Not feeling good about this...
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| Wed, 09-22-2004 - 12:30pm |
Shane has been talking to him about moving out here to work for him at the dealership. He says it will help his friend learn to make some money and get some quality of life. I think it's great that he wants the best for his friend, but does he have to come here to do it? Shane thought he had him convinced to do it once before and he backed out. But Shane called this morning and said he thinks he has him talked into it now. Shane seems very excited about it. But I'mnot so much. I love him to death and he's a good guy, but the point is he will have to stay with us for a little while, which limits me to being fully dressed walking around the house at night instead of changing into my pj's early like I do sometimes, and we can't really be ourselves. I also feel like I'll spend a lot of time alone because Shane will be occupied with his friend talking to him and leaving me out of the loop.
Maybe this is selfish. But I'm not thrilled with the idea of his friend living with us even for a few days. It's just uncomfortable for me. When Shane called me to tell me about it, he could see I was less than excited and he wondered why. But he said he knew I'd be upset and he was sorry. We are not doing so well with money these last couple of months since traffic at the dealership has been down some and I don't think one more mouth to feed is a good idea even for a week. Plus the cost of going out that I'm sure Shane will add to the mix if his friend moves out here. I'm sure his friend will convince him to go out more than we can afford.
I know he's excited about his best friend coming out and i am happy for him. I know he likes hanging out with him. I'm just dreading the time alone I'll have if he comes. I'm used to having Shane here with me and including me when he does most things. It feels good to have someone that will do that. But if his friend comes, things will change. I know it.
Mel

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Mel, have you and Shane REALLY discussed this and have you agreed to a "Game plan" when this guy comes, or did Shane just say "hey, my buddy is moving here. And he's going to be staying with us till he gets on his feelt"???? This is a BIG thing in a marriage. Especially a new one. You don't just invite people to come and stay for extended periods of time without COMPLETE agreement.
As always, your financial concerns are valid, and something needs to be done about it.
I know how you feel for sure. I'd be the same way. J would never ask me to be ok with someone else moving in unless we had a very clear agreement on how long, how much weight guest would pull around the house, and how we would work out our own personal family time.
Has he been consulting you on this at all up till now?
If you DO agree to allow him to move in, WRITE A CONTRACT, SET A DROP-DEAD move out date, with no exceptions.
Our friends - I talk about them here often - his best friend moved here from California due to being unable to find work in the dismal economy in Sept. of 03. He moved in with friends, for what was supposed to be 90 days, long enough to find a job, stash some savings, get a roomate, and get out. He moved out three weeks ago. It was NOT a good deal, at all, and it caused ALOT of strain on our friends' family life, as a whole.
AND - I have to say - if he DOES move in - unless your jammies are sexy - I would have absolutely NO qualms about wearing your jammies all of the time. I put my jammies on (pajama pants and a tank top) the moment I get home from work - and I don't care WHO comes over - I don't get dressed again! It's MY HOUSE!!!!!!
Hugs. You and Shane need to sit down and talk about this and reach a MUTUAL agreement. I'm going through something similar, as Tim's niece is coming to live with us. It was very much a JOINT decision - and had I said "no, I'm not comfortable with this, this is unacceptable", she would NOT be moving in.
Mindy
http://cosmosandcranium.blogspot.com/
But he said we'd talk when he got home tonight. I don't want to argue, but when Shane gets a feeling that he needs to do something, he's pretty determined to do it.
Mel
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Mel
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WhATEVER your reasons are - it's YOUR house, Dylan's house, just as much as it Shane's, and you have the right to say "NO!"
Mindy
http://cosmosandcranium.blogspot.com/
It's great that he wants to help his friend out, but setting him up in your house only sounds like a hinderance. If you had a spare room for him, maybe- but he'd be taking over your LIVINGROOM??? I THINK NOT!!!!
Definetly encourage the spare room from the coworker as the option.
And maybe throw in a little about pregnancy and the hormonal outbursts... LOL couldn't hurt to make the FRIEND not want to stay with you two... :)
Alison
Mel
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Ha!
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