OMG Valentines piggycakes

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
OMG Valentines piggycakes
37
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 9:49pm
OK i Know I am posting a lot but I just knew you guys would cheer me when you saw I DID IT - I made the piggycakes. It was so good to do something silly. We were hysterical laughing after we put the first one together.
Happy Valentines to everyone!
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Sat, 02-16-2008 - 4:32pm
More for us to have in common then. Its funny though because even though a lot of these Moms in my class have their lives on a silver platter, I almost always hear them just complaining about their nanny not doing something right or the au pair not getting there the week they wanted or the beach house not renovated on their time schedule or their husbands not helping with a dinner party they had to handle BLAH BLAH BLAH. I kind of wonder where they totally lost themselves. I swear if I had a nanny and an au pair and a husband with a near 6- 7 figure salary and a beach house I would be worried about the young artists concert series I have been dying to start, the music/arts school I want to run for kids with autism, and the gay convalescence home I will need to invent for my Dad so he can be a gay bird in his twilight years. Ok maybe not that last one but you get the drift. AND I would be still raising my child exactly the same as I am today. Its nice to think that that part wouldnt change a bit...
Frankly it became very clear to me as I entered the school with my kid that I could either join the bitter divorcees club ( oh yes, there is one but it is small and kind of negative) or attempt to integrate myself with the rich crowd. I dont really fit in either. I dont like to talk trash about my ex on a daily or even weekly basis. I dont want to get into that kind of negativity when I need things to be positive to stay energized and raise my DS and forward my career for both of us. I also dont want to even pretend or participate in the thought that men are pigs because even before I met bf I HAD to believe he existed to recognize him when he finally came along. And the rich crowd - well I dont throw dinner parties much. I do get my friends to THROW dinner parties when I am preparing a piece to perform somewhere big so I can try it out and get a handle on my nerves. But that isnt about being rich and so I still dont seem to have enough in common with them. My clothes arent designer enough and my kid isnt either - oh and I have a HUGE dog they all look at like I am crazy or something. I would rather have tea with my dog than with them though I think:) One of them recently asked me if I could be auctioned ( yes, you read that right) at the school auction so that I would play at someone's house or teach a violin lesson to a kid. I wasnt even sure how to respond so I wrote her back and told her that my current fee for appearance on stage started at 5000 and gave her the name of my manager and that I taught violin by audition only and at 100 dollars an hour. I suggested I look for something else for them to auction. All of that managerial career stuff is true of course but I am sure it took her by surprise. Just because I drop my kid off in sweats doesnt mean I dont have a closet full of evening gowns! I havent given up the idea that I might be accepted by some of these moms at school but with my luck it will only happen in the last year we are there. I just have given up thinking that if I play charades or pretend to be something I am not that it will help. I just have to be me and keep my head up I guess.
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 4:19pm

Me, too. I've been kinda sad over this lately. She has all the love of a two parent family and she feels secure- but it is the stigma and status I worry she will be labled. She is almost in 6th grade and it only gets worse. The right clothes- the right neighborhood- the right afterschool activites- things that are hard for a single mom to provide.


So often I feel like I am failing my bright, gifted girl. We were told early on that she was off the charts smart and she is abstract in thinking and has this crazy brilliant science mind. I worry because I work a lot and I don't have the money or resources to enroll her in all the things that probably would launch her.


I just don't want to hold her back :o(


~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 6:25pm

Pac, I bet you could find other moms to carpool with you if there was a program you really wanted her to attend.

I have had the good fortune, since I work from home, to mingle with a lot of the SAHM married moms on my son's volleyball team, recently.

What I have found is that most of them are very harried with having to take 2 or 3 or 4 kids all over the place to umpteen activities each day. And so they are happy to carpool to most things - and we have been doing that more from their requests and even taking kids here after school. I bet they would take them there and you could pick up on your way home from work.

