Now When I Was a young girl...

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Registered: 02-08-2006
Now When I Was a young girl...
5
Fri, 02-02-2007 - 7:11am

My dad warned me about the opposite sex. He'd say "yeah, that's just what you need, some crazy boy with wild ideas, and you know what always happens next." I tried to heed his advice, but now I'm thinking it sounds kinda nice. It's just what I need on a night like this. A long walk in the dark, someone I can't resist. A little rendevous, a little mystery. When I look at you, I think that's just what I need.

Well. OLD-guy, who I'm going to refer to as "Boss" from now on (inside joke, but it fits- in a good way) came over last night. I know, I know... not usually a good idea. We've been talking on the phone every day since the weekend, he calls in the am, every am, just to say "hi" and warn me if the roads are bad or whatever. He calls in the pm, every pm, to ask how my day was and chat.

So, last night he brought over pizza and we hung out with the kids. I know, I know, also not usually a good idea. I just feel so comfortable with him since he's my best friend's friend. I introduced the idea of him, and him in person, to my kids as my friend. Since I do have lots of male friends, it wasn't a big deal for them. He engaged both kids in conversation. His daughter's a year (almost exactly) older than my son, so he gets kids, gets little girls, and gets single parenthood. He and Droid bonded over wrestling talk and hunting information. Fun.

The kids were SO well behaved. They went to bed amazingly well, considering we had a visitor over at bedtime.

Then it was just Boss and me. Obviously, things weren't going to get too crazy, as my children were in the house. Obviously I didn't want them to, as I like him, and think he's more than a fling (potentially). We made out for a while, and it was extremely enjoyable. No sex- and he certainly didn't push for it. I didn't have to wonder if he was going to respect my boundaries, since making out was all either of us seemed to want.

Boss and I are still going out tonight, dinner and a movie. We're also going skiing tomorrow- and I'm bringing my kids. My friend who is also his friend is coming with her son, and I'm sure we'll have a ball.

He called this am to say "have a great day, see you tonight" kind of thing. Double D is so far down the list he's invisible right now. Boss is exactly the type of guy I'm looking for- funny, smart, good job, good father, sweet in a good (non-sappy) way, and since he's older, has been in serious, committed relationships and has a child, he gets time constraints. At the same time, he makes it clear that he doesn't have a problem MAKING time for me.

He's basically the second guy in a year (and both within a couple of months) that I'm willing to make time for. Good sign. Better sign is that unlike Double D, Boss calls just to talk, and has something to say. I'm truly enjoying the euphoric, blissful feeling right now.

Double D was a lot of fun, and I always laughed and had a good time with him, but I think we're simply too different to have an actual relationship with each other.

I'm so glad Boss came over last night, since now the pressure of "will we like each other in person" and "is there going to be any chemistry" is off. We were both exactly like we are on the phone together- no weird awkwardness that sometimes comes in the first meeting. He engaged the kids in conversation, but didn't overstep any boundaries.

So, I know I'm probably going to get lambasted here (I know it will all be out of concern, no worries) for having him here, with the kids, so quickly. However, sometimes, it just feels right. This is one of those times.

Moody, bracing herself


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Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 02-02-2007 - 7:56am

I think BOSS sounds very nice indeed! What a pleasant surprise that you like each other in person so well. And a relief, too.

I LOVE how he calls you AM and PM - and that he called the next morning.

Normally I would not like that you invited him to your house - but it can be overlooked since he is a friend of a best friend and he is a single dad and he was behaved. I guess that is one way to test them! And it is great that you introduced him as a friend to the kids. It is a nice gesture that he brought the pizza.

Thumbs up on this one - keep us posted! As you know it takes a few months to get to know someone and bring the dustballs out of the closet so to speak.

But I am really hoping this one is a wonderful match and things go well. It sounds like he is into you and a good down to earth person. WOOHOO!

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Registered: 11-20-2003
Fri, 02-02-2007 - 8:02am

Hi Moody,

Well, I "should", of course, say no no noooo, but actually I am going to say yes yes yeeeees, because this sounds FAB!!! After all, surely what everyone wants is to find that person that makes you throw the rulebook out of the window, and feel comfortable doing so.... You trusted your gut instinct, and because of your friend knowing him, you knew you would not be exposing your kids to a player/jerk/serial killer, and you felt comfortable having him over as a friend for a pizza. And it worked out great (I had been hoping it would, but thought I would have to wait one more day to find out ;o))

Yes, we all agree that we want to be in a stable relationship before we introduce our kids. But you know what? Just because we wait until we are sure, nothing in this life is ever sure. Who knows how things will go? Who can tell whether 2, 5 or 20 years down the line the relationship will turn sour? That's part of life, and part of love, and these things hold no guarantees. We all want to protect our little ones as much as possible, but it's not because we wait a year until our man meets our kids that a lifetime of happiness is guaranteed. In the same way, introducing them early does not mean the relationship is doomed.

You went with your gut, and I say Good on You!

Make the most of all that lovely euphoria!

Looking forward to the date report, whenever it comes :o)

Clem xx

p.s. I am taking bets that Double D now turns up with flowers, chocolate and possibly some lovely, shiny, BIIIG jewels.. ;o)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 02-02-2007 - 10:54am

"p.s. I am taking bets that Double D now turns up with flowers, chocolate and possibly some lovely, shiny, BIIIG jewels.. ;o)"

HAHAHA - LOL!! Missclemmy you are always so funny!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Fri, 02-02-2007 - 4:52pm

Haha. Clemmy, if Double D shows up with flowers and/or chocolates, I think I'll wonder how you got his number!

At this point, I'm turned off by Double D's lack of initiative- especially when it's in such contrast to Boss and the fact that he makes it plain- without having to say so- that he's interested in getting to know me better.

Double D and I are simply too different, I think, and I deserve more. Boss might or might not be the guy who will give me more, but I'm thinking so far, all systems go.

I'm only happy that things won't be sticky with Double D and I at work. Not only do we not see each other much unless it's on purpose, but we also aren't awkward with each other when we do. He could be someone who is hilariously funny that I catch a quick lunch with, but not someone I could see myself going on vacation with.

I really like how you say, "After all, surely what everyone wants is to find that person that makes you throw the rulebook out of the window, and feel comfortable doing so...." That hits the nail squarely on the head. While I'm certainly not thinking in long term plans just yet, I like that I'm excited to see him three days in a row, having him meet my children wasn't that scary, and I'm just plain happy.

West- I also agree that it really takes months to know someone. Since he's an OLD guy, we did talk more in the beginning than I might with someone I met at the library- but we haven't stopped talking, and he is really just a genuinely nice guy. Boss knowing my friend only makes things easier.

Moody, gearing up to go home and prep for the date!


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Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 02-02-2007 - 5:15pm
Good luck on your date - come back and report!! What a great way to start the weekend!!