OK single moms - work (off topic)
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| Thu, 07-26-2007 - 10:04am |
I know this is a dating forum but since we are all single moms out there plugging away. I was wondering what everyone does and how that works being a single mom.
My undergraduate degree is in Paralegal Studies and I worked as a paralegal for about 12 years. It can be a very stressful and demanding job and lawyers don't understand that you have kids and a family at home only that there are filing deadlines and could care less (for the most part) what the other demands on your time might be. Staying late is expected and becoming single doesn't really allow for that. So not long after my separation from my husband I separated from paralegal work. Been meandering around trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up (after all I'm only 39 and still have 25 - 30 years of work ahead of me, more than behind me).
I have been to school for a few things and didn't feel that it would quite fit me. When I knew my M wasn't going to work out I went back to get a teaching license. I knew that the hours would be good for the kids and I could be home with them in the summer. However after considering it and taking some classes it seemed as though that may not really be the case. Teachers here don't make much to start out (around $30,000) which we would not be able to live on without me taking a summer job therefore the kids would still have to have child care in the summers and the best part of that was really not going to work out. So I decided against it since I can make more as a secretary and the stress is much lower than what I would have as a teacher with all the NCLB stuff)
So I am trying to figure out what would work well for me as well as my little ones. I have considered getting an MSW but I wouldn't want to be an actual Social Worker with a case load as that again entails long hours away from the people who need me most. It would be rewarding but wouldn't be a great job for a single mom. I could use it to go into research or community outreach and am considering that.
I am also looking into nursing. I don't have a lot of science courses from my degree so would probably have to take some to start out. There are lots of nursing programs around and I don't know what one would be good for me but there are so many options for nurses, day work, evening, weekends only; hospitals, dr. office, hospice, and going on to further yourself as a nurse practitioner or nurse anesthetist but even an RN makes pretty good money (I think). Don't know if I should do a second degree and get BSN or if it would be easier to get an AAS in nursing from the local community college. I don't know that it matters as long as I am licensed unless I want to get an MSN later.
Anyhow right now I'm working at the university and can get the fees for one class a semester waived. So that is a great benefit I don't want to pass up. They also encourage departments to all employees the flexibility to take classes during working hours. Being at a university, education is obviously very important.
I know this is way off topic, but who better to give me advice than a bunch of other single moms. I want to do what is best for not only me, but also my kids. I want a challenging and rewarding career that offers flexibility. So what do you all do and how does that work for your family? Any one have any great advice or ideas. This is a great group of women and I appreciate your opinions.
Priscilla (still not grown up at almost 40)

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This is a great topic.... and very relevant to single moms. I'm also paying attention to stories about single moms and job stories in the news. I think YahooNews had a story about the best jobs for parents yesterday.....
As for me... I work in television. I am a graphic designer for broadcast news. Not a good field for a single mom, though. I got the job 9 years ago when I was living with my baby's daddy. So I was more flexible when I first started and I had a great boss who understood. In fact I almost didn't take the job. He hired me, but the first week I said, hmm I dont think this will work out with my children's schedule. But my boss back then said, we'd make it work. He gave me a split schedule on days that I worked nights so I could spend quality time with the children before going back to work all night. Like taking a 2 hour dinner break.
Two kids later and after my second divorce, i've gone thru several bosses... Some were like "you work in TV, you should expect to work on-call or holidays or unexpected long hours"... while others had children of their own and respect my 9 - 5:30 schedule, and that I need to leave ON TIME to pick my children up from daycare (to avoid late fees). Just depends on the boss.
So, right now I work 40 hours. 9 - 5:30 m-f. almost never on the weekend, but yes, i do work most holidays. And on holidays i can bring the children into the office. Most days I CANNOT even work a minute past 5:30 or i'll be late picking the children up from the afterschool care. But on occasion i'll work thru lunch or get to work earlier to finish big projects. (and now that my annoying boss left, I'm very happy at work).
Loonybunny
Being a single mom is SO tough when you also want a career. Their are certain careers, such as Judy, with her own company that makes it work, but the reality is, the majority of women have to work in the office.
I gave up my dream job YEARS ago. BUT, I am moving back to what I loved doing. I had a high level marketing career in the Hotel Industry. I was head of Europe, Middle East, Asia and India (EMEA) for all VIP's. LOVED THAT JOB! Met AWESOME people, opened new hotels; it was the bomb, but it just didn't pay enough.
I got suckered into a consulting firm (the one I am to this day) that promised me a great marketing role. I was in Europe at the time when I took it. The money was 3 times the amount I made in the HOtel and my X husband really wanted me to take it. At first it was fine, because I was traveling, but then once I became pregnant a second time and then divorced I had to change careers.
I worked out of home as a project manager for a few years but coming back to here, I am a secretary. A high paid secretary, but one nonetheless. BUT! I have changed my life around a little. I took on roles and responsibilities that do not pertain to a secretary, but to Marketing Communication and Events. I kind of just slipped into it and now it's the majority of my work. I love it, I'm happy, I get paid the same AND I do a little of what I did back in the day. The role I took may even turn out better, it may branch off to it's own department and then I can work from home. Soooooooooo...... that is what I am banking on. I know what I want to do, but I know I can't, because I have my children. I would love to continue to work in Marketing and Events to travel, but I am happy enough now to take the back seat, go to school and do my administrative job. I keep taking on new roles and hope that one day, I will be rewarded for the long hard service that I do with a smile. I am very sly about who I rub elbows with and how I can get what I want. I have had a 100% turn around attitude since I've taken the leap and tried out other things away from the normal job. I encourage those that feel stuck to do so. It opens doors. I guarantee it.
