OMG - I am SO upset

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
OMG - I am SO upset
28
Fri, 02-08-2008 - 7:12pm

*** I updated at the end of this thread - please read ***


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 11:57am

well unfortunately he called last night and I'd had a few glasses of wine and well you can imagine where this went - no where good to say the least.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 12:41pm

Actually - I let my Match acct expire like TWO months ago. Apparently my profile stays up ... weird. AND yes! People do email me AND wink at me ... & if i try to look, it tells me to pay & i can see/read them. So really, its very odd. But he coudl totally have been telling the truth.


If you think the relationship is worth it, I would come clean (VERY hard, i know!)

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 1:35pm

I agree that Match can "forget" to remove your profile.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 1:50pm

Honest, authentic relationships where we are vulnerable with each other is so very hard. I believe in being compassionately honest and truthful with all our relationships.

What I see is that if you want to be totally honest with him then you could have told him that you were insecure about your relationship with him and even though you don't like to admit it, that you were checking up on him.

I believe in order to get what we want (e.g. honesty, love, vulnerability, etc.) we need to be that ourselves.

The baggage we all have is something we can either own it, deal with it, and heal it or put it on the other people in our lives.

I believe all relationships we have in our lives are our Practice. I believe I cannot learn to be intimate in a vacuum. I believe I cannot learn to trust if I was by myself. I need to do that with other people.

Mark





May your soul be at rest.


May your heart remain open.


May you realize your own true nature.


May you be healed.


May you be a source of healing for the world. - a zen prayer






iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 2:11pm

Mark,


I just want to thank you for your advice.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 2:43pm

Here is the deal on match.com regarding what Rebecca wrote and what I know:


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 3:12pm

Wouldn't he have had to log in to show as "active"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 3:21pm

I think you could make up a free fake ID, and test all the procedural questions here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 3:29pm

It sounds like you had other issues with him besides the online thing.

There are plenty of fish in the sea so when things calm down after this you can always go back to sea.....

Sorry you had to go through this - but it sounds like it could be good you got this off your chest and got an answer from him.

He would NOT have gotten a wink if he did not have his profile still up. What service was this on? I know on some sites you can hide your profile from everyone but on others if it is hidden and you wink at them or send a message to them they can still see you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 3:34pm

I haven't been on match in about 3 yrs, so things might've changed... but when I was there before- you had to create a profile (and log-in)

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<