Oh I"m Sooo....!
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| Sun, 02-25-2007 - 12:05pm |
Well hi guys, I'm sorry I'm not on a supportive mood, I need to vent! Forgive me now please.
DS came home from his dad's yesterday. He was playing at the kitchen table with his lego's while I was getting dinner. He talks outloud alot when he's really engrossed in his playing, you know he's 7,,and he says,, "my daddy, oh yeah Ah Ah Ah , it's our daddy now. Momma, (new g/f) said I have to say our daddy now at daddy's house".
Sorry but i am a bit taken off guard. My x-h and I have been divorced for a year and a half, and he has been living with his new g/f for 2 years.She has 3 kids.I don't have a steady b/f. My son has met 1 guy I dated for 2 months, and that was last summer, but since then, i havent introduced him to anyone, but he does know HER and her kids well.And as far as i can see she has been good to DS when he is there.
As far as mine,x-h and HER relationship goes, it is not good.My x-h and i can get along if are alone together, he will comply with my wishes, except he doesnt pay child-support. We dont fight about it, I simply went to DHS and they will handle it.so we really dont have anything to fight about,until she gets involved. DS had a school meeting a month ago, and xh asked if i wouldnt go, so SHE could attend.He told me flat out, she doesnt feel comfortable,
I called his mother and vented to her, and she suggested I suggest that the 3 of us go. I thought it was a good idea,b/c it is only about our son, so whatever.And btw, She and I have never met face to face.So icalled HER back and suggested it and she wouldnt let me speak to xh, and so i ssuggested it to her, and she said we would have to meet somewhere else for our first meeting to clear the air. I said no problem, we'll do it at xh parents house, and she could arrange the time.
The next AM she called me to"apoligize" and clear the air, and I complied very gracefully. She tried to "assure" me they really have DS best interests in mind. So what i basically what i got from her little speach is, I can only talk to her,b/c xh just can't talk to me, it is still to hard on his stress and she is really on DS side and would be more likely to get things done for DS sake.
I really have let all this go, and said what ever, it is really only for DS and as long as the lines of communication are open in some way, and if i play nice with HER, eventually she'll see i am not a threat to THEM and maybe i time the 3 of us can all get along well.
Now i get this info, on top of the fact DS also told me they just got TiVO, which isnt free in these parts is not cheap, and SHE just got a new jeep, which isn't actually new, but it is the 3 vehicle between them.
When I have a man in my life, which i know I will find someone, I wouldnt feel comfortable asking DS to refer to him as "daddy", I believe any "step" parent is still there name, and though they love each other and have a bond, they dont get parent title.I do feel the exception is present when children are very young and grow up with the spouce as really having that participation in their life. say an infant, or under 3yrs ol. Anyway that is just my personal belief and I understand that we all have our ouw, and that is what makes us all indivuals. I feel as though I cant vent my distaste to any of THEM,but boy it really makes me livid...
So that closes my vent thanks to all for letting me ramble. Any of you in this or been there?? I need some soothing...

I know a little of how you feel. My son's father and I were very young- high school sweethearts- when I got pregnant. The relationship was doomed, as we're both not the same people we were before he was born, but it has more to do with growing up than our son, and we parted ways when he was a couple of months old.
We've always managed to have a civil relationship- neither of us wants to be with the other, we both care most about our son, and we don't wish the other any harm. He sees our son for about a week in the summer and every other weekend.
He also has a live-in girlfriend, and they've just had a baby. Droid, my son, calls the new girlfriend his step-mom, and that's okay with me, even though she isn't technically. In general, she's a very nice-seeming person. I've only met her a couple of times, although I have talked to her on the phone. She does go out of her way to be good to my son, and he loves her. That's good with me, since I want him to be spending time with people that he loves and who love him in return.
When she's not home, my ex will call just to chat- sometimes not even about our son, really, but about life in general. When she's there, though, he won't even answer the phone if I call- and I ALWAYS only call to talk about an issue with our son. We have a civil, friendly relationship, and had been split for years before she ever even met him. Why she's jealous, I have no idea.
I also think a part of the blame lies with my ex for not acting the same way around her as he does when she's not there. We're not doing anything wrong, he's happy with her and I'm happy without him, but his shifty behavior must make her feel as if he's trying to hide something.
The only real advice I have for you is to get through this, be glad the other woman isn't a terror to your son, and know that her jealousy issues aren't your problem. Just be glad it's your ex who's with her, and not you.
I also have issues with the amount of child support my ex pays versus the amount of money he appears to be spending on frivolous items, but it really isn't any of my business- I know they're probably just barely keeping their heads above water when it comes to debt, and I also know I don't have that problem... so if they think they need a new car every year and every new game system that comes out, more power to them. I would rather put the money in my kids' college accounts and my own retirement plan, but to each his own.
I'm just glad I'm not with the secretive big spender anymore, and she'll be the one stuck with his debt, just as she's the one worried about why he's got so many secrets. Not my problem, as long as they're good to my kid, which they are.
Moody, washing her hands of it
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Yup Moody I have to say I agree with that point of view, she can have all his debts and bad credit, and all of him,, it just burns me that I cant speak directly to him,especially when it only concerns our son.But hey, at least there is some kind of communication..