...the next question of the week

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Registered: 05-25-2004
...the next question of the week
79
Wed, 01-26-2005 - 9:13am

Candi's question of the week has led me to one I have been dying to ask all of you.

-How do you measure the quality of your sex life? What do you define as good versus bad?
-If a man is selfish in bed do you think you would see this anywhere else in his life - in other words, is he selfish in other ways?

Maybe you have experiences you want to share - how you communicate to make it better - insight. I agree with all of you that sex is very important.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 01-28-2005 - 10:42am
Oh, I didn't think of that. So you can't have an orgasm the other way (clitoral stimulation)? I think my bf would think our sexlife was perfect if I could have an orgasm during. His first girlfriend was like you and he enjoyed he could make her orgasm that way. I think he feels let down that I can't. He also believes most women are like you and only a few are like me.

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Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 01-28-2005 - 10:45am

I almost always do, BUT it's only after some other kind of orgasm (oral, manual) when I am already still "flying" ;)


How does it work? Hmm...good question. I don't know. I just know that with my DH, it happens. It's a different kind of orgasm from manual or oral stimulation, but it's my favorite kind.

Becky

Becky

 

 

Avatar for cl_beckty
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Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 01-28-2005 - 10:50am

Ooooh, Candi! Very impressed with your 17. I'd get tired LONG before that. My highest is somewhere in the 9 to 10, and that's only because J (a couple of months ago) was DETERMINED to break the record. I got tired. I'd had ENOUGH! LOL


But those weren't all vaginal/intercourse orgasm's of course. Only maybe one or two. That poor guy can't hang on if we're having intercourse and he hears me go. It's usually all over then. ;)


OH, and I have to say, it's not about GSpot stimulation for me I don't think. I don't LIKE the positions that traditionally help you hit that. And I can't relax enough for them to do the trick usually. It's just realllllly deep penetration when I am already on the edge. And that slight pain factor. (as we've discussed, not majorly painful pain, but just very um...well, I guess hard thrusting. J just knows how to do it. ;)

Becky

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 01-28-2005 - 10:50am
Ok, this may be too much... but can I ask in what way it is different? If I have an orgasm with manual stimulation, it's like an explosion and afterwards I feel done. During sex, I have these ups and downs, where it feels really really awesome (like I'm headed for an orgasm) for a while and then that feeling ends (like an ending but with no explosion), then we keep going and it builds up again, then down again, then up again... and so on. Sometimes my bf asks if I did have one because I want to slow down for a while before it starts building again, but it's never that I had one, just that it stopped building, I guess. Does that make any sense?

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Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 01-28-2005 - 11:05am

I can get the build up and then down and then up and then down like that too, but ONLY if that's what I want to happen. Because if I let it go, it's going to peak out and I CANNOT be quiet or still about it, and then J can't hang in there. When I go over the edge, he's done.


It's less explosive, but more all over fantastic. My own body matches him and there's no stopping...and when it's done, I am DEFINITELY done. No more please. I want to just lay here and come down.


Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Fri, 01-28-2005 - 11:06am

oh I CAN, but it's so much more fun with someone else, too. I just like sex too much.


I've had O's...lots of different ways.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
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Registered: 04-08-2003
Fri, 01-28-2005 - 11:16am
I use a vibrator on my no sex days/weeks/months, because I have no choice. Otherwise, I'd go insane. But, it isn't fun all the time with something like that. It definitely isn't the same. That's why I like having my booty call. He does me good. I feel good and we have a terrific relationship. We really are friends with benefits. Matter of fact, Wednesday, we had great sex and afterwards he poured me a glass of wine, we were joking around, laughing our butts off and then we started talking business. He gave me some great tips about stuff and how to go about my move and now he will be doing my taxes for me this year, which saves me a few hundred. He has a great knack for money. So, not only did I get fantastic sex out of it, but I saved money and I had a laugh.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Fri, 01-28-2005 - 11:23am

Candi:

I have to jump in here -- so much as gone on since yesterday.

"I have been told, often, that I'm wired differently than most women. I like lots of direct stimulation and I almost never fail to have a few orgasms with sex only. I can keep having them till I drop, apparently."

Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing that. I'm not bragging either -- but I'm the same way. Although I think the most I've ever had was proably 10 to 12. There are times when I would feel like I was a freak or something -- like I wasn't like every other woman out there, and it kind of bothered me. I know I'm wired different than most women -- every man that I've been with since my exh has told me that. Although there have only been 4 men, they have all told me that they have never been with anyone like me.

As for the g-spot thing, that's my strength -- and yes, it's a totally different kind of orgasm. I think it can be difficult to achieve at first, (I never had one with my exh) but once you do, you can have one all the time. I have them now without even trying. Personally, I think they are the best, but that's just me. When he hits that little spot, I just go nuts, but it did take practice, and a skilled lover who knew where to touch.

I'm wondering how racy this can get before we get into trouble? I'm dying to ask another question, but don't want to get into trouble. Ok here goes. I'll try to be as delicate as possible. With g-spot orgasms, for those of us that can have them, for me there is always an added "bonus" (FE) - anyone else out there experience the same thing or know what I'm talking about without having to spell it out? Cuz I'd really like to know because it's so common for me and I really do feel like a freak some times and if anyone else out there was like that, it would make me feel a lot better. Again, with the men I've been with, they all say that they never been with anyone who could do that. So, I guess I'm just trying to figure out how wierd I really am.

Donna

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Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 01-28-2005 - 11:23am
I think that is what my bf feels... he had that with his first girlfriend (long long time ago) and I think with some others (although not anyone he had a lasting relationship with) and he misses that 'connection' or whatever the right word is. I certainly would orgasm that way if I could!

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Registered: 04-08-2003
Fri, 01-28-2005 - 11:26am
Hmmm, are we talking about what I think we are talking about. I assume (you might have to spell it out) you are saying that you can actually spout a waterfall, literally. I know a friend of mine can do this.

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