One thing is funny to me. Although I would love to be happily married, I do not at all feel something is wrong with me because I am not - although it was not always this way. I feel very hip and fit and happy as a single and feel lucky - maybe because I am lucky enough to do all of my training and make my own decisions on a lot of things. So I sort of feel they look up to me!! LOL!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 6:47pm

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 6:49pm

We were told early on that she was off the charts smart and she is abstract in thinking and has this crazy brilliant science mind. I worry because I work a lot and I don't have the money or resources to enroll her in all the things that probably would launch her.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 6:55pm

Thanks for the encouragement :o)


You have been a ray of sunshine for me today. First with your post on the "things you never thought you would do" thread and now here.

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 8:29pm
I really relate to all of the challenges we face with talented kids and not enough funds or time to nourish them. Keep in mind though that if you are active in different circles ( school, church, family, charities, meetup, etc) you will run into people who do have time and the heart to help if they see need. I have many times given all sorts of effort and time to talented children who lacked funds and resources as far as violin goes. I have gone out of my way when need presents itself - but it presented itself. So be present. Ask the school what they have in way of after school activities. Whatever your daughter is interested in, look for organizations in your area that help youth and sponsor them or even have them intern somewhere when they are older. Over here I have my son in music lessons using family members and my ex has contacts at a Martial Arts studio so we get his tuition free there as well. I am also thinking of enrolling him in theatre after school as well as the chess club that happens during lunch. The more circles you are in, the more people might step forward and help if needed. Just be present!! And have faith that if you have a need for someone to help her or you to in turn help her, someone will step forward. I learned this lesson a few years ago when a VERY talented kid with aspergers came to me for an audition to take violin lessons. He is brilliant and had just been swindled at a local violin shop buying a new violin and on top of that they guilted the parents who dont have much money into thinking they STILL werent doing enough for him. I was furious for them. I had just met them for an audition in my studio and wasnt even certain they would study with me but I called a violin maker I know who is fantastic and commissioned him to build the kid a concert violin. The first modern violin of its size to fit him. I was prepared to pay for it myself somehow having been through many years without a proper instrument. The violin maker asked to meet him and hear him play so I took him over and he was kind of in awe. I had to leave before the boy and his parents did but as soon as I got to my car, the violin maker called me and said " Dont pay me a cent. I'll do this for free." The boy got to pick out the wood and varnish and watch the whole thing happen over the next nine months. I made sure the press knew and got the violin maker publicity and have sent everyone to him since. The violin, done for free, is estimated at $20,000 but I think that is a low ball since there isnt another one out there. The parents are paying a nominal fee to insure it. Since this happened I have had 10 students buy violins from him - so the violin maker has earned 120,000 back. There have been a lot of full circle moments in this and every week I get to watch him play a violin he would have never had had they not presented the need to me when they did. I just happened to be able to help them but the thing I learned most from this was to ask people to do the right thing. I didnt have to offer to pay the violin maker - all I had to do was present th boy to him and he knew what to do. So often the world tries to manipulate people into doing what is right or good. It is inside all of us if we are given a chance I think. So have faith - there are plenty of wonderful generous people out there to help your girl!!
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 8:47pm

"I made sure the press knew and got the violin maker publicity and have sent everyone to him since."


That was a great gesture in itself to get him that publicity!


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 9:00pm

I don't have the money or resources to enroll her in all the things that probably would launch her


Let me give you a Free Pass from that particular guilt trip.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Tue, 02-19-2008 - 12:06pm

Thank goodness we have free Magnet schools here for children that are special. Otherwise, Alex would be missing out too.


I don't know anything about Magnet schools, but at least Sierra was tested and put into the GATE program in her school. I know that at least her brain is being excersized and she is able to use this program to think outside the box.


Boy do I know about appartment living and No playdates. I could..but it feels strange because no backyard and no big areas like the others in her class have. So I wait for her to be invited to others...but sadly that's not happening either and I'm not sure why!


~Pacific~