Our First Dinner/Date

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2008
Our First Dinner/Date
7
Thu, 03-20-2008 - 8:45am

I went out to dinner with my "repair guy" last night. We had a great time and talked about a lot of things. He even brought my son up and said I'm wondering how you plan to have relationships and involve your son. I said why are you wondering about that? He said I know what it's like to have a mother who dates guys and you

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 1:57am
I don't really have any answers for you, but I wanted to bump your post. I think it may have been overlooked.
Steph
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 9:09am

Welcome - and sorry it took so long to answer your post. Somehow it slipped to the second page before we could answer.

I like how you handled his questions about your child. And I like how honest he was with regards to his feelings of concern and wanting to accept your child. And it is good he was honest about what his friends and mom said and how he handled them.

With regards to his age - 21 is young these days. But I can think of a few 40 somethings that are not as mature as he has sounded so far.

I guess with the age in mind and the fact that he is a guy (LOL!) I would be sure he wants a relationship with you before you get intimate - unless you want to be confused and wondering whether you mean something or are a roll in the hay for the evening. That is what I would do.

Take your time to get to know him and date him and see if you like him and think that he has good qualities as a person. If he is settled in his life and stuff like that.

With regards to the kiss - maybe he was not sure of how he felt or maybe he really wants another date. You just have to wait and see - the ball is in his court - and really you do want a guy who wants to date you and who wants to ask you out - not someone who goes because you prod him.

And with regards to his friends - don't worry - if you two work out you will meet them in time and it won't matter what they think - just be kind and act like it doesn't matter. I am sure they had his best interest in mind. But you of course, will prove them wrong if given the chance!!

Keep us posted - hope this helps! Time is what will answer your questions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 9:11am
Steph - thanks for bumping this!! I hope everyone can chime in to welcome and help her. Who has experience with younger guys out there? Alison, where are ya? :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 9:51am

At 21 I am sure his friends are going to tell him to stay away from a single mom--I think that is pretty typical BUT if he grew up in a single parent household and HE is ready for this type of relationship then he won't listen.

April

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2008
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 6:13pm

He did call me the next day (yesterday) and

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 8:41pm
Glad to hear you went to meet his mom and friends, in spite of the obvious reasons to bow out of such a situation. That is a lot for just having met the guy. Take things slow. Your son can meet this guy after a month or two if things are going well. If you just casually introduce him as Mommy's friend there is no harm done should things not work out 6 months later. His friends were just being typical 20-something guys. To them, a single mom won't have enough time to devout to them, and there are plenty of single kidless women available. It isn't until men get to about 30 that they see the value in the right woman, not just any woman. It sounds like your 21-year old is more mature than his peers. He is interested in you, and he already knows the issues regarding your having a child far more intimately than most guys. Take it slow. You BOTH are still very young.
QueenBun
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 11:44pm
That sounds like a good start. I like that he has to wait for us kiss. And it sounds like you handled the whole kid thing very well. We are in a special club with a great privelege - no need to feel bad or apologize!! A lot of people pay a lot of money and can't get pregnant. So always think and feel and respond how lucky you are!