OMG I'm freaking out!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
OMG I'm freaking out!
10
Sun, 04-27-2008 - 8:50am

As you know EG bought me a ring and it's going to be here soon.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Sun, 04-27-2008 - 10:46am

Okay from my past weeks experience on RING related issues..I have thought a lot and learnt a lot.


Yes ring will represent something. But important thing here is what you want. Do you want to get engaged or maried? If not you should not take the ring.


Where I come from engagement is a commitment to get married. If not you dont need a ring to represent anything. Engagement also means having a time or date chosen to get married. Others may have different opinion. If you are enjoying what you have now and dont want anything more, I would mildly tell him that he should keep the ring and propose when the time is right.


Is it just a ring or is it an engagement ring? You could always wear it on a different finger and then it will be just a gift. Is that what he means? If it is a gift could he give you soem other kind of gift?


Sorry I cant remembr how long have you been dating?


I am sure you know my story..lol.. So in my case I know that Biker has ordered the ring and he will plan a prposal (hopefully romantic..- One day

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 04-27-2008 - 11:24am

I don't know - that would make me freak out too so I am of no help.

It does sound like he is very into you and the two of you have a lot in common and have a good time when together. Perhaps you just have to discuss what does this mean?

One of the things I read, that I would look for in a person now - both for dating and a relationship - is the way your conversation goes. Is he critical? A stonewaller? Contemptful? Because those are signs of poor relationship skills. If he is positive and accepting of you as a person - then I think you can work pretty much anything out.

It is exciting that you have a ring and I think this is one more step towards a positive relationship that grows and thrives - I have a good feeling from all you have written.

Hope that helps! Good luck and keep us posted!

Maybe you can say - do you have any fears about getting married again? And discuss them each of you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sun, 04-27-2008 - 12:10pm

What is the ring to symbolize?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Sun, 04-27-2008 - 12:20pm

I know how you feel about the dating part or chase being over and not wanting things to change.... so how about i share some of your freaky feelings..lol. I'm not there yet so i don't know.... but if you two have always been able to talk .... then talking about this too will bring you closer together. I always bring that kinda conversation up like... "hey can I ask you something....."


I find it always scary as things grow and change.... one day at a time.. I'm

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Mon, 04-28-2008 - 2:31pm

I understand!


I would talk to him but not in a negative or fearful way. I would just open up a dialog about what the ring means to each of you. You can be open and appreciative of his committment to you and happy- and still you can talk about any fears you might have. A heart to heart never hurts. I am sure that he wants you to be happy and he is obviously very committted to you. Enjoy this time and phase- and take the opportunity to talk about your path together!

~Pacific~
~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 9:48am

Thank you all for the support.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 10:52am

Honey, are you nervous about him or the loss of freedom?


Just because he asks doesn't mean you have to say yes.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 11:01am

But you two generally do well on a trip, right?

Write down your questions and worries and then see if they are worries or real concerns. I don't see anything wrong with talking to him about the real ones.

Take your time! This should be fun. Although I TOTALLY understand, after going through a bad marriage and then being your own boss, how the relinquishment of freedom and independence could be so hard.

Also, look around you and study the good relationships. Believe that you are capable of one with the right person. The people I see in happy marriages are totally oblivious to our world and concerns here. So that could be you!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 12:07pm

I'm just going to go with it and not worry about all that I'm worrying about.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Tue, 04-29-2008 - 12:30pm

((((HUGE HUGS))))...can't tell you not to worry or stress cus we tend to do that anyway....Just go with it. My only other thing is TALK to him about your fears, etc....Good and HONEST communication is a HUGE factor for a successful relationship! JMO...


(((((((HUGS))))))

~~Tiny


I want

~Karen
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