Overwhelmed ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Overwhelmed ...
17
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 9:26pm

X's mother is dying - & its all come on pretty suddenly. She's in FLA for the winter, so i cant even get dd to see her. I am really close to her - she's been like a 2nd mom to me since my mom died, & she calls me her daughter. She has ALWAYS stood behind me 100% with the issues with her son, & she appreciates what kind of mom I am. & she is a good Gramma to dd.

Photobucket

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: rlch
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 8:26am

I know you see she is upset - but I think you have to talk to the psych to see what he thinks. Reality = you cannot make him be nice just for her bday - you have no control over him. IN time she will get used to it - in a way I think the longer she goes without seeing him the easier it gets. I would be more worried that she is upset for not seeing him for so long and then he does something stupid and upsets everyone adding to that injury because you know he has that in him. He is not well and what is worse is that he is getting much worse as time goes on and is not doing anything to admit it much less get better.

You have no choice except to keep everything at home at bay and keep dodging his bullets. I think you should validate her feelings that she misses him and say everyone is doing everything they can and take her to do something fun and don't dwell on it.

He is really sick, Rebeccah and he has it in him to do something really bad. You must never ignore the danger - not even for a birthday.

My sister says, "don't ever start something you don't want to keep doing." If you give him slack for her birthday he is going to keep wanting slack.

No slack, no mercy, no regrets.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: rlch
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 8:28am
I hate to sound cold, but if I was you there is no way I would attend that funeral. It would come at too great of a price for so many reasons. But that is just me and a thought.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
In reply to: rlch
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 10:41am

The purpose of a funeral is to say god bye, to get closure, right?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
In reply to: rlch
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 12:02pm

Rebecca - I am so sorry that you have to deal with all of this right now.


I agree with Soonee - I know you have a good relationship with Taz's sister. If, God forbid, you did lose MIL, I am sure she could help make arrangements for you and Averey to say your final goodbyes at the funeral home without Taz present.

Rosecolouredspecs
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
In reply to: rlch
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 12:04pm

I am so sorry to hear about this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
In reply to: rlch
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 1:00pm

(((HUGS)))

April

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
In reply to: rlch
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 2:50pm

Vent all you want we don't mind. You have been doing a fantastic job so far and I am positive you will continue to do so.

(((((MANY HUGS & HERSHEY KISSES TO YOU AND AVE))))))))

Pages