Next on NN....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
Next on NN....
17
Wed, 05-28-2008 - 9:15pm

I'm ok with it. Actually made a decision and went thru with it. I witnessed something the other day that, along with the smoking, that made me realize I was settling...again.

He was on the phone with his DS7 and told him that the he couldn't see him because his ex wouldn't let him. I make it a point not to talk against my ex to my kids and can't stand it when others do it. To make it worse, he got off the phone and told me that she would allow it but wanted NN to come pick up the kids instead of her dropping them off as she usually does. He said "It's the principle of the thing. I'm not changing our arrangement". I thought that was telling as to the fact that he rather stand on principle that see his kids and then didn't tell the story correctly to his son. Made his ex out to be the bad guy.

Then he tells me he's quitting smoking and yet had 8 cigarettes by 1:00pm on Monday. That's not quitting. He needs to quit for himself, I know but the smell was starting to bug me and it has been a deal breaker in the past for me. Why am I settling now? So I told him that I want to be friends and hang out but that I'm not ready to pursue it any further for now and he was fine with that.

I've been in contact with BG and have decided I'm just going to accept our "relationship" as it is. He's pulled himself off the dating sites and told me to check it out for myself if I want to. He told me that although circumstances make it difficult, he'd like to try to make it work. I told him to just be my friend so that I have no expectations. Believe it or not, I haven't been pining for him, waiting for him to call. I call him when I want to, he calls me when he wants to and we're just taking it one day at a time. I need to concentrate on me and my kids right now so maybe this is way it's supposed to be for now.

So that's my little update. I feel great today and hope it continues. I have to make it so.

Cat, who's taking it one day (and one man LOL) at a time....

Cat

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Thu, 05-29-2008 - 12:15pm

Good for you in remaining strong to your convictions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Thu, 05-29-2008 - 12:18pm

Hey Cat - good for you for recognizing the limits of any future relationship with NN. I agree....lying to his own child would be a HUGE dealbreaker for me.

Rosecolouredspecs
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Thu, 05-29-2008 - 12:22pm

"He was on the phone with his DS7 and told him that the he couldn't see him because his ex wouldn't let him. "


Ugh- what a great guy to put that onto a 7 yr old's shoulders!


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Thu, 05-29-2008 - 1:05pm

I like how things are working out for you, Cat.


Way to go on NEXTing NN for the way he is about his DS. That was a sign of stubboness over his son. Here I am talking over NEXTing someone, I giess I have no room to talk. But I congratulate you for being as awesome and personally insightful as you are. I wish the best to come from you and BG. I know you will not settle!


Hugs and well wishes :o)

~Pacific~
~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
Thu, 05-29-2008 - 1:33pm

I got an email from BG this morning.

Cat
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Thu, 05-29-2008 - 1:45pm

Yes thank goodness for this board!


What makes me smile, especially in the middle of my own dark clouds, is the

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
Thu, 05-29-2008 - 2:07pm
Woman Power!!!!
Cat

Pages