At peace and ready...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
At peace and ready...
15
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 11:20am

Sooo the Prince has been away for work for about 1 week now and he may not get back until the end of this week or early next week. And as many of you suggested I took the time for some reflection and heres what ive come to realize...


I have not allowed myself to let him in because i have been so consumed with hate for CP not out of hurt but really for my pride. I keep saying how the whore pushed me out of my own home and

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 11:40am

I was consumed with not having the 'butterflies' like when you first start dating but i realized i dont need those because i have had those with him. And the butterflies are replaced with a full heart.


What a wonderful revelation!

April

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 11:52am

How great to gain that honest perspective of yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 11:53am
Thanks April, it does feel really good to start letting go and move on. A huge weight really, I cannot foresee me being able to sit with them at any point in my life but things change and DD will grow and most likely need or wnat him to be part of her life. For now the Prince is filling in and shes loving every minute of it. They play and laugh and she lays on him to watch her movies occasionally but i know hes not daddy. But daddy will not play a role in her life while being an abusive jacka$$ to me in front of her and until he realizes his time with her must be supervised until he can prove otherwise. But again letting the love of the prince in feels really good VERY SCARY but good and will allow him to comfort me when needed and know its not a sign of weakness but a sign of a healthy relationship and a healthy family.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 12:01pm

Thanks Moon....we had a very long discussion this weekend...umm

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 12:02pm

It's good that your DD can have the positive male relationship

April

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 1:42pm

I admire what you are doing for yourself.


>>Its time for me to let go of it all and let myself let love back in. ... And the butterflies are replaced with a full heart. ... im happy, at peace and ready to move forward...<<


What a wonderful place to be!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 2:02pm

It must have been the weekend for ephipany's.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 2:14pm

Hi Mark,


The trick is to find out how to get back to that place whenever life knocks us out of that place.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 2:20pm
You know B youre right about it being freeing...but dont get me wrong I fully know that im sure to get Pi$$ed off now and again with CP and my road with him is a long one I just don't plan on allowing him to be a thorn in my heart anymore...more like a splinter in my big toe (ok so i was going to say more like a pimple on my a$$ but i dont even want to think of him anywhere near that region....LOL)
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 05-05-2008 - 2:27pm

Thanks M for wishing me my butterfly.

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