Good girl - never hold your breath - just keep dating and getting out there. It is a numbers game and the way the dating cookie crumbles. I wish it could be easier, I really do - but there is no shortcut for the process!
I totally know where you are coming from. I had a great date with Chefguy and thought we would be going out again since we made plans. Shared a couple text messages but haven't heard from him in almost 2 wks. Next. Why do guys do that? Its so dumb just say "hey have something going on" or "I'm sorry I just don't feel it"
I hate that part of dating... all those first dates that don't go further!!!!! It's times like these that I just have to say to myself "at least you got a free meal" and then move on. If the men are gonna make so little of it, then I do too. Their loss!!!
It IS strange the way so many of the stories here are the extremes. Either not enough interest and they ghost... or they are TMTFTS and too eager to dive in without even taking the time to get to know one another first. All we want is something in between!
~shrimpy
It's never too late to live happily ever after, and always be grateful for those who make our souls blossom.
If you read the book "He's just not that into you".... you'll read why guys do that. The author says guys will do anything BUT tell you straight out that they are not into you
You would think that in this day of e-mail and text that it would be easier for people to do the right thing and just let the other one know that they aren't interested. After all, there is no face to face, so you don't have to "worry" about the other persons reaction...you just move on.
I can't understand either why people just won't do the decent thing and let the other know what is going on. It only takes about 30 seconds and you don't leave the other person hanging. I guess the moral is that if the guy won't even do that, they will probably be rude and inconsiderate on many other fronts.
These are the times arranged marriages sound appealing :)
Jerk! I just dont get these men, i think its the thrill of the chase sometimes.
I would agree with you on that thought. I dated a guy a couple times before I met CM, and I guess I wasn't impressed enough with his talk about how much he makes every year, or how fabulous his house was(pretty average IMO), that after those couple dates, I noticed he stopped being the one to initiate conversation, so I stopped to see if he would make more of an effort, and NOTHING!!
"so I stopped to see if he would make more of an effort, and NOTHING!!"
That is a very good thing to do. A good guy who is a mutual match will be interested and pursue and it will be easy.
I think a lot of guys on OLD are looking for something specific - as we are - and the good ones find it very fast. After reading Mark's stories, I realize that the guys get a LOT of dates - and patience is in order during the matching process. If it is one date and they don't call oh well - you just have to keep going on and be the very best person you can be on every aspect so you can get a mutual match that makes both people happy.
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I totally know where you are coming from. I had a great date with Chefguy and thought we would be going out again since we made plans. Shared a couple text messages but haven't heard from him in almost 2 wks. Next. Why do guys do that? Its so dumb just say "hey have something going on" or "I'm sorry I just don't feel it"
Good luck with your next date.
JL
I hate that part of dating... all those first dates that don't go further!!!!! It's times like these that I just have to say to myself "at least you got a free meal" and then move on. If the men are gonna make so little of it, then I do too. Their loss!!!
It IS strange the way so many of the stories here are the extremes. Either not enough interest and they ghost... or they are TMTFTS and too eager to dive in without even taking the time to get to know one another first. All we want is something in between!
~shrimpy
It's never too late to live happily ever after, and always be grateful for those who make our souls blossom.
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
If you read the book "He's just not that into you".... you'll read why guys do that. The author says guys will do anything BUT tell you straight out that they are not into you
A decent guy would have called and canceled or never asked out in the first place. He's a jerk!
Laurie
Jerk! I just dont get these men, i think its the thrill of the chase sometimes.
Remember that guy who did all the travel & then i thought he was a bit cocky in his email?
You would think that in this day of e-mail and text that it would be easier for people to do the right thing and just let the other one know that they aren't interested. After all, there is no face to face, so you don't have to "worry" about the other persons reaction...you just move on.
I can't understand either why people just won't do the decent thing and let the other know what is going on. It only takes about 30 seconds and you don't leave the other person hanging. I guess the moral is that if the guy won't even do that, they will probably be rude and inconsiderate on many other fronts.
These are the times arranged marriages sound appealing :)
Jerk! I just dont get these men, i think its the thrill of the chase sometimes.
I would agree with you on that thought. I dated a guy a couple times before I met CM, and I guess I wasn't impressed enough with his talk about how much he makes every year, or how fabulous his house was(pretty average IMO), that after those couple dates, I noticed he stopped being the one to initiate conversation, so I stopped to see if he would make more of an effort, and NOTHING!!
"so I stopped to see if he would make more of an effort, and NOTHING!!"
That is a very good thing to do. A good guy who is a mutual match will be interested and pursue and it will be easy.
I think a lot of guys on OLD are looking for something specific - as we are - and the good ones find it very fast. After reading Mark's stories, I realize that the guys get a LOT of dates - and patience is in order during the matching process. If it is one date and they don't call oh well - you just have to keep going on and be the very best person you can be on every aspect so you can get a mutual match that makes both people happy.
Oh I hate when they throw thier money in your face.
JH
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