The OLD Experiment
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The OLD Experiment
| Mon, 04-09-2007 - 9:37pm |
Ok girls, I thought I'd give it another try....
I have signed up for Lavalife to the dating/ relationship areas- not even going to COMMENT on the "Intimate Encounters" area LOL!


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I always figured that if they were bright enough to read between the lines, I'd chat with them and see where it went. It never went all that far- but then funnyguy found me, so all is well.
I had a great time with Match, usually, but part of the reason my experience was so good was because of how much it taught me about myself and what I want from a man.
Without having gone through the past couple of years, and especially the last six months with dead end guys, I know I wouldn't have been ready for funnyguy.
Moody, a Match cheerleader
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I wouldn't dismiss someone because they don't have a pic up--But, after communication starts they should be willing to e-mail you a picture--to a safe e-mail address. (This has happened to me several times and they have all been very nice looking. It's been explained to me that they want to be the one who initiate communication. I think they don't want to be chased.
A further point--I've only had luck w/ men who have initiated contact w/me. (?) I think it has to do with the pursuing. So, if you see someone you like, you might hang back a little to see if they contact you 1st. (But, I'd love to be wrong about this....)
Alright Alison, since you are being adventurous, I thought I might try the same with the fitness singles site. They always have an ad on the sports forum I participate and Shrimps recently mentioned it.... so I turned my profile back on. UGH. I had to take a big dose of anti-nausea medicine so I could do it. HAHAHA!!
There is a rather hot guy who is 12 years younger - he is the president of a race company here - and I have done a few of his races. He has that he wants kids in his profile and I am sure that there are more than enough hotties his own age to amuse him - but since he could be a good connection for my sport I am chatting very lightly with him.
There is another hottie who is a swimsuit model but he is 15 years younger and lives in another state. I politely said I thought he was hot and wished he was here. He persisted that he comes here to model. Delete. Whatever. I am not looking for a hot swimsuit model in another state.
Then there is a guy who just wants to IM. That annoys me so I turned him off - he lives too far away anyway - more than an hour and only if the traffic is good. BLOCK.
Then there is a weight lifting guy who is cute and my height and he sent one of those "your profile is interesting what do you think about mine?" - and to that I responded a hello and how is your training going - he is working on lifting 500 pounds. But all he does is email some stuff about himself and then say he wants to meet. I didn't respond. I mean, I at least want a guy who will ask me ONE question about me. Plus he lacks spelling skills, and lives too far away. It is just too many things I don't like and no real connection in what we say or do. Delete!
There are more - whom I deleted for other reasons. One was a smoker. Another lives 4 hours away.
Most of the ones in my area are either: 1) too young 2) way too old 3) the wrong ethnic background 4) too short 5) something else.
But there are quite a few from all over the country who are my age and who would be just perfect. So that means if there are some then there are more! Right? And this whole thing can be an amusement for me to post here. I mean, the twiddling the thumbs and amusement factor while I wait for someone good to come along (maybe the Detective?) has to be worth the price of admission.
So I will keep you posted for as long as I can bear to keep the profile turned on!! LOL!
Edited: and yes I do have pix - one by a photo company that is rather dressed up and glamorous, a shot of me running (it is a fitness site, right?) in one of my races, some travel photos that were flattering and a pic of me riding my racing bike in my bathing suit - it was for a race and it is a hot one - I am such a devil - you should see what I put in the caption "I just love riding outdoors!" LOL
Edited 4/10/2007 11:03 pm ET by cl-west1745
I'm in stitches- "I love love riding outdoors!" HAHAHAHAHHA
Good for both of you! And, Judy, you're right, if nothing comes of it but a few laughs, that's all right. But you simply never know. How cool would it be if the detective joined that site and found you there???
I personally am pro-OLD, but I do get that it isn't for everyone. However, dating isn't for the meek or faint of heart, as we all know, and in order to reap rewards, you must take risks.
Brava, ladies, and keep us posted!
Moody, too excited to sleep
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LOL! I can't believe I got you started again!
Ok- so today I SWEAR I saw a guy that sent me a smile yesterday.
Alright Tina (and Rebecca), since you are the goddesses of OLD here...
What the HECK do you chat about on the first contact?
I think the first contact can really be an eye-opener. If the two of you find it easy to find things to chat, email, IM and talk about right away, it's a fair bet you'll like each other's personalities. If you're too busy thinking about having something to say, it's a fair bet it won't go anywhere.
This isn't always true, of course, but in my experience, the less weird, awkward and strained the first conversation is, the easier conversation will always be. Naturally some people are better at conversing than others, or are good in certain forms but not in others, but it does give you a good starting point if it all seems to flow easily.
The first few times you email or IM with someone, pay attention to the questions they ask. Are they asking about you, only giving info about themselves, do you want the same things? One of the things I always asked when using OLD was what type of relationship the person was looking for- right now, and long term. There were times when I just wanted to date casually, so someone looking for marriage would have been wasting his time with me. Other times I wanted something serious, so someone looking for a casual activities partner would not have been right for me.
You talk in generalities unless asked for more- what type of job, but not where, your child's age and sex but no name or other personal details, how long you've been single but not how nasty or easy the breakup was. That sort of thing. Again, look for clues about sense of humor- is his compatible with yours? Lifestyle- are you on the same page, or not even reading from the same book.
I would caution against chatting, emailing, and IMing for too long- if you're clicking, great, but keep the conversations fairly brief, and if you like a man in the electronic forum, yet he doesn't initiate a meeting within a couple of weeks, he should probably be NEXTed. Men who are into you and looking for a real date will ask for one fairly quickly. On the other hand, if he talks about himself for ten minutes then asks if you want to meet for coffee, be aware that he's probably going to be pushy and selfish and may be dangerous. NEXT him, and block him from contacting you again.
Obviously you know to make it known that you're a mother, I also bring up what I do for a living, where I live (in general), pets, just general small talk stuff. It's fairly easy for me to make conversation, but if I feel it's strained, I usually don't feel a need to continue contacting anyone. Why waste my time, or his?
Good luck to both of you, and I'm sure R (and everyone) will have other great ideas for you!
Moody, excited to come back and see the updates
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Queen ha? lol
About not having the mom part down ... any reason?
Update this am-
One smile from a guy with no pic, 38, nothing outstanding in his "bio" so I deleted him.
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