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| Wed, 12-26-2007 - 12:46am |
Well girls, I have to say it again.
After a very difficult week, I had to call it quits for MA. A bunch of yellow flags turned out to be too many red flags for me. I can try to sum it up - I am tired and tired from all of it.
First of all, I feel he is very desperate for a wife and has been way too pushy with the amount of time he wants to spend and with that topic in general. Although he is 45 and never married, he desperately wants to be married. And I feel he has said I love you way too soon. He also gave me gifts he had been saving for a future wife and it just flipped me out. They were not personalized for me at all.
IN addition to this he has some real communication issues. I think he has the dating part down pat. But he is unable to empathize or listen to someone else and interact with them. Plus he does a lot of socially inept things. I don't think he wants to come across as an insensitive jerk but he does. I feel he was also very selfish about wanting me to do favors for him when I am busy and had cooked a lot. It just felt like one big intrusion.
It is sad because we are two quality people who have a high school history. And with this in mind I really tried my very best to communicate with him but felt like the tree in the forest that falls and no one hears her.
DS just left and so I am going to focus on cleaning the house and getting work done and getting better - I have a bit of a cold.

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Ah a techie! My DNA. My brothers and father are engineers and me too. I find as a group we tend to be more introverted, more "logical" and not so open with our emotions.
Have fun and good luck!
Mark
--
May your soul be at rest.
May your heart remain open.
May you realize your own true nature.
May you be healed.
May you be a source of healing for the world. - a zen prayer
I was wondering about you the other day! Hadn't seen you here much AND NOW WE KNOW WHY! :)
He sounds great, Cat! Enjoy the moments.
AMEN!!!!!
That is a great perspective Mark.
I really think after pondering this more that I am going to take a better look at communication the next time around. I can think of one or two other relationships that did not work because the other person is too selfish and cannot listen or respond to the most basic of a request. I tent to be soft spoken and quiet and I know I need to not be afraid and be more assertive in the future sooner and more as I go along.
My sister was just texting to see if I am okay and I am like yes - I am way over this and not mad or upset.
I think that each person who comes into our lives teaches us something.
Hi cl_west, I am just so shocked to read this. I didnt plan to write anything here today as I just came back from vaccation, but thought I should offer my support on this one. From what you explain, it seems very logical to doubt that you WILL have many many difficult days if you continued with this guy. Guns- collection and he wants to train your son.. what on earth is he thinking. I would just run away after I see that kind of gun collection and not to mention if he offers to train my kid!!. It is simply incompatible life styles for me. My Biker has a gun which he inherited from his gradpa and he has never fired that or killed anything living creature with it. But still I have already told him that he ship it back or give it to his brother at the next available chance. He did not even argue about it and convinced me that he doesnt want to travel with it and when his brother drives down here he will send it back.. Anyway it is also not assembled and he never talks or thinks about it. SO Iam fine with it. I simply dont want a gun in my house.
MA also seems selfish about many things and I think he is pretty inconsiderate. He might have seen you as a good partner and wants to go fast with marriage but great that you Nexted him.
and what is with his gifts ewww.. I wont have had this much patience that you had.
Dont stop getting dressed up and keep your eyes open.
All these posts here about 40+ unmarried men does scare me.. But in my case my Biker is getting only sweeter. One difference is that he has been always shy and never really dated. But I do have my eyes open...
Hope New Year will bring exciting possibilities for you.
Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!
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