Newbie here...is there room for 1 more?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Newbie here...is there room for 1 more?
41
Sat, 12-29-2007 - 4:25pm

Hi! I'm a member of another board on ivillage, and only today discovered this board. I got excited about it LOL and would love to join everyone!


I will try to condense my situation and introduce myself in short form... I'm Jacey, 29, single mom to 3 kids (5yr old boy, 3 yr old girl, 1-1/2 yr old girl) I was previously married, my husband died almost a year and half ago. I re-entered the dating world a few months back and my BF is 31, rcmp member, has 1 son from previous marriage, been divorced 2 yrs. He hasn't met my kids, I haven't met his son, we're just dating and seeing where things go. His job makes it challenging at the moment lol


Look forward to getting to know everyone!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 2:16pm

Well this afternoon its -17C brrrrr LOL I'm packing my kids up, dropping 2 of them off at school, then heading to West Ed Mall for some shopping with my youngest.


That's exactly how I felt. I felt like I needed to show everyone I was fine with the kids on my own, that I wasn't going to snap and do crazy stuff and that I could be strong and prove it to them. I was worried there would be insistence on specialists, outside help etc and I'd have to admit I'd gone crazy or something. Now almost a year & half later.... that worry has turned into a "when/how do I tell everyone I'm dating again?" which is nerve wracking.... I really don't think my MIL will accept the news nicely. I almost feel like its OK for everyone else to move on and get on with life.... except me. Like there's this "socially acceptable" amount of time to wait and be the blubbering greiving widow before I can allow another man in my life. UGH more stuff to worry/think about lol

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 3:17pm

Well, IMHO, the socially acceptable amount of time is how long YOU wanted to wait before venturing out there.


I can only imagine how your MIL will take the news.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 3:20pm
I agree with Moon and think that you should keep your dating as private as you can for as long as possible. I believe that your MIL could only have her sorry and personal interests at heart - which is understandable - but you have to put that and your children's first. Does she help you with the kids?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 3:43pm

Of course you never know about the MIL... I was scared to death to tell mine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 4:14pm

I think one year is the so-called standard period of mourning for widows.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Thu, 01-10-2008 - 6:15pm
I would love to play it off that its just a friend, but I know they'd never buy that (they being MIL and this one BIL) and reason being is the woman said BIL is engaged to is an ex best friend of mine, who made it her business to gossip and put ideas in MIL's head *sigh* but THAT is an entirely different, and HUGELY LONG story right there lol I know MIL suspects I'm dating. I just haven't (and don't plan to for awhile) confirm it. Unless she out right asks me, I won't deny it in that case. Its all just so complicated when it shouldn't have to be. But oh well!

 

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Sat, 01-12-2008 - 11:35pm

Sorry it took me so long to post my welcome, but WELCOME aboard!


What a beautiful family you have! I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the pain. I'm also happy that you seemed to have found a good man who sounds like he has his head on his shoulder!


WE are a very tight

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Sat, 01-12-2008 - 11:38pm
Welcome Angie! Hope you delurk more often!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Sun, 01-13-2008 - 11:59am
Yes, in fact I do really think deep down this is what she'd prefer. In fact, she's made no secret about how I should move back East, to be closer to DH's side of the family (and basically move myself & kids across the entire country away from my own family). She also likes to tell me about a "friend" she has who lost her husband and then proceeded to date and shack up 2 years later and how inappropriate that was and how they were after her money and how disprespectful to her dead husband she was being etc etc. She has a way of subtly (and subtle like a bull in a china shop) letting me know I should stay single and not move on. I think deep down she is scared a new man will mean a new life and that might mean the in laws slowly get squeezed out of our lives even tho I've told her and reassured her constantly that will never be the case etc. So yea, I definitely will not be volunteering the info that I'm dating again and seeing someone. UGH For that case, its lucky fo rme they live on the east coast and can't just drop by to be nosy LOL I know she would LOL
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Sun, 01-13-2008 - 12:06pm
Thank you Cat! I love visiting the board daily, coffee in hand LOL So homey here
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