I agree that he may be over-stepping some boundries here, in the discipline of YOUR children. Sure, if you are in a committed relationship & he is spending a lot of time, just as I would with a close freinds child, I would feel ok to "reprimand" their child, even if they werent my own, for an obvious behavior or direct insut to me - BUT .... he needs to follow YOUR lead.
I had some more thoughts for you. Do you think that your teenage daughter has been blowing up more with him around? I wonder if the whole thing went too fast for her - and if him bringing negative changes to her life brought that about?
I wonder too if you might explain exactly what role he should fill point blank so he understands he cannot overstep his bounds? And if he can take the time to figure out the dynamics of a single mom/parent household? Because the dynamics operate much more differently than a functional household where you have 2 adults functioning as a team to run the house and raise the kids!
I was thinking about that this morning. My DS and I are more like a tag team for running this house. I am stretched as others are most definitely stretched to work, pay the bills, clean and maintain our living quarters, shop for all things, run DS around (and I only have one kid compared to your three!!!), worry about DS's school stuff, and try to have a shabby someone resemblance of a social life. We don't always eat together because I like to eat early while working at my computer and he likes to run around outside with friends til they go in - he is playing football and being a kid so I don't complain - I allow that. He has to get up early to help clean the house as he did this morning. His opinion is valued much more. And I can spoil him with rewards because I have no one telling me different.
Whereas your BF only has the memory of parenting that was done by a 2 parent household in a time where a child's self esteem and behavioral development was unheard of. That is so different - it is like another planet.
I bet your teen has helped a lot with her siblings and somehow her world is turned upside down by someone who marches in and puts his expectations and demands on her and she is getting less of your time - which is not so bad in itself - you do deserve to have some adult time and romance - it is just that she is going to voice her opinion and feelings.
I also think that you were in a state where you really needed him and his affection and wanted to draw him in at all cost instead of shopping and dating for one who is really into you and who can accommodate you more. I think we have all done that and it is surely something any of us would have done given your circumstances. It is just something to be aware of. I think your goal to have a good relationship with a man who loves you and adds to your life and makes it easier is more important that the person you are with. Sure, it could be him. But if it is not then out he goes and you keep looking til you find it!
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How do YOU react to her when she's being "insolent and mouthy"?
I had some more thoughts for you. Do you think that your teenage daughter has been blowing up more with him around? I wonder if the whole thing went too fast for her - and if him bringing negative changes to her life brought that about?
I wonder too if you might explain exactly what role he should fill point blank so he understands he cannot overstep his bounds? And if he can take the time to figure out the dynamics of a single mom/parent household? Because the dynamics operate much more differently than a functional household where you have 2 adults functioning as a team to run the house and raise the kids!
I was thinking about that this morning. My DS and I are more like a tag team for running this house. I am stretched as others are most definitely stretched to work, pay the bills, clean and maintain our living quarters, shop for all things, run DS around (and I only have one kid compared to your three!!!), worry about DS's school stuff, and try to have a shabby someone resemblance of a social life. We don't always eat together because I like to eat early while working at my computer and he likes to run around outside with friends til they go in - he is playing football and being a kid so I don't complain - I allow that. He has to get up early to help clean the house as he did this morning. His opinion is valued much more. And I can spoil him with rewards because I have no one telling me different.
Whereas your BF only has the memory of parenting that was done by a 2 parent household in a time where a child's self esteem and behavioral development was unheard of. That is so different - it is like another planet.
I bet your teen has helped a lot with her siblings and somehow her world is turned upside down by someone who marches in and puts his expectations and demands on her and she is getting less of your time - which is not so bad in itself - you do deserve to have some adult time and romance - it is just that she is going to voice her opinion and feelings.
I also think that you were in a state where you really needed him and his affection and wanted to draw him in at all cost instead of shopping and dating for one who is really into you and who can accommodate you more. I think we have all done that and it is surely something any of us would have done given your circumstances. It is just something to be aware of. I think your goal to have a good relationship with a man who loves you and adds to your life and makes it easier is more important that the person you are with. Sure, it could be him. But if it is not then out he goes and you keep looking til you find it!
Time will tell you!!
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