new to the whole dating again thing

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2004
new to the whole dating again thing
3
Fri, 09-24-2004 - 5:20pm
i am a single mother of 3 ~ been divorced for about 3 years. since the divorce i have been in a couple of relationships, both of which were people i knew either before the marriage or whatever (bottom line is ~ they both knew about my entire past). recently i met someone who i absolutely adore BUT he knows nothing of my history, nothing of my kids, i think he suspects the marriage part and may have overheard the kids part... but has not mentioned anything. i know that he likes me, he told me this already, but i need some advice/input. i don't want him involved with my kids at all, which is why i have not mentioned them to him, BUT i don't want him to feel like i lied by not telling him. so i know, tell him. but what are typical responses from that? i mean, most men that i have met, the first thing i tell them is that i have kids, and it never seems to bother them. i guess i am just nervous because this one i really do like.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Fri, 09-24-2004 - 9:01pm
You have to tell him you have kids. When I meet a guy who wants to date me, almost the first thing out of my mouth is.......I'm a single mom, but I don't introduce my son to my dates. If the guy is okay with that, then great. If not, I can't dwell on it.

The fact is: We are single mothers. Some guys will date us, some won't. But, who cares? We have great kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Fri, 09-24-2004 - 9:02pm
Tell him right away about the kids. You don't want to seem like you're hiding them, and you are a package deal anyway. Also tell him that you don't want the kids involved this early on. Every guy I ever went out with was absolutely fine with that, and with the fact that I have kids to begin with. If your guy is not ok with either of those, then he's not worthy of your attention. If he really likes you like he's told you, he'll be fine with the fact that you have kids, and will respect your decision about their involvement or non-involvement.

Good luck.

Galina

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sat, 09-25-2004 - 1:52pm
Hi there and welcome to our fabulous board.

I agree with the others and that you should definitely tell him you have kids. But do present that in a positive fashion. They are a wonderful asset and he is getting more for the price of one!!

But don't introduce them too soon. Go slow, enjoy!!