"No kank you!"
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| Mon, 01-17-2005 - 3:43pm |
So today was my two year old's FIRST DAY of day care. He went a half day. TT dropped him off this morning, and called me from the parking lot in tears. He said Alex looked petrified, was walking around crying, and that he felt TERRIBLE abandoning him there. He said "I KNOW this will be good for him - but I just want to go in there and get him and take him right to Mimi's (my mom's) house!"
My mom picked him up at noon - lunch time - we thought half-days for the first few weeks might make it easier. She called to fill me in. She said his teacher said that he would play, then cry. Play, then cry. Play, then cry. And just so fearful. And never play with the other kids, just with certain toys, by himself. She said the kids would approach him and try to soothe him and tell him "'s'ok!" and he would walk away in tears. He RAN to my mom and cried hysterical tears of joy when she picked him up. She was driving home with him and said "did you have fun, Alex? Did you like playing with all of the kids and the new toys?" To which he responded "No Kank You, Mimi! No Kank You!"
Poor little guy!

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That is heart wrenching for sure but at least it is getting a little better. The poor little guy!! I would want to cry after dropping him off!!
I know that each day will get better, though. Hang in there.
I think it helped my son if I said, okay - mommy (or Mimi in your case) is picking you up at lunch. He always seemed to like me putting a reference time with the pick up. It got to where he would be okay going in if he knew for sure I was coming at lunch.
I had to laugh at my son this morning. He didn't want me to go near the cafeteria when we were walking up to the school - and heaven forbid if I should try to venture a kiss or hug goodbye - and he is only in 3rd grade now!!
I think that's why Alex refused to eat lunch, because TT told him when he dropped him off this morning "Mimi will come get you at lunch time!" The teacher told my mom they put a plate of food in front of him and he pushed it back and got VERY adamant! "NO KANK YOU! MY MIMI!"
His vocabulary is soooooooooo limited - but he ALWAYS manages to get his point across! LOL
Mindy
http://cosmosandcranium.blogspot.com/
AWWW! I remember dropping Dylan off for his first day of daycare. I had been home with him for the first 18 months and I wanted a part time job. So I took half days for him too and I thought it would be better than it was.
He cried so much and I just boo hoo'ed in the parking lot and showed up at work with a red nose and smeared eye makeup. Must have looked sooo professional. LOL!
He did get better, but I ended up taking him out of that place and finding a better place because he cried EVERtime I took him and he ended up getting really sick two times in about a month so I found another place and he took to it soooo much better.
Now he loves school. He's always enjoyed preschool, pre-k and now kindergarten. It was just that ONE place he hated. Hopefully Alex will be better after a few days. It's so hard for them and for us too!
Mel
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Thanks, Mel, and everyone else.
Yesterday was Alex's last day there - after a very horrific day. I called this morning and told them he wouldn't be there this morning or ever again. They had to look me and Alex up - had no idea who either of us were - which just solidified my decision.
I called and talked to Alex's psychologist yesterday about the day care center and Alex's need to be around children and socialized. He said that he didn't think that day care center was a good fit for him, at all, and to follow my mothers' intuition - if I felt in my gut he didn't belong there - not to take him there. We talked about what kind of situation would be the very best for Alex, and agree a home day care center with ONE MAIN provider and a VERY small number of children in a home setting would be the VERY best for him. Kim - you got any openings????? -wink- If I can't find that (and sometimes it takes a while to find a good in home day care) he suggested the smallest day care center we could find. With a good ratio of teachers to kids and a low turn over rate and as few kids as possible. Until we (my mom and I) find the perfect place - he is staying with my mom. Not that he has a choice today, as surprise, surprise, he's running a low grade temp and has a runny nose. Once he's well - she's going to accompany him to the rec center twice a week for activities . . . and she'll remain with him.
TT kind of bucked me at first in my thoughts and decisions, and I have to say I REALLY wanted to throttle him! Once he heard I called the psych. and talked to him, though, he said he agreed with everything I was saying and thought we should definitely do what we thought was best for Alex. And a "mega" day care center where he is shuffled from room to room, where kids come and go due to their parents' having shift work, and where teachers are so busy handling kids constantly coming and going that they don't have the time to pay any attention to any one child is NOT the best for Alex.
Keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we search, call, and interview!
Mindy
http://cosmosandcranium.blogspot.com/
It sounds like you've made a logical, well thought out decision. My dd has always been in daycare centers and she's very shy and very attached to me. When she was younger her classes were very small and she's always been with one or two teachers in the same room the whole day, except for an hour so in the morning when there's usually a group room. She's in a montessori school now and I think there's around 14 kids in the class with two teachers, but the kids range from 2-6 and the class has a family feel. The class is from 9-3 and before/after she's in a different room with different teachers, but she's handled that well. She's also 4 and has always been in a daycare setting.
The way my dd copes is that she always picks one teacher and that is 'her person.' That is the person she knows she can count on and will go to if she's scared, concerned, uncertain, etc. If 'her person' leaves the room she picks another person to be 'her new person' (she would identify a primary and a backup). She's did this from the age 6 months until age 3 or so. If 'her person' was in the room that would be the only one who could pick her up or feed her, and if someone she didn't know entered the room 'her person' better pick her up and protect her immediately.
Oh, see I didn't realize it was a center. I have only had my kids in home day care and I totally think that's the better environment especially for a little guy like Alex and his first time away from home for a length of time too. I hope you can find a suitable one near you. I don't know if you have such a thing there but here we have this service called Childcare Connection (I found it in the yellow pages) and you basically tell them what you want and they give you a bunch of referrals to check out. So at least it narrows it down a little for you.
Good luck!
Tara
A mother's intuition is never wrong. Maybe you can find a mom who has a kid his age and who needs the money to babysit him at your house or be an add-on to your mom for a while until he is big enough for preschool.
I wish you luck and agree with the therapist.
Hey Min,
I told agree with you! What a heartache for the whole family. Glad you decided for other options. I believe any womans intuition is never wrong. Mother or no mother. WE just have the knack. I went to a private small school as a child. It was the best for me, all the rest was to big and made me a wreck. Nina is also attending on Monday after putting her out again and waiting another year. Lets hope this time she doesn't lock the teacher in the room and run away, like the last time, which got her kicked out at age 3. LOL
Poor you, you all must be exhausted after such a week! Glad your out celebrating tonight and I had to laugh at your Harley outfit. Take a picture and send it to us! LOL
Big hugs darlin!
- Catherine
Kim
Las Vegas . . .
I've made a dozen phone calls today, at least, as has my mom. I go on 4 interviews tonight, 1 tomorrow, and 3 on Monday. ALL of them are in-home. I'm sooooo optimistic that I'll find the perfect fit for him!
Mindy
http://cosmosandcranium.blogspot.com/
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