New here need advice

Avatar for camilionag
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2003
New here need advice
Wed, 06-30-2010 - 9:41am

Hello Ladies,

I have been lurking for a few days and now I'm ready to introduce myself. You all seem very wise and I hope to gain some wisdom from you. I am 30 years old with a 10 year old son. His dad and I have a very friendly relationship and I don't have any drama in that area. Recently I was dating a guy for 2 years and I called it quits after realizing he was a pathological liar. I went out of town and meet a great guy from NY. I live in Texas.

I do not have a lot of experience in relationships and I really like this new guy. He is 35, never been married and no kids. He has worked very hard to become successful and now he is ready to settle down and meet Mrs Right. He is visiting me this weekend and I feel clueless. Do I let out all my feelings and tell him how much I like him or play it cool? Do i speak openly about my past experiences or let him lead the conversations.

My last relationship was very toxic and I don't want to repeat my actions that lead to being with a jerk.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2010
Wed, 06-30-2010 - 4:26pm

Welcome. The board has been pretty quiet lately so it may take some time for responses.

A long distance relationship, with you in TX and he in NY will be a challenge. So think about that before getting too head over heeels for this guy. As for the date, try to relax and be yourself. Really, it's the best thing. It's best NOT to do all the talking, just let things happen, if it clicks you both will feel more comfortable as you get to know one another better.

Did you meet IRL or through OLD? If this is the first meet face to face, don't put too much emphasis on chemistry. It's usually a good idea to give at least 2 dates to decide if there's going to be a spark. sometimes you're both too nervous that first date to really tell.

Good luck and keep posting.


Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 06-30-2010 - 7:49pm

I am the wrong person to talk about dating for I have scared more than my share of women away.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2009
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 9:04pm
I think one big thing is to decide for yourself what your limitations are. Would you move? Would he move to you? If the answer is NO to both of these, just keep it casual. LDR take a lot of work and I think the important thing is being sure everyone is on the same page. Enjoy the visit...

My girl

My girl