Passion vs. pacing

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2007
Passion vs. pacing
7
Thu, 08-09-2007 - 9:01pm

I love the opinions I read here so I'm going to ask for general thoughts and experiences.

So I've been seeing Mr. Nice Eyes for a few months and we just had the "exclusive" talk. We've been taking the physical side of our relationship slowly. I've been the one setting the pace. I don't want to rush anything but at the same time, there is a strong attraction and I'm ready to act on it a bit more. On the one hand, I don't want to ruin a good thing. On the other hand, isn't one of the best parts of dating (we've got the friendship/companionship thing going well) the passionate fooling around part? I'm ready to explore that side more.

When do you trust your instincts and go for it and when do you second guess those instincts and hold back? This was soooo much easier before the 13 year break! LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 08-09-2007 - 9:46pm
I think that once I have exclusivity and a certain sense of "this is going to work" then the passion is more enjoyable. And it sounds like you have a lot of that - trust your own gut and enjoy the process! This has to be YOUR decision and what YOU feel comfortable with. There are as many opinions on "when" as there are stars in the sky.
Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Fri, 08-10-2007 - 10:07am

You will just KNOW. It could be that you are doing the weirdest thing when it suddenly comes over you to get a little out of the blue passionate. He is probably waiting for your lead. So you may have to take the bull by the horns.

You would be a perfect candidate taking the challenge on the board. Read it, sign up and get back to us on Monday...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Sat, 08-11-2007 - 8:52am

I typically always trust my instincts. Not to be confused with trusting my libido, which has also happened.

There's a huge difference in passion simply for the sake of it (which is okay if that's all it is and everyone knows it) and passion because there's interest, romance, friendship, etc.

It seems to me that at this point, you're both exclusive, and it would be completely fine to kick it up a notch. YOU have been setting the pace, and you can continue to do so. He seems great about letting you, which is wonderful, and will make it clear to him that this is something you want, when it does happen.

Good luck, and keep us posted

Moody, with more catching up to do


Powered by CGISpy.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 12:32pm

I read something that makes a lot of sense to me: The foundation of relationships are built on four pillars: Emotional, Intellectual, Spiritual (more than

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2007
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 4:59pm
You are indeed a wise woman. Thanks for sharing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 8:43pm

Huh--nee, I just look good on paper.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2007
Sun, 08-12-2007 - 10:32pm
Hi,
I would say go for it if he cares about you as much you care about him. I would talk honestly with him about my feelings and tell him you only want becoming intimate to bring you two closer and not apart. I experienced a similiar situation once with a guy I felt very deeply for ( and I still do). I wanted to go to the next level, but he was honest and told me he was not ready for a serious relationship and he knew I was, so we decided to keep it as friends, but at least he was an honest. But if you and your fellow feel the same for each other, go for it. There is nothing like being on the same page.