opinions plz
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opinions plz
| Wed, 02-09-2005 - 9:16am |
Well, you know me...always analyzing. LOL
I think I'm seeing how the hugging kissing thing builds up...Last night the kiss was closer to lips...I guess you just keep inching over and if there are no protests then you keep moving over

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It was funny...when he mentioned that in class, coming over to watch a movie, the pastor's wife said "and then you bring the pizza right?" She could see the writing on the wall.
I did mention him taking us out to eat. LOL
Ok, that sounds really mean, but I often get the same thing. "Can you cook?" "What are you making for dinner?" or "Some sex comment."
When I started dating my bf, we had our first date out at a restaurant, but the second date was at my house. This happened because I had my dd until in the evening and then I was packing to go out of town the next day, so he came over while I packed and to hang out. After I got back from my trip he may have come over one other time, but then I went to his house. I thought we would just hang out, and although I wanted to go out, I wasn't sure how to verbalize that without sounding pushy. Well after I got there he said, "Let's go eat" and that is how it went from then on. I'd go over (we live kind of far away and there were several reasons for me to go to his house vs him to mine) and then we'd go out to dinner and then a movie or go rent a movie. Of course there are times when we just hang out, but most of the time we do date.
I think you can avoid the "hanging out" syndrome if he wants (and can afford to) take you out. Keep up the hints about going out, it's good to send the message of what you expect. But ultimately if he wants more than to just hang out, you'll do more than just hang out.
It sounds to me like it is progressing nicely, Candi. I think you should go with the flow and enjoy - you are certainly keeping all of us on the edge of our seats.
He definitely seems interested in you and he is being respectful given the group setting which you have met and continue to socialize.
I think you have to let him take the lead. Do the hardest thing for all women.... NOTHING! Let it go at his pace.
I don't think it would go to the hang out at your house phase any time too soon. It is nice that he will drive you. And if his first date idea is to come to your house you can come up with an excuse of too busy that night - or house upside down - throw the ball back into his court so he asks you out on a date.
I just thought of one more thing to say. I think you should try to go slow and not spend too much time at any one setting. Build it slow over time.
This is because of the cultural differences. It is easy to get really infatuated with each other at the beginning but it would also be easy for one of you to be overwhelmed because of the cultural differences. So I think going slow would make it easier for you to get used to each other.
By going slow I mean not spending too much time in any one setting or seeing each other too many days per week. I also mean physically/secually, too.
I hope this helps or makes sense.
When we do spend time together, the pastor is in the room. Izzy isn't going to do anything with him there, he would worry about censure. LOL I love it. FINALLY I have a man on MY side.
For me, I think the infatuation has passed. I am looking at the more practical side of things and trying to see the man behind those amazing dark eyes. I know he wants someone who can cook, it's cultural. And I don't expect to eat out every night either. But we'll have to find a happy medium if this goes to a dating situation.
I think that Latin men love women in a more femine, traditional role. They want a woman who can cook and bring peace and harmony to a home. They also want a woman who excites them and keeps them on their toes. Who can set boundaries and be a catch. Who fixes herself up and takes good care of the kids.
The more I learn from my Latin friends, I see it is not as easy as it looks. Yes, they are more subservient in the house and yes the men are a bit lazy when it comes to housework and cooking. BUT the men adore their women and are very family oriented; they also work VERY hard for their families.
I think also that the men want someone who admires their mind and looks up to them. They don't want to feel inferior. I know you have a high IQ but if you want a Latin guy then you would be careful to use that to your advantage, not to put him down or make him feel inferior. You would always have to see and appreciate his good points and make him feel special. I hope this makes sense.
Latin women always look good - whether it is to clean the house or take the trash out. They spend more time getting ready to eat than they do eating. At first I scoffed at this but now I am having so much fun dressing up - and I always get compliments on how nice I look.
wow, why would I put any guy down that I was interested in? That seems kind of like a universal to me, not just cultural. And I have told Izzy how smart I know he is, and how well he does with his english. He's a wonderful guy and has ambition.
And any guy who treated me right would have me cooking for him most of the time. But I'm not going to be taking the trash out, doing all the laundry, and being domestic, AND working, AND going to a lot of trouble to look good. I've talked to the guys a lot about American women, and how we want an equal partner. If izzy didn't believe me I think he would have said so already. He likes my cooking and that's a good thing. But till we're a couple, I'm certainly not treating him like anything but "that wonderful guy who had better be damned good to me". I think izzy is smart enough to come here to discover new things, and how to be with an American woman might be one of them. I wouldn't trash his culture, but he couldn't trash mine either. IT's a challenge, and I love a challenge.
The adoring part would be great to have in a mutual way. I'd like that.
And if he bought me a dishwasher and hired someone to clean the house, we could be absolutely blissful.
It sounds like you are on the right track with him.
"And if he bought me a dishwasher and hired someone to clean the house, we could be absolutely blissful."
That is the TICKET!
Do you know any more about him - where is he from? What does he do? How long has he been here?
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