But I really don't think this one is going to get better in person because of the lying about the age thing and the changing the date in a negative manner with negative comments thing. That is all like a big wet cold blanket when you are not out of the start gate.
Sorry you had to be disappointed. Because I have been disappointed a lot so I know how that feels. I had a guy say he was 42 when he was 52 and he didn't tell me until the first date. What a way to start. I don't understand why he can't write his age and explain that he would love a family. There are plenty of single moms that would feel lucky with his comments.
I can see his point about BG - it is hot - and that is sort of a big commitment to have to pay that money and do the whole park when you have not met someone yet and don't like them. But then he has to go on to say how he hates to pay for dinner when there is no chemistry - UGH. Perhaps he got carried away with the moment with the BG thing? Coffee is always best for a quick meet and then you can do more after that. It is just that his delivery of the whole thing sort of stinks.
I don't know maybe I am just so tired right now - I had to ride and run today.
Practice is good. It is up to you - could go either way.
That would really bug me too and I'm sitting here trying to think what I would do in your situation. He at least did come out and tell you the truth before you met him and was honest about what his intentions were. I'm no expert on online dating, but I'm willing to bet that it gets tough at times with just trying to get past first impressions and without actually "meeting" someone. Maybe he's just had so many negative experiences himself he feels like he needs to stretch the truth a bit. Lame excuse, but who knows.
I think I'd try to make a go of it. What have you got to lose and maybe you'll have a good time and really like him or just chalk it up to experience and something to compare it to later.
I'm going on a date tomorrow night pretty much for that reason. I feel like I just need to go and get out there and give it a shot. Sometimes those wind up being the best dates. If it doesn't work out...oh well.
The only thing I can commend him for is that he does want a family and he lied for this reason and hopefully not just to get a much younger woman - and online dating is frustrating with the lack of responses and the rejection and the ghosting and unrealistic expectations and people's situations and baggage. I don't think you should scold him - because what will that do, really? It will make you feel better because you are frustrated that you were looking forward to this and he had to poop in the middle of the pie. But it won't teach him a lesson or change his feelings. It will just make something bad worse. I think you could mention that you were disappointed by this.
I think you should tell him what you want to do for your first date - and see what he says. I have always taken the "watch very carefully in the beginning" approach to see how receptive they are to what I say initially and how concerned they are for making it a good experience for me. Wanting to come to a place close to where I live where I feel comfortable is good - wanting me to meet them at a casino so they can have their weekly gambling night while they meet me is bad - see what I mean? If they turn it into an "all about me" correspondence then they are done. This is such a huge thing in my book and it is so simple and tells you so much right from the start. I do believe it is the common denominator for finding someone who is caring and capable of a relationship.
I have a feeling that him in person is going to frustrate you more. But dating is good and experience with people is good - so I think you should go. It will be interesting for all of us to see the story about what he did in the beginning and how he is in person. I feel like this is a class assignment here!! LOL!! It is up to you. Keep us posted, okay?
Well then, that is the silver lining - he put a burning desire in you to get good pix and get on match!
Try to have a sense of humor and smile and have fun. And come back and report. I love dating stories - good and bad. I always learn a lot. The people lessons are incredible!!
Liz, DEFINITELY go! Don't stay at home. I've done that and was so much angrier afterwards. Make yourself stunning and get out their! And yes, I would have nexted him for lying to me. 41 verses 47 is a huge difference; not just one or two years. Anyone that lies in my book, even a white lie, is now out the window. I don't give him the time of day.
BUT since you don't have other plans, just practice on him.
That is hilarious - but in a very bad way. He doesn't want to invest too much time or money in YOUR first meet with him because others have misrepresented themselves and then he does the same with you by misrepresenting himself with the age thing. I see him as someone very lazy who wants to get a lot without giving much or being responsible for his actions.
Online dating and dating in general are hard for everyone. He is not special to this for sure.
I don't know - I think I would NOT waste my time on this one for a date. I would go to the mall or bookstore or the movies by myself instead! And I would have a lot of fun writing him a decline letter and sending it via email. "I just don't think we are a match but i wish you the best of luck."
UGh - sorry - but that letter put a bad taste in my mouth. I am always here for whatever you choose - that is just what I would do. But maybe that is because I have had too many bad dates already!!
First of all, he makes plans and then changes them like that. That to me would be a first no go. THINK before you act. If you want to do something major, stick with it. Don't take a huge chunk out of a sandwich and start spitting it out again because you found out the price and now want to pay less. WEIRD ANALOGY, I KNOW!
I gotta ask you: How old are you? Ok, if you are like 41-42 maybe 5 years isn't so much, but I'M sorry, if you are older then that for me, it would be a major issue, because I wouldn't be ready to date someone almost 50 when I'm 35. I know some ladies don't mind, but I still have to think: when he was 26, I was 13! UGH! I know that most guys lie about their age once they hit mid 40's, because they "THINK" they look soo young. They don't! AND they think women the same age LOOK "old". Newsflash, men and women pretty much get the same amount of wrinkles. We age the same way. Once you start hitting 50, but age groups have aging problems. It is what it is. Also, he complains about a photo? Well his age wasn't recent either. So him lying about his age is as bad as putting up an old photo! Don't ya think????????
Pages
Sigh.
If you want to go for practice, why not?
