Party, Should I Go....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Party, Should I Go....
6
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 4:27pm

Hi All,

Not sure why I'm feeling nervous about a work party... my old policy/attitude would say go to ALL parties... but this one makes me nervous...

Why??? Well, for one it is a work party. I'm nervous about what reputation I will get... "she's the quiet one" or "she was a life of the party" or "she's the wanna fit in type".... At least when I go out with the girls, I don't care what people think of me. They are strangers. Secondly, I'm nervous about "flirting" with coworkers... ya know, you have to work with them after the party... I don't HAVE to flirt or I could flirt for fun like I normally do...

But I've had crushes on coworkers before and wouldn't want to look stupid.... I don't want to develop new crushes... I just want to be myself...

And like I've posted lately, I haven't been at the top of my game in the flirting/dating arena. But 6 months ago I was dying to go to ANY party and they all got cancelled for one reason or another.

Any thoughts? What's a good attitude to take with me... Of course, be myself and have fun. And not worry about what anyone else thinks, right? I'll have to secure the baby sitter, if I decide to go.... But why wouldn't I go, right...

Like I said, not sure why the thought of this party makes me nervous....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 4:31pm

Look at the party as a way to get out for adult conversation and networking. PRACTICE getting dressed up and developing good social skills. Challenge yourself to talk to as many people as you can and to smile and circulate.

It would be good for you, I think. Plus we get a story afterwards - and we all love stories and details.

I would go if I was you!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Wed, 01-10-2007 - 8:56pm

Loony, I know what you mean. Every year, my boss throws a Christmas party at his house, and every year I get very nervous about it.
The flirting thing isn't an issue, since the only people there are with their spouses- I'm the only single person invited. But maybe that's a part of it- I'm the odd man out, the youngest with the company, and everyone else has been there forever- except the boss.
But I go. And it's always fine. I act like my self- but my work self. However I act at work is the way I behave at this party. It's not technically a work function, but I do have to see these people every day. This sin't the time to try out my newest dance moves or belt out show tunes, it's the time to behave professionally and with decorum.
So, yes I still act like myself, but not my dating self, my mother self or my hanging with the girls self. I act like my work self- which is pretty much all those people know of me, and that's okay with me.
Hope I've helped in some way, I'm sure everyone else will chime in, too!

Moody, party-less, and okay with that


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Thu, 01-11-2007 - 12:56pm

Thanks for the encouragement.... I secured my mom to babysit Saturday night. She's actually excited for me since the person hosting the party is single.

I will read up on my books that help me keep a good attitude and take pressure off of myself. I'll try to remember this is time for me and should be stress free.... that my overall goal is more about being open and enjoying myself. And practice for social settings. (Although in the back of my mind, I hoping to get invited to the next party). I think I might try a spinach dip recipe or something, since I've been cooking more....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 1:03pm

Hi Loony

I can't stress enough that your style when attending a work party (an official work function or a party involving people from work) should reflect who you are at work.

It shouldn't be about flirting, but about networking and being professional. You'll have to see these people at work the next day! Even be careful about what you wear!

Don't drink to much! Have one drink, and then have water or a soda in hand.

You can have fun, but don't forget it's about work, not partying!!

I don't mean to be a downer, but you have to think of yourself (supporting yourself $$) first!

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 3:55pm
Good advice, Laura!! That is what I used to do in the corporate world. It is good to mingle and network. And the bosses like to see you participate for sure.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 4:24pm

I agree with Laura completely. If the person hosting the party is single and also works for your company, I would not make any moves. I would act exactly the same way that I act at work.

I dislike office parties because it is like being at work, only there is the added pressure of making more small talk than you normally have to make.

I think all you have to do to get invited to the next party is bring the spinach dip, smile, be professional, and stay out of trouble ;)