Well, I work as a legal secretary for a huge firm here in Oklahoma (we also have a firm in D.C. and Arkansas) and finally after moving around a bit in the firm have two bosses that understand that my kids come first. On the weeks I don't have the boys, they know I can work as much overtime as they need, but on the weeks I do have the kiddos, that I have to leave right at 5:30 to get them from daycare on time.
The pay is reasonable, but I still find myself living from paycheck to paycheck. I have been considering trying something from home to supplement my income, but as of yet, haven't figured out what that might be yet, haha!
Hey Priscilla, where do you live again? How far are you from Wilmington? I am trying to think of where we can meet. Otherwise, I am going to be in Wilmington the weekend after next too. So let me know if you just want to meet then.
Big huggies,
Catherine
This is a GREAT topic!
I'm in Durham, so on the way to Wilmington if you are taking 40. So a stopping point on the way to or from but not really, really convenient.
I'm going down to Wilmington the weekend of August 3rd if that is the weekend you are next planning to head down and we could try to meet then down there.
yeah, I take 17 up, I don't go 40. BUT I will be in Wilmington again on the 3rd. Let's definitely try to meet up then. Even if just for a quick beer with your friends. I think it would be neat and I'll take pix if you do. :)
See ya soon!
- cat.
This is definitely relevant to this board. I work as an administrative assistant right now. It used to be in HR but then people started retiring and we had a restructuring and now I do a little bit of everything! I mainly post job positions and resumes on our website and newsletter and match them up. My job is getting to the point where I feel like my brain is being turned into mush. I've asked my boss for extra projects or responsibilities but he doesn't have anything. He has his OWN executive assistant and she gets everything that is new. I've been at this place for 9 years. I wouldn't mind going to a job placement company to get more interaction with what I ultimately want to do. I need to get my foot in the door some way!
I am currently trying to finish my bachelor's degree to become a training specialist. Don't know if training specifically is what my goal is but I know it will help me as far as HR goes. I love helping people and have been actively trying for the past 6 months to find a job that will allow me to help more. I'm only going part time to school so it will probably take me 3 more years max to finish. I'm not giving up hope though! The hours here are 8:30 - 5, M-F. My boss is very flexible with my hours because he knows I have to leave by 5 to go get my son. Also on the semesters that I have to make up time from leaving for classes, he allows me to be flexible on how I make that up which helps A LOT.
Jennifer
This is a great thread! I have been fortunate to have known since I was 15 that I wanted a career in PR. I have been employed in the field for approx. 15 yrs now (phew time flies).
I had the mothership of all PR jobs that lasted for about 12 yrs at a large Brewery. Lots of rubbing elbows with celebrities, politicians, athletes, back stage at the most exciting events, travel to exotic locations to help people (our winners) live their "once in a lifetime opportunity" etc etc. It was a fabulous gig for someone who is young and willing to go the extra mile to prove their abilities. I was quickly climbing the corporate ladder and had the ear of all of the senior execs due to the visibilty of the position. Then I became engaged and I noticed immediately that the way my co-workers (read 'men') related to me was somehow different. It was worse when I actually married and then the writing was on the wall when I became pregnant. I was in a man's world and clearly I was a little less appealing with a ring on my finger and a bun in the oven!
After I had my second baby I was packaged off - which I was ready for. I now work for a large but heavily restricted corporation so I despite my title I cannot actually practise PR - It kills me. I have found that by volunteering my time and skills for causes that I care about helps me to maintain my sanity. Plus I can do that work from home or even at my desk during some down time. I always keep my eyes peeled for a different opportunity but for now - my girls come first. I work a four day week and have a great deal of flexibility which is essential for me as a single commuting mom.
If I had to do it all over again knowing what I know now I might have become a school teacher with an eye on a principal or admin role. I might have stayed with PR but taken the agency route where there does tend to be more flexibility on morphing your work week.
I am also looking at an on-line business to better fulfill my own personal goals but that will take a little while to get up and running. Another great career path that people can take on part-time to start is real estate. My former H is a full time Fire-Fighter and a part-time Real Estate agent. He has only been licenced in Real Estate for 2 yrs and he triples his annual income with his part time job! Food for thought for those with an outgoing personality and looking for a career with flexbility.
Great topic!!!
Rose
Hi gal_startingover!
If your working at a university and can get the fees for one class a semester waived plus take classes during working hours...do it! That sounds like a once in a lifetime oportunity that you just can't pass up!
I am the single mom of two little boys and I know EXACTLY how you feel.
I work a full time job as assistant to the VP and I also do the marketing. Because I love the marketing and it's something I want to advance in, my boss encourages me to get a degree. But when you work a full time job...how? when? By the time I get home, I have just a few hours to spend with my kids. Just enough time for dinner, bath, homework & bed!
To take what little time we have together away is not an option right now. Plus, by the time I get home from work, I am exhausted! I am afraid I couldn't handle the added stress of school and homework right now. Maybe when my boys are older...
You have the oportunity to take classes durring work..that is awesome and I really think you should do it. Even if you're not sure what you want to do, take a general class....you have nothing at all to lose!
Good luck and take care
Sincerely
Vamberlee
Single mom &
Author of Beautiful Tears
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