But I really don't think this one is going to get better in person because of the lying about the age thing and the changing the date in a negative manner with negative comments thing. That is all like a big wet cold blanket when you are not out of the start gate.
Sorry you had to be disappointed. Because I have been disappointed a lot so I know how that feels. I had a guy say he was 42 when he was 52 and he didn't tell me until the first date. What a way to start. I don't understand why he can't write his age and explain that he would love a family. There are plenty of single moms that would feel lucky with his comments.
I can see his point about BG - it is hot - and that is sort of a big commitment to have to pay that money and do the whole park when you have not met someone yet and don't like them. But then he has to go on to say how he hates to pay for dinner when there is no chemistry - UGH. Perhaps he got carried away with the moment with the BG thing? Coffee is always best for a quick meet and then you can do more after that. It is just that his delivery of the whole thing sort of stinks.
I don't know maybe I am just so tired right now - I had to ride and run today.
Practice is good. It is up to you - could go either way.
That would really bug me too and I'm sitting here trying to think what I would do in your situation. He at least did come out and tell you the truth before you met him and was honest about what his intentions were. I'm no expert on online dating, but I'm willing to bet that it gets tough at times with just trying to get past first impressions and without actually "meeting" someone. Maybe he's just had so many negative experiences himself he feels like he needs to stretch the truth a bit. Lame excuse, but who knows.
I think I'd try to make a go of it. What have you got to lose and maybe you'll have a good time and really like him or just chalk it up to experience and something to compare it to later.
I'm going on a date tomorrow night pretty much for that reason. I feel like I just need to go and get out there and give it a shot. Sometimes those wind up being the best dates. If it doesn't work out...oh well.
The only thing I can commend him for is that he does want a family and he lied for this reason and hopefully not just to get a much younger woman - and online dating is frustrating with the lack of responses and the rejection and the ghosting and unrealistic expectations and people's situations and baggage. I don't think you should scold him - because what will that do, really? It will make you feel better because you are frustrated that you were looking forward to this and he had to poop in the middle of the pie. But it won't teach him a lesson or change his feelings. It will just make something bad worse. I think you could mention that you were disappointed by this.
I think you should tell him what you want to do for your first date - and see what he says. I have always taken the "watch very carefully in the beginning" approach to see how receptive they are to what I say initially and how concerned they are for making it a good experience for me. Wanting to come to a place close to where I live where I feel comfortable is good - wanting me to meet them at a casino so they can have their weekly gambling night while they meet me is bad - see what I mean? If they turn it into an "all about me" correspondence then they are done. This is such a huge thing in my book and it is so simple and tells you so much right from the start. I do believe it is the common denominator for finding someone who is caring and capable of a relationship.
I have a feeling that him in person is going to frustrate you more. But dating is good and experience with people is good - so I think you should go. It will be interesting for all of us to see the story about what he did in the beginning and how he is in person. I feel like this is a class assignment here!! LOL!! It is up to you. Keep us posted, okay?
Well then, that is the silver lining - he put a burning desire in you to get good pix and get on match!
Try to have a sense of humor and smile and have fun. And come back and report. I love dating stories - good and bad. I always learn a lot. The people lessons are incredible!!
Liz, DEFINITELY go! Don't stay at home. I've done that and was so much angrier afterwards. Make yourself stunning and get out their! And yes, I would have nexted him for lying to me. 41 verses 47 is a huge difference; not just one or two years.
Anyone that lies in my book, even a white lie, is now out the window. I don't give him the time of day.
BUT since you don't have other plans, just practice on him.
I can't wait to hear the update.
That is hilarious - but in a very bad way. He doesn't want to invest too much time or money in YOUR first meet with him because others have misrepresented themselves and then he does the same with you by misrepresenting himself with the age thing. I see him as someone very lazy who wants to get a lot without giving much or being responsible for his actions.
Online dating and dating in general are hard for everyone. He is not special to this for sure.
I don't know - I think I would NOT waste my time on this one for a date. I would go to the mall or bookstore or the movies by myself instead! And I would have a lot of fun writing him a decline letter and sending it via email. "I just don't think we are a match but i wish you the best of luck."
UGh - sorry - but that letter put a bad taste in my mouth. I am always here for whatever you choose - that is just what I would do. But maybe that is because I have had too many bad dates already!!
match.com - here you come!
I WOULD BE FURIOUS!
First of all, he makes plans and then changes them like that. That to me would be a first no go. THINK before you act. If you want to do something major, stick with it. Don't take a huge chunk out of a sandwich and start spitting it out again because you found out the price and now want to pay less. WEIRD ANALOGY, I KNOW!
I gotta ask you: How old are you? Ok, if you are like 41-42 maybe 5 years isn't so much, but I'M sorry, if you are older then that for me, it would be a major issue, because I wouldn't be ready to date someone almost 50 when I'm 35. I know some ladies don't mind, but I still have to think: when he was 26, I was 13! UGH! I know that most guys lie about their age once they hit mid 40's, because they "THINK" they look soo young. They don't! AND they think women the same age LOOK "old". Newsflash, men and women pretty much get the same amount of wrinkles. We age the same way. Once you start hitting 50, but age groups have aging problems. It is what it is. Also, he complains about a photo? Well his age wasn't recent either. So him lying about his age is as bad as putting up an old photo! Don't ya think????????
Cat, whose getting pissed with you!
Pages