Only one week till she visits.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2001
Only one week till she visits.
17
Thu, 04-07-2005 - 11:39pm

I can hardly contain myself....

I've lost 10 lbs, can't eat, can barely sleep....glad I'm not working on pacemakers or nuclear bomb triggers...

The sitter is set up, the hotel is ready, all I have to do is not die of an heart attack and meet her at the airport....with flowers, of course.

This one is red roses all the way.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2005
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 4:56pm

Well, you know your own situation better than I do. And perhaps with the history that you share, roses may be the only appropriate way to greet P. Good luck.

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Mon, 04-11-2005 - 11:07am

All I can say is 'good luck'. You have lots of obstacles with this one.

1. She's still the divorce process. I dated while I was divorcing and it was a disaster. The relationship helped me get through the divorce. It was a nice distraction, but I dumped the guy because he wasn't right to me. When you are divorcing, you aren't thinking clearly.

2. It's a long distance thing. It might be fun to meet for a weekend, but how can you keep that up?

3. You're head-over-heels again. A little too eager.

If I were you, I'd look at this as a fun weekend to catch up with a girl from high school. You might think someone from your past is "safe", but you've dated and broken up with her twice in the past.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-11-2005 - 1:13pm
I agree with the post that said this could be a fun weekend, but if you're going to pick up where you left off 20 years ago...that's living in the past. Sounds like a good way to let yourself in for a lot of hurt.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Mon, 04-11-2005 - 3:10pm
I was kind of thinking this but didn't want to rain on your parade.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Mon, 04-11-2005 - 3:24pm
I know my post was harsh. I just really have a thing against getting involved with someone who is in the divorce process (because I made the mistake of trying to date before I got officially divorced...a whole heck of things change after the official divorce). And, also, long-distance relationships are not good in my opinion....especially now that we're older and our lives are more complicated. We need to cut down on the complications in our lives in order for a relationship to work. One area is convenience. If you live in the same town, you get see each other a lot.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Mon, 04-11-2005 - 3:47pm

I agree with your post to Brian - but I think dating while in the divorce process depends. I dated while separated and not a thing changed once my divorce was officially finalized. I think if your over your ex (I was before we even said the word divorce), if you have agreed on a property settlement, you've separated your lives, you've worked out custody and things are going smoothly, and there is not a lot of drama in your life, then dating before the divorce is final may work out just fine. I think that it's never a bad idea to wait until after the divorce either if that is what feels right, and it is easy to jump into dating before you are ready, and there are some people out there that might not be ready even a few years after the divorce is final, so in every case it just depends. The other points you had I agree with, including the long distance thing (but I also suspect that Brian and this girl have talked about how a long distance thing might work out, and it is possible that it will).

Brian: you do seem to give your heart so fast and I think that is something that can cause a relationship that has potential to fail, even if it is mutual. I hope in this case it doesn't.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Mon, 04-11-2005 - 3:59pm
First, you are right. If it's a friendly divorce and not a lot of legal drama, then yeah it's probably okay to date.

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