I think you know my story with Trav. We met through an online ad and went from that to talking on the phone for hours at a time. We didn't meet till 2 months into it. I knew from talking to him that with him it would be for real or I'd better not go there at all. After a couple more months of dating around I committed to being exclusively seeing him. Now it's still "getting to know each other" and will take time as he is overseas a lot.
Online is good for the initial meeting I think, if you bring it into the real world relatively quickly.
Mandy, I think the whole issue of "having time to date" is solved when you meet the man who is worth making the time for, don't you? I mean, doesn't it cease to be a stress, and instead become a joy to see them? I know some would argue "How're you going to meet "Mr. Right" if you don't date?" but really, I don't think you have to be actively dating around to meet someone.
Can I just say, I think you are VERY self aware and do just fine. You know the relationship you are in right now isn't really filling all of your needs, but it serves a
you're a very mature woman, no matter your age. You know what you want, you're smart, have a career, don't take BS. That's going to count a lot of guys out.
Too true. Too true.
Here's what I was told over and over...That I was INTIMIDATING to men. Huh? Me??? I felt SOOO insecure most of the time. BUT, I was a mom. I had to put on a very strong front. If men were "afraid" of, or intimidated by that, well...oh well! The only men I ended up dating were ALSO rather strong willed. I can't stand a wimpy man, so they had to be stronger than me. Which of course means they often ended up being a little bullheaded as well. Makes for some battles and I try hard to not take over, but sometimes my nature creeps up and I do it anyway. (I also struggle with not "leading" when I dance with a man. ROTFL!!!!)
So, anyway, back to the point. If your "BS Meter" is set to very low, great! It does count a lot of guys out, but they're guys you'd not want to waste time on anyway.
HAHAA...well, you know what they call assertive women, right? It's all relative. I can't do that being quiet and docile either. It's miserable and no fun, but it's what some men seemed to expect.
The first time I talked to Trav I was SO skeptical, and I was my unabashed self and...it was fine. He loved it and we talked for 4 hours. He can't handle the "silent/docile" type...drives him crazy. He says that in his experience it's a cover up for not being able to carry on an intelligent conversation. Of course his IQ is about 200, so it can be a challenge.
I'm not overbearing and I'm sure you're not either. However, if some guy feeds me a line of bull I'm going to laugh. I can't help it. I just don't buy into that kind of thing. It might work on someone else...evidently it does. I do understand on the age thing. I couldn't date someone who "seemed" my father's age, the grey hair etc... Now, I suppose I'll "grow into it" with someone and it'll be ok. I do know a few 50 year olds that don't seem that age though, and I'd date them.
And I hear you on the "where they are in life" thing too. As a matter of fact, most of the 30-something year olds I met and dated were not "where I am" yet and that turned me off big time, since I'm "starting over"!
*sigh*...but even for me there was someone. So there's someone for you too...I'm sure. And you're chou kawaii!!! Some guy will fall hard. ;)
I always thought I'd rather date a widower. Someone who loved being married. They are hard to find, but they don't have the bitterness about divorce that some men do. Trav has dated around a lot, but he was married once,very happily, for 6 years as well, and never divorced.
I met my SO online in an Alaska Chat room on yahoo. We talked for about 3 weeks and finally felt it was time for us to meet. And we hit it off. We were both divorced with children, so we were both alittle hesitant in meeting. But we did, and we are both sooooo happy. We actually started going on dates the very next day. We have been together for 16months now. His children live w/their mom in St. Louis, and mine live w/me (i have full custody). My SO, spends more time w/my kids more than their own dad does. He is involved in their sport and etc too. It's great. We are not going to live together until we are at least engaged, something we both have talked about, and wanting to do right by all of the kids.
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What a revelation for all of us - and so so so true for me!!
THANKS! And good morning to you :-)
I think you know my story with Trav. We met through an online ad and went from that to talking on the phone for hours at a time. We didn't meet till 2 months into it. I knew from talking to him that with him it would be for real or I'd better not go there at all. After a couple more months of dating around I committed to being exclusively seeing him. Now it's still "getting to know each other" and will take time as he is overseas a lot.
Online is good for the initial meeting I think, if you bring it into the real world relatively quickly.
Mandy, I think the whole issue of "having time to date" is solved when you meet the man who is worth making the time for, don't you? I mean, doesn't it cease to be a stress, and instead become a joy to see them? I know some would argue "How're you going to meet "Mr. Right" if you don't date?" but really, I don't think you have to be actively dating around to meet someone.
Can I just say, I think you are VERY self aware and do just fine. You know the relationship you are in right now isn't really filling all of your needs, but it serves a
you're a very mature woman, no matter your age. You know what you want, you're smart, have a career, don't take BS. That's going to count a lot of guys out.
Too true. Too true.
Here's what I was told over and over...That I was INTIMIDATING to men. Huh? Me??? I felt SOOO insecure most of the time. BUT, I was a mom. I had to put on a very strong front. If men were "afraid" of, or intimidated by that, well...oh well! The only men I ended up dating were ALSO rather strong willed. I can't stand a wimpy man, so they had to be stronger than me. Which of course means they often ended up being a little bullheaded as well. Makes for some battles and I try hard to not take over, but sometimes my nature creeps up and I do it anyway. (I also struggle with not "leading" when I dance with a man. ROTFL!!!!)
So, anyway, back to the point. If your "BS Meter" is set to very low, great! It does count a lot of guys out, but they're guys you'd not want to waste time on anyway.
Candi, so strong personality... is that a euphemism for overbearing?
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The first time I talked to Trav I was SO skeptical, and I was my unabashed self and...it was fine. He loved it and we talked for 4 hours. He can't handle the "silent/docile" type...drives him crazy. He says that in his experience it's a cover up for not being able to carry on an intelligent conversation. Of course his IQ is about 200, so it can be a challenge.
I'm not overbearing and I'm sure you're not either. However, if some guy feeds me a line of bull I'm going to laugh. I can't help it. I just don't buy into that kind of thing. It might work on someone else...evidently it does. I do understand on the age thing. I couldn't date someone who "seemed" my father's age, the grey hair etc... Now, I suppose I'll "grow into it" with someone and it'll be ok. I do know a few 50 year olds that don't seem that age though, and I'd date them.
And I hear you on the "where they are in life" thing too. As a matter of fact, most of the 30-something year olds I met and dated were not "where I am" yet and that turned me off big time, since I'm "starting over"!
*sigh*...but even for me there was someone. So there's someone for you too...I'm sure. And you're chou kawaii!!! Some guy will fall hard. ;)
I always thought I'd rather date a widower. Someone who loved being married. They are hard to find, but they don't have the bitterness about divorce that some men do. Trav has dated around a lot, but he was married once,very happily, for 6 years as well, and never divorced.
Good Luck.
Keep your chin up :-)
Take care
June :-)
Hehehehe Candi... I'd forgotten you're taking Japanese.
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