THIS one is so perfect!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
THIS one is so perfect!!!!!!!!!
23
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 6:58pm

Okay. Today I went on a 2.5 hour ride. Just around my town and into this super cool park. So, I am almost 2 hours into it and about to head home. And this cyclist pulls out of the parking lot in front of me and his headed in the same direction. He has a race shirt of a race I have done (actually one that i WON!).

So I pass him - I mean he was going REALLY slow - had just started. But then he caught up to me. And we chatted. And we chatted. He flipped out over my bike computer (it is a really nifty one) and loved it - is getting the same one. He is getting a new bike and was telling me about it. He is a great runner. Is doing one of my favorite races.

On and on. Just the nicest guy - with the same passion for the same sport.

So, we ride all around my town - I guess you could say I took the long way home!! LOL!! He has kids - can't see the hand for a ring because we wear gloves when we ride.

Turns out he is an orthopedic surgeon and specializes in athletes. So I take advantage of that to ask him about my thumb. Because I did a huge number on it - it is still VERY sore from the crash. But as I explained to him there is NO WAY I am going for an xray because I don't want a cast. I can swim, bike, run and type - and I want to do my race. He totally understood and says it is too late now for a cast - just keep doing what I am doing because it is either a broken bone that is almost healed or a skiiers tendon that is ripped that will take much longer to heal.

He was nice.

So we part ways - we know a few of the same people and will ride again. And he says he will look up my IM stats - that is exciting I am doing a whole one- he just finished a half of a one and is doing another half and wants to do a full next year.

I get home and google of course - and he is married.

But girls - this is a blueprint. A blueprint about someone the same who is easy - just a nice guy who I can be myself who is positive and fun. I don't have to explain what I do or worry he is not going to like me because I can ride more than 10 miles on a bike.

And MtEverest is calling. And the one here in the town is not calling after he said he would call first thing Monday morning and was really looking forward to talking to me and meeting me. LOL!! Just more OLD craziness.

Maybe I should ride the park route every day, right? LOL!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 7:10pm

"It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think" ...remember the Alanis Morrisette Song?


I just had to say it! That song popped right up in my head when I read your post!


I like your attitude though- this guy at least gives you hope and a refreshed sense of what could be out there!


So- Mt Everest is calling again? What's up with him?

~Pacific~
~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 7:24pm

I don't know - he left a message and I have not called back yet. It was something like, "it's been ages since I have talked to you, was wondering what is going on in your life, I am really tired - still at work - as you can hear by my voice. Give me a call back, my numbers are bla bla bla..."

He will get a call back when I have time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 7:27pm

He will get a call back when I have time.





I really like this

~Pacific~
Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 7:46pm

AWE SHUCKS! But I can relate to what you mean. C to me is the sweetest greatest guy and exactly what I want in a man and had it not been his wife passing he would have forever been faithful and a solid husband as he promised till the end. Exactly the kind of guy we would want. Therefore, unless a wife passes away, it seems the not many women are stupid enough to let a wonderful man go

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 7:55pm

Yes - I know EXACTLY what you mean - that is why half of me yelled "jackpot BINGO!" and the other half says "be careful." Keep it slow as friends and then see after a while. Get past the 3 month mark. I think it is more about time to heal and get the kids settled.

I really wish we had a widower expert - do you really need to date around - or is the first one you meet okay. I just don't have any experience, wisdom, knowledge or anything on that.

You need to do some google research I think. I will keep eyes and ears open.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 8:22pm

I actually went to another board not on ivillage today regarding only bereavement and loss. They had a forum and guess what? It was EXACLTY as split as this board. Some of them said, he had enough time, others said he didn't. Some had started dating only weeks or a few months (and are happily married again since years) because they had years to deal with it and it was almost a relief to them to move on and not see the loved one suffer. While others still need a

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2007
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 8:26pm

I really wish we had a widower expert - do you really need to date around - or is the first one you meet okay.


I really wish there was one, too... then I would know exactly what I should be doing and when... LOL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 8:43pm

precious,


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 8:49pm

Well.... (sound of all dating rolling into machine/brain).....the answer is "maybe"

Just like any other relationship - it is a crapshoot! There is never a sure thing - only things that look like a good risk versus the red-flag-communist-parade where we say no no no. The thing to ask yourself - is he worth it? And it sounds like yes.

So, gear one. And don't worry or be paranoid. Just enjoy and see where it all goes. You have a good reject button that you have been using for the other ones. And this one sounds nice. I suppose if you two are really a match and meant to be the rest of the stuff is just distractions.

How many kids does he have? How old are they?

"We talk about everything else important to us, like kids, work, what we enjoy, school and things we would like to do together."
THAT sounds good to me.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 8:49pm
I totally agree and I refrain from doing this. In what is a 3-4 hour conversation, we maybe touch base 20 minutes. I am not his healer, nor do I want to be. I do not want him to depend on leaning on me and as I said, I see no indication of that from him. I will not allow myself to be put in that place and as he said, he would like to begin new memories, not just share memories. I think he might be on a good track, but I just have to be careful to ensure it stays on the right track and now allow it to wander off track. I want something healthy, not co-dependent as Pac talked about in another thread.

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