one of the big reasons he is ex.........

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
one of the big reasons he is ex.........
15
Wed, 07-09-2008 - 9:57pm

OVER 200 POSTS today and the day is not over - wow


ok so i feel a tad guilty writing this when my kids dad is easy by comparison to some of yours here.

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Wed, 07-09-2008 - 10:18pm

Spending money and gas for cars were HUGE motivating factors for my kids to get jobs!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 07-09-2008 - 10:23pm
I think your approach is spot on - kids have to learn that money does not grow on trees. I bet he will get better as he realizes that he cannot just have a handout - he has to earn it. Good luck!! I am glad you got your exh on board - that is very important in this case.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Wed, 07-09-2008 - 10:34pm

If you keep handing them $$$, what reason do they have to go get a job???

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 12:11am

thats my point - it is too difficult for ex to be on board if it involves depriving any of them.

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 12:55am
& most certainly, in the end - YOU are who will teach your boys to me MEN. Thank God!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 1:08am
thankyou rlch, that

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 2:12am

I have the opposite issue. My DS19 has a car that his mother gave him when he was 17 because she got tired of driving him to school. He could not take the bus because she decided to move out of the school district. She was mad at me for not paying for some of the car which she did not ask or discuss with me.

Now the Summer is half over and he just got a job that his mother found for him. He was not motivated to look because 1) she yells and pushes for him to look, 2) he has a car, 3) he has his own money (from last year's job plus money she has given him in the account).

She has sole custody and he lives with her. She is mad at him for not being motivated to look for a job (DUH) and wanted me to get on his case to do so. Of course she sets a great example of being effectively retired since DS19 was born.

So how does my DS19 learns the value of work? Guess I just pray.

Mark





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 10:11am

Tough love - it sucks sometimes, doesn't it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 10:15am

Wow, Mark.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 11:43am

My former spouse V

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