No word from the guy ...
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| Fri, 06-22-2007 - 7:04am |
Good morning .... *yawn* Just in from Lawn Boys b4 the kidlet awakens ;)
Anyway, I took some or you advice & decided what could it hurt? - i needed to book, or not to book a sitter for tonite. I just had a "feeling" things would fall thru, thats why i didnt just assume our plans were positive, even though me made them. I mean, you talk to someone for 2 weeks, change a 1st date, he gets back on a Sunday & your re-scheduled date is for the next Fri - with NO definate plans where or when to meet - & you never hear a word from him again?
Anyway, so i sent this on Thurs AM *** "How did the Boys weekend go? Hope well, w/o too many mosquito, beer or bike casualties! I took the dogs to the beach on Sunday & we had a blast. Just checking in with you to be sure we are still on for Fri nite - so i can plan accordingly. Lemme know! (if so, time & place would help) ;) Thanks, R~" ***
& its 6:46 AM Friday morning. NEXT. Even if he DOES contact me today, i dont think i would go. The *only* excuse he has is he doesnt seem to email all that much. He tends to take 2 days at least, to respond to an email, but hello? its been FIVE days since he's been back in society. I wont send a Hate Mail, lol. I will just forget about him. If i hear from him, I will let him know that being a MOM, one has to have more definate plans WAY earlier. Funny though - this was my issue with Carlos at the beginning. Like this guy, a bachelor with no kids. We would make a plan to "do something Fri nite" on maybe Tues ... & then I would GET any details till that day. Carlos learned very quickly, b/c i TOLD him - "i HAVE TO plan ahead".
In the MEANTIME ... a really hot firefighter (oh oh, lol) has contacted me on Match. He lives on the Cape, but only less than about 1 hr from me. He is 39, SAYS 5' 10" & is seperated (no kids). Im not to thrilled about the seperated part, but will let you know how i handled that. He seems VERY my "type", unlike this guy for tonite, whom I was wishy-washy about. This guy I would be really psyched to meet. Plus, Im a wine snob ;) & he mentioned how i have in my profile that I have done the CA & Tuscany vineyards & he said THE THREE MAGIC WORDS ... "Silver Oak Cabernet". I *swear*, he chose my ALL TIME fav red wine ... he said "i have 2 all time favorite reds .." & that was one of them. At about $90 a bottle, he is MY TYPE ;)
Here's what we said about the separation thing, after 2 emails each, & he asked about getting together, I wrote this:
*** "Anyway - Sure, I wouldn't mind getting to know you a bit. BUT... the fact that you are separated gives me a little pause. I say a "little" b/c to me, there are different stages of separated ... the "good" separated is well on your way to divorce, no major hang ups, etc .. ready to move on, casually, & see where dating goes from there. The BAD separated? Your wife doesn't know yet - & believe me, in my 2.5 yrs of singlehood - I have run into that more than once. (& the guys are stupid enough to tell me! lol). I totally understand wanting to get out there & begin dating during the divorce process. I began dating about 7 months after we split up & the divorce took almost 2 more years, so i wasnt waitng around 4-ever. BUT, i knew i was "done" with my marriage. I just hesitate to get to know someone , & possibly get involved with them, to find out down the line, that the divorce isnt happening. -- SO ... with all THAT in mind, let me know what you think & maybe we can chat a bit."
& here is his repsonse to that:
*** "Rebecca: Wow where do I start? First I love your honesty second I love that you drink red wine. Just let me say this as it regards to my marriage, I am separated and getting divorced- it is complicated process, due to a few things, two homes, two golf course memberships and one dog . Well you know, you've been through this . but we are both amicable and things are moving along at a nice pace"
So - i think I am interested in him, anyway! :)
http://members.ivillage.com/rlch/
Edited 6/22/2007 7:08 am ET by rlch


That is OLD for you - one goes out, one comes in!!
I do like that you clarified the separated thing and what you write is always good - the kind of separated where the wife doesn't know yet - how hilarious!!!!
I have never liked separated myself. But my neighbor did have luck with that so I guess we all have to keep in mind what each one of us likes and doesn't like. In her case she knew the guy for a while at work and he was separated. He wanted to wait til his divorce was final to ask her out but was afraid that someone else would scoop her up so he took a chanced and asked her out. They hit it off and ended getting married. But there were no kids in the mix on his side (she had 3), as is your case, which is encouraging. I think that makes it easier.
Okay - so keep us posted. I have 2 new ones on the line myself.
I like the wine guy, and I like that he appreciates things he knows about you already.
I think you made the best decision in NEXTing the other guy- I'm wondering if maybe he was wishy-washy about you too.
Either way, it obviously doesn't matter, have fun if you meet Mr Wine.
Any plans to?
Moody, not really big on wine
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Right on about you being up front and asking/telling the "seperated" guy about where you stand on the thin lined subject.
I've never been divorced (don't really see myself ever marrying to be honest--regardless if I have two children) but I do know it's a tough process--not to mention when things DO have to be divided up. Someone usually ends up getting a bit too greedy, one person refuses to sign the final paper once the end is near, or there aren't enough funds to complete the process to name a few.
Good luck =D