Online dating snapshots - share

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Online dating snapshots - share
9
Sat, 07-16-2005 - 7:42am

I wanted to show this to you - this one goes in the trash for a few reasons:

1) 43 and never been married - I have found that any guy over 40 who has never been married has something seriously wrong - there are just too many opportunities in a lifetime. Plus he is a salesman - just don't like that - especially all that coupled with online dating.
2) He has "sometimes lives at home" or "no" for the "have kids?" part on his profile
3) His initial intro to me (below) is all about him - no nice note about my profile - already assuming dinner and drinks on the first date - he shows disrespect and one objective (sex) in my opinion

But he is good looking and does make good money - if I was just starting I would have been tempted to pursue. Of course you can look up his profile

Judy

Date received: July 15, 2005
Subject: wow.....
hi there you hot, sexy ,skinny thing..... dinner and drinks on las olas

jj

43-year-old man
Fort Lauderdale, FL, US
Seeking
women 28-43
Active within 24 hours




Edited 7/16/2005 7:03 pm ET ET by cl-west1745
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2005
Sat, 07-16-2005 - 5:14pm
You might want to edit out the ID - I thought it was against TOS to actually identify someone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 3:59am
That makes me sick... what a creep. To me, that was so disrespectful. Yak.
Clem xx
Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 07-20-2005 - 9:23am

Ewwwwwwwwwww!GROESSSSSSS! ICK! PFUI! Blech, blech, blech!!! Hmmmmmmmmmmm, I don't like him either. LMAO.

Judy, I get these creeps all the time. What is it with these men???? The whole sexy, baby thing is such a turn off and YET,...they still do it!!!!

Also, the whole age thing and never having been married, is SUCH a red flag for me. I just don't even respond.

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 07-20-2005 - 9:47am

Ok.. Here is my list of the week.

1. Frog
2. Frog
3. Toad
4. The slime stuck on my shoe after stepping on a night snail
5. Frog
6. Potentiallllllll - Yup, one potential guy
7. Can't say what I think, it's too rude
8. Frog
9. Frog
10. My grandfather

Number 6:
Is 41, hides his profile from stalker women. LOL
Has his own very successful computer techi business. Great looking guy, but not some gorgeous young thing that I usually have on my arm. Looks solid and responsible, not so much the pretty boy that could be my son. LOL.
Works alot and doesn't have time to meet anyone. Has two kids ages 20 & 11, was married twice, but haven't got the complete scoop on it yet. First wife was high school sweetheart, the second was an affair that he admitted to having had, that went really bad. He seems sorry for the mistake and admits the stupidity behind it, but more I do not know. (Potential red flag with that)
Also a X military brat; so same sort of background. We also have the same similiar interests.
So far, so good. The emails are flowing back and forth. He lives 20-30 minutes from where I will be living. To toooo close, not tooooo far.
Has already invited me to dinner. I've accepted.

That makes my dating outlook, to when I get to N.C. look like this:
11 coffees (unchanged)(keeps fluctuating between new and dumped)
3 happy hour drinks (3 other potentials from the last few weeks)
1 dinner date (with Mr. Potential)
4 tour guides. (more on the friend side, then the potential date)

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 07-20-2005 - 9:51am
I meant to say, he married his affair. The affair got pregnant and he wanted to do the right thing and married her. Something to that effect. I'll update once I know more.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 07-20-2005 - 12:36pm

I don't know - but after 2 years of that aggravation - with 2 years off - I can't go back to any of it.

I have permanently deleted all online profiles and now it is Hello IRL (In Real Life) - I am going to look better and get out MORE.

And I have made a pact with myself to stay totally alone until Mr. Right at the Right Time comes along.

Stay tuned..........

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Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 3:48am

I realized your frustrated with it, but I wouldn't jump the gun. Don't give up, just take it all with a grain of salt. I just get on it when I feel like it, respond when I feel like it, but I have so many other things going on, that it's just something I do when I have a few minutes of nothing to do. I don't get depressed or take it serious as I once did. I used to get so MAD and SAD and just plain sick of it all, but now I just go with the flow. If I think I like a profile I respond, if I don't, I don't. I don'T owe anyone an explanation and I won'T. I figure, if they read my profile, that 95% of the men who try to chat me up, will realize, they are not my type and should NOT try to contact me. So why should I give them the nicey nice and give them a explanation. I stated what's my type, they aren't so they aren't LISTENING. lol.

I would keep on doing the online thing. It's not going to hurt. Just think: If something happens, it happens, if not, well, you aren't just relying on the internet. Right? You go out, you do your things, you fulfill your life already. The internet thing is just something you do, because it can'T hurt. You NEVER know. Again, both my cousins met their husbands on the internet. They swear by it. It COULD happen. I don't really believe it will for me this way, but I do it. Trying to stay open minded. lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 5:31am

Thanks for your encouragement. I do know of 2 people who have met their spouses online. And of course I will be listening to your stories and seeing how you do, Cat.

But for now I am OFFline. Just sick of it - could not trust it or go on any more blind dates. I think this will encourage me to be more social and get out of the house more. Having a home office is great in so many ways - but it does tend to "keep you in the house."

The best things in my life have evolved on their own - they just happened. And I just know that I will find the right SO for me this way, too. I think I have come to grips with being alone a little better and I feel that I know what it looks like when the right person comes along - he is into you and carrying half of his weight. I have always tried to do too much to make it happen and I don't want to go there again. No more "settlements" for me.

Right now I am just working on being all I can be - getting away with murder until I have someone to have to negotiate with ;-) - enjoying DS, seeing all the movies I want to see, going on the trips I want to take, doing stuff around my house and shopping.

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Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 7:49am
I don't have time to date and I am going to have way to much going on in Wilmington to think of dating. These guys also have no patience. 5 weeks isn't long to stay in contact with someone and find out if you want to see them or not. 95% of the guys aren't in contact with me anymore, because I live so far away at the moment. They want someone LOCAL. What if I was on vacation or on business? What is the BIG deal about waiting to meet in 5 or 6 weeks? None for me! I'm fine with it and it really helps define those who just want booty and those that are genuinely intersted and have patience. BTW: I like match better then yahoo. Yahoo Suc*s. I even have that better profile thing and it is just attracting wierdo's and jerks. The Match site has been MUCH better at directing professional men, than yahoo does. That attracts some really groess guys in my book. I am going to cancel the yahoo site today and try another one. Any one have any suggestions? I want to try them all out. LOL, but keep my Match account. Maybe harmoney? Any feedback on that one?