...the next question of the week

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
...the next question of the week
79
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 9:13am

Candi's question of the week has led me to one I have been dying to ask all of you.

-How do you measure the quality of your sex life? What do you define as good versus bad?
-If a man is selfish in bed do you think you would see this anywhere else in his life - in other words, is he selfish in other ways?

Maybe you have experiences you want to share - how you communicate to make it better - insight. I agree with all of you that sex is very important.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 2:46pm

I got that.


I'm not small...and size is definitely an issue for me...


Ok, now I'm totally embarrassed.


LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 2:51pm
LOL! Don't be embarrased... that is why I said earlier it's not about the size, it's about the fit.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 3:05pm

You two are hilarious!


And yes, firstamendment, I am with you. There's a good pain, and then there the kind where one thrust and you jump out of your skin which then startles your partner and you have to slow down and change positions a bit... LOL!!!


Now that I am pregnant, J does this to me on a regular basis. We have to be careful. Everything is MUCH more sensitive. He's paranoid.

Becky

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 3:17pm
ya know, actually it IS embarrassing. Because for all you hear guys brag about size, you don't hear a woman brag about her capacity in that sense. I guess it's made me feel odd.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 3:30pm
No, but I don't brag about my 'internal shortness' either. Is there anything we brag about? I mean, even women with great breasts don't go bragging about it and if that is all that get's noticed it's considered an insult. Maybe legs. I have heard women say they are proud of their legs. I am proud of my bicep but somehow I feel my sagging tummy cancels that out.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 3:47pm

I just don't think we as women feel the NEED to brag about our body parts, in general. There are always exceptions to that rule though. I do know a few women who make sure to point out that people think they're hot, but even THEN they don't usually point to specific body parts, you know?

Becky

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 3:54pm
True, but we do TALK about things like that. I've never heard anyone else say they want a guy who is bigger than average. Or that they have a bigger than average capacity.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 3:56pm
What is the deal with being 'hot' anyway? It's fine if you are going to be in a magazine, but for real life, does being 'hot' really get you anything? I seem to hear that term a lot lately, 'she's hot'. And there's the bigger question, why does it bother me that I am not 'hot'?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 4:21pm
What a great post! Hey Candi... I know what you mean about the pain thing. I think we all have some sort of pain thing. I am not in the total S&M thing, but I do like the light version of it. Firstamendent, I know what your talking about. I am small framed and very small hips and being bruised on the cervix is no fun, one experience and that did it for me. Never, ever again and I am not pain sensitive. I agree with Becky, change positions. If you can't do that, then get out! LOL
I don't mind the small guy, but I do mind the "Tell me how bad you want it baby, tell me how rock hard he is! Come on Baby, let me rock your world!" Please men, I don't mind sex talk, but don't start telling me your rock hard when darlin, I can hardly feel you! LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 8:27pm

What a great string, I'm laughing reading all the responses...

-How do you measure the quality of your sex life? What do you define as good versus bad?

I'm always partial to the guys who ensure that I'm taken care of, either before or after he's done. I have NEVER had a sex- only orgasm, always need that extra stimulation to finish, so I'd have to say the best partners I've had were those that were skilled in that department. The one I'm with now had never gone down on a woman, all his past gf's wouldn't let him- so I will just say, he's a quick learner ;) He's very attentive and very satisfying. We have a lot of fun together and really have the same sex drive, so that works for me. And we are very open and the communication is great, so I don't feel embarrased telling him what I want.

-If a man is selfish in bed do you think you would see this anywhere else in his life - in other words, is he selfish in other ways?

I agree with the other posters that a guy who is selfish in bed is selfish in most areas of his life.

Alison

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