New Here...Hi Ladies..

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2006
New Here...Hi Ladies..
8
Mon, 03-06-2006 - 3:05pm
Hello everyone... I've been lurking on a couple of these boards but just today found this one, and I have to say that FINALLY I can talk to people who are in exactly the same shoes I am! I guess to get to know me a little better I can give you all a bit of background on me..I am a single mother of 2 girls, (14 and 4)and have been divorced twice. The last one was a doozy and I'm STILL fighting him in court. I've been divorced for 2 years, and dating has been difficult and frustrating to say at best. I've been on yahoo, match, even e-harmony...I've met some really good guys, and met some really *winners*, but nothing psychotic. I'm tired of the dating game, and have just jumped OFF the bandwagon throwing all internet dating to the wind...HOWEVER, with that said, I currently have 2 men poss 3 in my life at this point. I'm at the point of tossing all three out the window, and just giving up. I don't know about you ladies, but I'm at the point where I want a steady relationship. I don't want to get married, but do want someone special in my life. Yes, my life is hectic, and the girls keep me going, but I am very lonely. I know that sounds strange, but has anyone ever felt that way? Alone in a room (or houseful) of people?
Well, I could go on and on.. but just needed to vent, and plan on hanging around for a bit.. if ya'll don't mind...
Thanks
Lisa

boston.png Boston Girl image by EmmaLee192

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Mon, 03-06-2006 - 4:05pm
Welcome! The women here are awesome! I know they've helped me, and it helps just to know they are in a lot of the same situations I am in.
As far as being alone in a room or house full of people, I do know what you mean. Sometimes I think that feeling that way is as much a part of me as bieng a mother. Other times, I can't wait to actually BE alone!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2006
Mon, 03-06-2006 - 4:12pm

Thank you, Yes, I can understand about that as well.. There are times that I wish that I WAS alone..;) Well, i've read a bunch of old posts, and can relate to just about all of them...been through alot, and feel comfortable knowing that others are going or have gone through the same crap I have..

I guess between PMS and just being plain old grumpy, I'm venting and feeling very bad for myself. Just one of those days that I wish I never got out of bed.. ya know?

boston.png Boston Girl image by EmmaLee192

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 03-06-2006 - 9:40pm

WELCOME! Yes - we do all know how you feel. Sorry to hear about your recent troubles - that is tough on you for sure.

I think you just have to make sure you put yourself first - make yourself so fulfilled and happy you don't need a man or anyone to make you happy. One of the hardest things in life, especially after such a loss as a divorce, is to make yourself happy. It is okay to be sad and alone sometimes - that is part of the healing process. But you have to pick yourself up, too. Treat yourself special and good - culture a good network of friends who make you feel good, too.

Stick around - we would love to hear more from you and have you participate in our posts.

HUGS!! I hope the others will post more here too.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2006
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 8:42am

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! :) I plan on sticking around.

Lisa

boston.png Boston Girl image by EmmaLee192

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2006
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 12:58pm

I have a friend in a similiar situation as you. I tell her one, enjoy being just you without a man, Take up a hobby or activity that you like or are interested in. Be okay with being alone. Be okay with going out with your girlfriends or just by yourself. In essence make peace with yourself. I truly believe when you do all that you attract the right kind of man. I said I would never get married again but my bf makes me rethink that statement. Once I rid myself of the emotional baggage I was free to be available for the right person. And even if he hadn't come along, I would be enjoying my life and be happy doing the things I love.

On a side note, I know a few people on match.com. This inclides my ex and all of them have emotional issues and some I would say are bi-polar (this definitely applies to my ex) I would never do internet dating but that's just me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2006
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 1:16pm

I am happy being me, most of the time, but I'm sorry, I'm just one of those people who wants a man in her life to ADD to it, not to fill it. I would be kidding myself and everyone on here if I said "hell no, I don't need no man!" I don't need one, but I do want one. I feel there is a difference. I can fill my time with hobbies, exercising, but at the end of the day, I want my significant other there to be there for me, and I for him.
And yea, as far as internet dating goes, I've been down that route too.. My last husband was from Match.com, and he has some serious woman haters issues. Not to mention the extreme manipulation and compulsive lying that goes on. I'll stop there because I don't want to turn this into a bashing e-mail..

I have been on Match.com, Yahoo, E-harmony, American Singles.. etc.. they are all the same.. I've gotten so frustrated with the sites that I've pulled my profile off completely (i was on yahoo). However, out of all of the sites, I do have to say that YAHOO was the most NORMAL one that I was on. I met some really nice men on there, but you have to be SELECTIVE! There is a process that I go through when meeting these guys..It weeds them out....so far it works like 80% of the time.
Anyway...babble on I go!
Thanks for everyones support!

boston.png Boston Girl image by EmmaLee192

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 4:48pm
What is your process for weeding out the bad ones? Do share! We all love to hear what others are doing!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2006
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 5:19pm

I think things will work out fine for you. You have the right attitude. It's when you not looking for it that it happens.

Glad to see you know the difference. You would be amazed at how many women who don't.