NEXT!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
NEXT!
35
Fri, 09-28-2007 - 11:06pm

OKay - I am now in the next boat.

We had our first real disagreement which ended up with the towel thrown in now.

Monday he had off from work and stayed around his house. Tuesday he is with his son to take him to the gym for 2 hours. Wednesday we are supposed to get together for dinner. He has been coming very late on Wednesday and so we had a talk and he said he would come earlier. He always gets off from work early. But seems to get very stuck at his house - I think on his computer.

Anyway, he left his house late AGAIN which is annoying to me. On a school night that is a pain for us to have to eat late and I am the type of person that likes to be on time or at least a little close.

Apparently he is out of sorts - he comes in and has to dry his clothes and fix all of his water bottles and other odd chores. But the big biggee was that he was dressed so sloppy I really didn't like that in front of my son. I guess that was a night he should have stayed home. So I decided to write him a note saying how all of this made me feel. That I want someone who wants to be early and be a part of our lives. Not coming late and busy with all of their chores.

Because I am a very busy single working mom and don't want another kid.

So, he ended it. And I am not sad. I had fun while it lasted. But this shows me that he does not have what it takes to get his life and act together and be around me and DS. That he only wants the fun.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
In reply to: cl_west1745
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 5:28pm

So what are you doing about it? Are you looking for a different woman, trying to find one who is secure and strong enough to complement and accept your intensity (and not have to change who you are), or are you trying to tone down

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: cl_west1745
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 6:42pm

Hmmm... when I find another woman I'll see how it goes... How's that for an answer?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: cl_west1745
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 7:33pm

As one who does date in your age group - that is the "over 45 crowd" - I can say it really is not easy. As we age, we gain baggage. And there are some real hard luck cases on the OLD sites with multiple divorces, jobs that keep them out of town all the time, weird interests that don't mesh with kids, people who have never been married OR had kids, and people with very bitter profiles - I think Mark's last list of prospects all had some kind of drama going on where they were not longterm candidates and that is what he wants.

The dating pool shrinks for all of us as we age. So, I don't think it odd to be "still looking" - I know of so many women near me who were single 5 years ago when I first started dating and they are still single. 2 of my friends have found boyfriends, but they are in college and their 20s (although they struggled too because all of the guys there age want to get really drunk and they don't want to be even close to monogamous never mind marry). All of the ones over 40 are still looking, including me. The girl I ran into on my facebook HS network, who I went to HS with, is still single after being divorced for more than 5 years.

But there is hope - I just remembered one friend who has been divorced for 18 years. Her exh cheated on her 5 times and then left her when her daughter was just 2. She dated off and on and had a lot of dry spells. But things are looking good for her - she just met a 50 year old widower and they are head over heels for each other. They are both triathletes and love to do all the same things and travel and eat at the same places. I know that she has worked harder than anyone I know at meeting people. She joined all kinds of groups and networked like CRAZY. Whenever she meets someone she gets their email and stays in touch and then tries to meet all of their friends. She met that widower through a triathlete club in her city and they used to ride together all the time while he was married - in a group - no hankie pankie and then when his wife died he started dating her a little while afterwards. And she could work a room like no tomorrow in a party. She is in the medical field and dated a lot of dud doctors so she really deserves that one.

I have another friend still who is 65. She has been single a long time since her divorce. I asked her if she met anyone - she had sent an email update to all of us saying she qualified for the Ironman Hawaii - she is good looking for her age and very fit - and she said she has married the ironman - meaning she is dedicating her life to that because it is much more fulfilling than her husband or any man she dated. I can remember she made a real effort at one time but said there really wasn't anyone her age who wanted her age - they all wanted much younger women.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
In reply to: cl_west1745
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 10:51pm

"You see, the thing is that I was so into my work that I had no life -we only had work in common. And I always did everything to push the relationship. And I never communicated my needs"


Sounds exactly like my first relationship. I never demanded ANYTHING from him and did everything I could to make sure his dreams career all are going fine. I spend many years with/for him..


In a way if I was with some one else I

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: cl_west1745
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 10:57pm
Please do brag - it gives us all hope. That is HUGE that he does stuff and you don't even find out til later. He is a wonderful person for that.

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