The OLD Experiment

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
The OLD Experiment
33
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 9:37pm

Ok girls, I thought I'd give it another try....


I have signed up for Lavalife to the dating/ relationship areas- not even going to COMMENT on the "Intimate Encounters" area LOL!


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Wed, 04-11-2007 - 12:39pm

Wow your OLD is pretty active. I hate paying for it since most of the chats go nowhere (in 6 months I have gotten one actual face-to-face). I still get e-mails and got one from someone I thought was interesting. I sent one of the auto-responses back and he responded again but I guess didn't get that that was all I could do. Oh well.

I like hearing about others advantures. Maybe I will dip back in at some point.

Priscilla

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 04-11-2007 - 1:04pm

I think you are doing good. But I am ready to wring your neck!! Okay - you got me going on this and the younger guy and I are emailing each other quite well. I wanted your opinion and everyone else's:

There is a guy on fitness-singles who has contacted me. He is cute and is actually a partner in one of the companies that puts on races in my state.

At first I said, "why not" to write him back - he is 12 years younger than me. He is cute and fit and seems mature and nice - I mean having a business is quite good and settled.

And it is hard to find someone fit in my age group - not easy. I am actually MORE fit than this one - LOL!!

But would you go younger like this? What are your thoughts on the matter? I suppose it can't kill me to keep emailing and talking - but it is apparent from our emails so far that we have sort of hit it off. He totally admires me and my ability.

He does have "could want a kid somewhere in the future" in his profile - I wonder if that means he would want a ready-made version? Because I am 45. Adoption would be my only likely option. Maybe I will work those things into the conversation? My profile does show I am divorced with a kid that lives at home but we all know how well men like to read the profiles instead of just looking at the pix!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Wed, 04-11-2007 - 2:16pm

I am sooo enjoying this thread. Have fun.

I really think you should mention in your profile that you have a kid and the approximate age, like preschool, school age, teen. Nothing specific, not even gender, just a heads up to guys who don't want to be involved with someone with kids, or just with kids around your son's age. I had a lot of guys drop the whole thing as soon as they found out my daughter is so young. My teenage sons were no problem, they'll be grown and on their own soon. You will probably stop getting responses from the over 45 crowd.

Totally understand the clothing thing. I too revamped my look after my divorce. I figure, if I still got it at my age, I might as well flaunt it. But 3-month fling guy would have been more comfortable if I'd been dressed more casually after the first few dates. M now asks me exactly what I am planning on wearing when we are going to do something so he doesn't feel too dressed down. Guys just don't like to dress up, and I LIKE that after my way too concerned with appearances X. He had more shoes than I did-seriously. There is something very sexy about M in his ratty robe and beat up Uggs out on his back patio having a cup of coffee, hair a mess, needing a shave, totally relaxed. But for a first meet, the guy should want to look his best.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Wed, 04-11-2007 - 2:20pm

I am sooo enjoying this thread. Have fun.

I really think you should mention in your profile that you have a kid and the approximate age, like preschool, school age, teen. Nothing specific, not even gender, just a heads up to guys who don't want to be involved with someone with kids, or just with kids around your son's age. I had a lot of guys drop the whole thing as soon as they found out my daughter is so young. My teenage sons were no problem, they'll be grown and on their own soon. You will probably stop getting responses from the over 45 crowd.

Totally understand the clothing thing. I too revamped my look after my divorce. I figure, if I still got it at my age, I might as well flaunt it. But 3-month fling guy would have been more comfortable if I'd been dressed more casually after the first few dates. M now asks me exactly what I am planning on wearing when we are going to do something so he doesn't feel too dressed down. Guys just don't like to dress up, and I LIKE that after my way too concerned with appearances X. He had more shoes than I did-seriously. There is something very sexy about M in his ratty robe and beat up Uggs out on his back patio having a cup of coffee, hair a mess, needing a shave, totally relaxed. But for a first meet, the guy should want to look his best.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Wed, 04-11-2007 - 2:28pm

OK, my message to Alison posted twice, don't know why, how do I delete the second one?

Anyway, have fun with younger guys. Let's face it, most guys our age are slowing down, not in shape, can't keep up with the woman's libido. There are exceptions (Rlch's Lawn Boy for example) but you KNOW what I am talking about. I know the whole wanting kids thing could be a big problem since you aren't interested in just dating anymore. But guys sometimes mark that check box because they are open to the idea, realizing most women want kids. They are OK either having kids of their own or not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 04-11-2007 - 3:00pm

Okay QB - not sure how to erase the message - I can ask the powers that be.

I thought that your message to her might have been to me, so I just responded to his email and included a bit about my son:

"So far my training has been going well. I have a new coach and he has done great things with me this year. I am looking forward to the race in Disney - am taking my son who is 11 and going up with some good friends."

That way I am sure he knows I have a kid. I don't want to assume he knows because it is buried somewhere in the profile.

He is 33 - which is 12 years younger than me - that is the only reason the wanting a kid thing concerns me. I am sure we can work that into the conversation too at some point.

I don't mind casual dating at all - in this profile I put that I was looking for fun activity partners for my training and also for eating to fuel all my training. It was a simple and upbeat profile if I do say so myself. But I don't want mindless aimless dating where we are clearly not compatible for the long term. And the kid thing is really one of those things you cannot change.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 04-11-2007 - 4:28pm

Well, I don't think we are going to go forward much more from here. I had sent my most recent note to him where I put in the blurb about my son and had also asked him if he gets to travel to those neat places for his races. He said that he travels to all of them but then he said he hopes to meet me one day. That to me is sort of like - okay been nice chatting maybe I will see you again sometime. Which is okay - whatever.

Then I got a note from someone separated who lives too far away.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Wed, 04-11-2007 - 11:10pm

I got mail!!!


The guy's pic was a bit grainy but it seems like he's got a great smile...


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 9:06pm

I haven't read ahead, and if I know the ladies on this board, you probably got mixed reactions.

I say, go for it!! If he's compatible in every other way, and you're into each other, is it fair to yourselves to rule each other out only because of an age gap?

By the way, I frequently date men who are several years older than I am. funnyguy is 9 years older than me, exactly. We share a birthday.

So, if I found someone I was compatible with, and our similarities were such that I didn't notice the age gap, I'd definitely go for a younger guy. Finding one who is on the same wavelength is difficult, but when you do- go, go, go!!!

Moody, waving the green flag


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 10:13am

Update for this morning...


One smile from a 36 yr old guy who's pic shows him standing beside his corvette- the same corvette he mentions about SIX times in his profile.


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