Obsession Over
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 05-02-2006 - 10:57am |
I feel better knowing that you most of you seem to think that its okay to contact her at some point. I am not obsessed with my feelings anymore (talking about all of this has really helped me so thank you for your patience) I think I have them under control. I have already made that mistake of sharing those with her three times now...lol...I think I learned (if not I'm DOOMED!)
I feel comfort in knowimg that I am different than all the other jerks out there. I haven't been to work in two days. Haven't seen or talked to her since saturday (yesterday was really hard). But I will drop her a text asking her how her day is going (on wednesday) because I want her to know that just because I didn't get the answer that my heart desires doesn't mean that I am going to run and hide. I told her I would be here for her now I have to show that I am loyal and honest as I always have been. I still want to pursue her as a friend (not pursue as in force her) and I don't want to disappear. I want her to know that I am only a phone call away and that I have not changed. I think too many men would run and be jerks and I care too much about this person. What attracted me to her in the beginning is still there. She is an amazing and wonderful person in my eyes and she is still here so why not act normal, keep the feelings in, and just be her friend.
I think (here I go thinking again) that being her friend and being able to contact her (talking about the little things which don't include US or MY own feelings) is that way to go. Conversations that might include her daughter and how she is doing. Talking about the little things in each of our separate lives. I think sharing with her someone I met or something I did would be nice showing her that I am moving on and living a normal healthy life without her always on my mind. Yes of course, my heart wants to tell me that by doing this that she might see I am not showing her that affection anymore and she might miss that but that isn't what matters. After re-reading the posts in the past on here, I think what I have is a friend for life and I should be greatful and not have pitty!
Aces
If this sounds "out there!" let me know because Wednesday is tomorrow and I don't want to do anything RASH. Again, thank you all sincerely for your help. Maybe this is getting old for all of you but I respect your advice and know that you know better so I keep coming back :) :) :)

Aces, it sounds like your heart is in the right place. If you can contact her without everything being awkward and weird, more power to you!
I personally wouldn't necessarily be able to do that right away, but that's a personal thing, I guess, and just how I am. I am friends with some of my ex-crushes, and most of my ex-boyfriends, so I know it can be done. I also know you know her, and yourself, better than we possibly could, and if you think this is possible, it is. You can do whatever you want to do.
Being her friend is absolutely the best possible scenario, since it's what she needs(and has said she wants), and no one (meaning you)has too many friends. You obviously care about this person, and it shows what strength of character you have to put so much thought and energy into a friendship when you wanted more from her. That's a very mature, respectable attitude for a person to have, and you should feel very proud of yourself for being able to do that.
I don't think it's at all rash, I think it's very mature. I also think if she isn't receptive to your sincerely platonic friendship, you will get the hint fairly quickly, since you aren't going to be over analyzing everything. Right? Right? Right.
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Heya moody. So I went looking for her a little bit figuring that I didn't have anything to lose by saying hi. If we couldn't have friendship I would know right away. I ran across her accidentally on purpose though and when I looked up there she was in the distance. We made eye contact and waved and smiled to eachother. I went to her because I couldn't tell what she was doing standing where she was. She had been waiting for someone and so I waited until their conversation was over to talk to her. I walked with her to her office.
I asked her if I could ask her a question (just messing with her a little) and she said sure (expecting something emotional again I am sure). I asked her if I could use her as a reference if I decided to move up in the company. She asked y the question (confused at this pt I am sure) telling me that any of the supervisors here in vegas would vouche for me. She said y me? I said, well, with your new position and all you're gunna b a person of high stature. She said, oh stop it, knock it off with a smile.
I broke the ice...things went fine and I felt much better. I asked if she had opened the candy yet (that I had gotten her on Saturday for her office) and she said absolutely, u know it. So I asked for a couple and she said absolutely. Conversation was light and normal and at some pt I said, well, I have to go I have things to do. I ended it by saying I will see you when I see you or talk to you when I talk to you. She smiled as always and said bye.
No analyzing here just think that things went well. I am sure I kept her on her toes with that question. I do of course wonder if she thinks about that conversation at all and respects me more for having come to her (something I won't ever know). I have no idea when to call her or talk to her again. I think perhaps I should leave any phone calling in her court although I know she might think that by calling me I might take it the wrong way. It certainly didn't help that she looked way cute today and "hot" in my eyes but I held back. I did ask her about her hair asking if she had cut it. She said no, I just straightened it. I said, u actually woke up and did that today? U usually sleep through your alarms. She laughed.
All and all a good day....
ACES
Aces, I know this has been hard for you. Moody gives great advice - and this is cute what you did - it broke the ice and I think things will go easier from here. You have a good spirit.
Keep us posted! It is great to have a guy on our board.
Aces, sounds like a friendly conversation to me. Also, I'm not sure I would call her, and I'm not sure I would hold my breath expecting her to call me. For the exact reason you mentioned- she wouldn't want you to read too much into it.
But, it's an excellent first start to what could be a great, long lasting friendhsip. Don't hope for too much, but who knows? Sometimes fate has a way of helping us out. Sometimes fate can be a real bugger, too.
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