

Thanks for letting me vent. I'm going to join a nunery later today.
R

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 07-10-2007 - 11:06am

I'm sorry, I'm laughing on your account, but it just sounds like about a hundred different bad dates I've had in my life. And their definitely were no seconds. I don't necessarily need a guy to take me to a 4 star, nor do I even need him to get me a bottle of wine or, if I am not really into him; do I want him to pay it all. HOWEVER, I do expect a little effort, a little time planned and to clarify the splitting of the bill BEFORE we go out. I think that is the least that a guy can do that seems so INTO me. GEESH!

If he asks you out again, just say, "No, I am sorry, but I really didn't enjoy our first one." Let him know it was a bad date. Period. Don't try to hide it or he may never learn from his mistakes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 07-10-2007 - 12:41pm
Sorry you had to go through that. It is a bad date. A lot of us are having luck with the online dating sites. So, with a little work and luck there will be very good ones yet to come. We are glad to have you here with us - hopefully you will participate in our threads and stick around a while!