OMG - I am SO upset
Find a Conversation
OMG - I am SO upset
| Fri, 02-08-2008 - 7:12pm |
*** I updated at the end of this thread - please read ***
| Fri, 02-08-2008 - 7:12pm |
*** I updated at the end of this thread - please read ***
Pages
Profiles can be:
- hidden or showing
- if showing and they log in - then it does show active within 24 hours or whenever they were last on
- a subscription allows anyone with a showing or hidden profile to contact other people or to reply to a message that was sent
So, he could have had it showing and then logged in and it shows active. None of this tells you if he was writing to others or if he had a paid subscription.
This is a lesson for next time - to bring up the subject of the profile and intentions. And yes 20 somethings, 30 somethings, 40 somethings and 50 somethings are all subject to this behavior. You have to clearly bring up the subject of exclusivity and cannot assume it. If a guy is not that sure or not that into you it is not uncommon for him to string you along for the companionship or the sex - it stinks - but that is the way it is - caveat emptor in the dating world, particularly the online dating world.
Sorry you had to go through all of this - but not all men are that way. There are plenty who would give anything to be in a monogamous situation with their dream girl and they would not dream of doing anything like this.
Shrimps, I think it may have become more sophisticated since you've been happily off the market.
Ok - so I went on Match to see if I could still log in and I can and all my pictures are still there. (I am not a paid member and my profile is and has been down for a long time).
I caution you to make up stories about him for I do the same about people in my life. When you say “But if he doesn't care enough about me to even call back or send an email then I'm apparently not very important to him at all,” then that’s a story you have made up based on your experience not his. He may have an entirely different view on how he “cares about you” and how he shows that.
We judge people by their actions and we judge ourselves by our intent. I love about my relationship with CNDG is that she assumes good intention and when she does not understand an action by me then she checks it out with me. I do the same with her, i.e. I assume good intent and know that I sometimes make up stories in my head on who she is based on what I *perceive* who she is or on what she does. I KNOW they are MY stories and not the truth.
I value that I can share those stories with her and reassure myself that they are not true.
Mark
May your soul be at rest.
May your heart remain open.
May you realize your own true nature.
May you be healed.
May you be a source of healing for the world. - a zen prayer
"I caution you to make up stories about him for I do the same about people in my life. When you say “But if he doesn't care enough about me to even call back or send an email then I'm apparently not very important to him at all,” then that’s a story you have made up based on your experience not his. He may have an entirely different view on how he “cares about you” and how he shows that. "
EXCELLENT post Mark!
Lisa,
I went through the same thing almost exactly with my last bf.
Best of luck.
Janet
Pages