Older guy younger woman?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Older guy younger woman?
20
Fri, 04-04-2008 - 8:35am

My question is why? What do older guys see in younger women, beside the obvious (arm candy). It seems I attract older guys. I dont know why.


Why would one want to have a relationship with a person 10 or 20 years younger? Dont they worry that they are in a different phase of life and that could cause issues later? I dont get it.


Guys if youre here this would be a good one to answer.


Thanks


Laurie (the newbie)

anonymous

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Fri, 04-04-2008 - 5:01pm

Mark, wow its a lot of reading. But I will read it. I have to head out now because I actually have a date. That is if you can call it a date if you are out with your best friend who is a single guy. Sort of a date. Will read up on your story tonight.

Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 04-04-2008 - 5:22pm

I agree, too. And this is a challenge for all of us - the younger woman I know have a lot of single guys in their pond but the stable and mature and monogamous part is what eliminates most - while the older women have much fewer choices.

I don't think age difference matters much as long as both people are okay with it - life stages are important to consider.

I do know guys who are older and in better shape than most younger guys. But I also know younger guys who are fun and very mature. So I think it is the person that matters. I think most people have more of an open mind about age nowadays.

There is an interesting board here called May to December - and it is about age gap relationships and has interesting threads on occasion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Fri, 04-04-2008 - 10:16pm

Hi Mark,

I just got home from my pseudo date with my friend and read your stories. I feel for you dude.

Ironically the same thing happened with me and my friend B. I met him last Feb online on Fitnesssingles.com. We are both runners. I more than him. Anyhow we hit it off great in March. He is a very slow mover and we didnt get close physically until Jun. But that lasted only a while. I think it scared him. He is very religious. So we backed off since Jun and have been dating as friends since then. He stayed my friend the whole time.

I know how you feel. Its so hard to back off from what you want and view it from a different angle. But I stay friends with B and admire and love him from a far. I never had the nerve to tell him how I really feel. That might have something to do with his detachment but I don't want to scare him away. We are good friends and I enjoy his company.

I tried the match.com thing and only met head game players. A game I was never very good at. So I got off of there in a hurry. Actually fitnesssingles worked well for me. Met lots of good people on it. But there are very few men on it and hardly any new ones joining. But so far I am happy with the ones I met.

I wish you luck in your search for that special woman. I am certain you will find a wonderful one. You seem like a unique person. Its nice to have a guys input on these boards.

Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2007
Sat, 04-05-2008 - 1:36am

I'm in a now 2+ yr relationship with a man 17 yrs older than I am. Basically, what makes it work for us is the mental similarites. We work in the same field, have kids the same age, and have great discussions (sometimes

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 04-05-2008 - 3:30am
My attraction to Cute Newly Divorced Gal took me off guard and by surprise for I was not physically attracted to her initially but as I got to know her more and more then my connection grew richer and deeper. She became my soul friend. I never liked to use that term "soul mate" and she is not a mate but more a friend though I wished it was more. She is 41 and I'm 54.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Sat, 04-05-2008 - 7:02am

Thats means there is something there more than physical attraction. Maybe someday she will be ready for more. Do you think?

My attraction for B was a surprise too but for a different reason. We chatted online and I was not attracted to his picture. I thought he was a nice guy but and that was about it. So I agreed to meet for a run thinking that would be it...one meeting. Once I saw him in person I was immediately attracted to him. Much better looking in person. And his personality was just like he was online, polite and nice. Thats the problem with online dating. Pictures can be so deceiving and personalities can hide behind polite chat. You never really know what youre going to get until you meet in person.

Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Sat, 04-05-2008 - 9:08pm

Nasty stares? Really? Thats awful. Any rude comments?

Dont get me wrong. I am NOT being judgmental about others. I could not really care less. I was just wondering what older guys see in younger women and what they see in me.

Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 5:18pm
Your post made me so happy. I'm 26 my fabulous bf is 45. I am divorced with one child, he is divorced with no kids. We've been together for almost 2 years now and there are so many people who can't figure out why we are together. There are a couple girls I work with that both like to date older men as well, and we've all agreed that older men are where it's at, lol. He is good to me, mature, respectful, he opens doors for me, knows what I like at restaurants, he's very funny and charming. We have the same sense of humor, enjoy the same free time activities and generally get along great. He has a good job and is responsible, something I just could not find in a man my age (trust me, I've looked) and he is also accepting of the fact that I have a child, something else I had a really hard time with when it comes to men my age. I'm dating an older man and I LOVE it!
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Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 12-27-2010 - 8:55pm

Check out the iVillage response HERE.

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