THIS one is so perfect!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
THIS one is so perfect!!!!!!!!!
23
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 6:58pm

Okay. Today I went on a 2.5 hour ride. Just around my town and into this super cool park. So, I am almost 2 hours into it and about to head home. And this cyclist pulls out of the parking lot in front of me and his headed in the same direction. He has a race shirt of a race I have done (actually one that i WON!).

So I pass him - I mean he was going REALLY slow - had just started. But then he caught up to me. And we chatted. And we chatted. He flipped out over my bike computer (it is a really nifty one) and loved it - is getting the same one. He is getting a new bike and was telling me about it. He is a great runner. Is doing one of my favorite races.

On and on. Just the nicest guy - with the same passion for the same sport.

So, we ride all around my town - I guess you could say I took the long way home!! LOL!! He has kids - can't see the hand for a ring because we wear gloves when we ride.

Turns out he is an orthopedic surgeon and specializes in athletes. So I take advantage of that to ask him about my thumb. Because I did a huge number on it - it is still VERY sore from the crash. But as I explained to him there is NO WAY I am going for an xray because I don't want a cast. I can swim, bike, run and type - and I want to do my race. He totally understood and says it is too late now for a cast - just keep doing what I am doing because it is either a broken bone that is almost healed or a skiiers tendon that is ripped that will take much longer to heal.

He was nice.

So we part ways - we know a few of the same people and will ride again. And he says he will look up my IM stats - that is exciting I am doing a whole one- he just finished a half of a one and is doing another half and wants to do a full next year.

I get home and google of course - and he is married.

But girls - this is a blueprint. A blueprint about someone the same who is easy - just a nice guy who I can be myself who is positive and fun. I don't have to explain what I do or worry he is not going to like me because I can ride more than 10 miles on a bike.

And MtEverest is calling. And the one here in the town is not calling after he said he would call first thing Monday morning and was really looking forward to talking to me and meeting me. LOL!! Just more OLD craziness.

Maybe I should ride the park route every day, right? LOL!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 8:51pm

Thanks - your perspective and sharing of the counselor's advice does help us!

Okay Cat - so try not to worry and stay in the moment - and give everyone family space. Which you would do anyway with being so busy.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 8:52pm
He has a boy and a girl ages 5 and 3. Right after the birth of the youngest, his wife became diagnosed. So he's been a care taker for three individuals that needed constant care
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 8:57pm

OMG - I feel so sorry for the mom - can you imagine getting diagnosed with that and then knowing you have to say goodbye to 2 so very young children? That has always been my greatest fear - that I won't be here when DS needs me the most - until he is independent.

Who takes care of them now?

No wonder he feels like he wants to date and get me time - that must have been really intense for him.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 9:03pm

He has a part-time babysitter that he uses to help him 3-4 times a week. He's also going to take the children to his parents for a few days, while he goes

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 03-11-2008 - 9:09pm

That is good he is taking me time and that the parents help and that he has a sitter. I guess with her long illness a lot of the logistics are stabilized.

And it is good he is going away to have fun - that makes it easier to keep it slow.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 12:42am

Hi west,


That sucks that the great guy on the bike is married. But how did you know this by googling? Does he have a personal website?


I have another qn for you: When I read what you wrote about this guy whom you met, I was thinking that my Biker is may be exactly someone you may like..and I bet he would have loved to have someone more athletic and outdoorsy like you. Do you feel

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 8:04am

I guess my point was that I could share what I do and he was enthused instead of taken aback. He had a positive mind that was open - that was evident in all of his stories. He was explaining how his athlete patients LOVE him because he understands their obsession and does not tell them not to do it - he helps them get to their goals. One of our mutual friends had a bike crash 4 weeks out on a race and broke his scapula. He told the guy that he can do his Ironman race because it will almost be healed - but he cannot train before the race if he wants to do it. I love that he respects other people's minds and ways of thinking. (and by the way, the patient who is 73 did finish his Ironman Australia!!)

Better still we share the same obsession and lifestyle. That is exactly what I want. I fear that might be being too picky and there are various shades of grey so I am trying to keep an open mind to someone who simply has a lifestyle that will work with mine - if he likes to play golf or tennis that is great too because then he is up early to go and do that for several hours. I know I don't want a miserable couch potato who is closed minded and negative and takes away from my life - that is how my exh was to me.

When the guy here in my town from match.com who called me last week asked me what I was doing for the weekend I said I was riding my bike and then he asked me - oh - how many miles do you ride but then before I could really answer he said he can only ride 10 miles max. Guys my age who do not work out do not understand my love for it and it puts them off. I felt like I couldn't tell him I was going to ride 90 miles - after all I am training for an Ironman and that is an accomplishment I should feel proud of.

Right now my mindset is that I want the Ironman lifestyle and the 90 mile bike rides more than I want just any boyfriend. Of course I want the RIGHT boyfriend but that is elusive at this point. But I am looking - get out of the house doing stuff I love and am on match and EH.

As long as you understand and support your bf and are positive I think that is fine - he has plenty of guys to ride with. Even if you did ride you might not be compatible because he would be faster.

The guy I was riding with would likely never be a training partner - he is faster on the run and bike but slower on the swim.

It is more about going out the door at the same time and being able to share stories. And having a guy who is sweet and has a positive mind instead of one who is critical and paranoid and negative.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 8:55am

I have a co-worker who's husband was a widower a very short time when they married, but they are still married years later.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 9:25am
No joke and
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 10:13am
Uh, is there any way we could get the wife out of the picture?!?! LOL!
Steph