Perfect example of my X's immaturity ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Perfect example of my X's immaturity ...
24
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 10:33pm

Since we were talking about the issues in the thread yesterday ... I emialed today after picking dd up from his house this morning.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 10:54pm

Dang R- he is still quite the a$$hat, isn't he?!?? Some things just will never change. :-P


I wish you didn't have to deal with him and all of that. It seems like every time you've tried to send him a message about something that you BOTH need to work on, he takes it as you just attacking him and then getting all mad and defensive and crazy! Does he just NOT see that you are saying this stuff with Ave is something you BOTH have to keep an eye on?!?? Geez!


It's pretty obvious who is thinking here, and who is just plain reactive. (((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))


~shrimpy

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2004
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 10:54pm

Aww, I feel so bad for your daughter, its amazing what some fathers (or mothers in other cases I guess) will put their children through, {{HUGE HUGS}} for you and your daughter, hope he finds a place soon and continues to take her.

My ex thankfully hasnt been bad lately, but I have had my share of problems with him too. We both are dating, and the kids like his girlfriend, and they like my boyfriend, however..the thought of knowing they are around her..upsets me alot :(



if you notice my siggy changes often..its because I have a rotator! youre not going crazy ;) lol
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 11:55pm

Such a heartbreaking experience when your child is going thru pain with the ex. HUGGGGS sweetie. I can relate on how no matter how we try to clearly communicate without blame, the receiver just hears it his/her own one way. So frustrating isn't it?

Is your daughter getting counseling? I know that no matter what we say it's how the world the child constructs and therefore perceives it to be. In other words, talking alone won't cut it to help the child fully. I don't have the answers but that's my opinion.

With that said, I really admire you for all your conscientious effort and awareness you have on the impact and effect on your child with relationships - both yours and your ex's.

Take care,
Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 12:22am

Thanks for your kind words Mark. Yes, she is in counseling off & on, at the DV center - who work specifically with kids with dads like this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 8:14am

I really liked your email.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2001
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 8:19am

You know, I used to email my ex stuff about what the kids said, giving him a forewarning that he's losing them and their respect. Trying to help him be a better father....but I quit because it all kept being thrown back at me.


I know you mean well with your email(s) to your ex, but he's abusive and always has been -to you and to your daughter. Document things in your book but dont email him any "helpful hints" anymore because it only gets put back on you.


You cant force someone to be a better father. Ive been there, done that. You can only be the better parent to your child to try to make up for what they are lacking. Do you have Big brothers/big sisters in your area? You might want to consider signing her up for a big sister there. They do wonderful things for the kids......


Good luck


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 8:41am

I agree. It always gets twisted. But once & a while, if dd really needs him to "know" something - i cant just leave it up to her to communicate with him. B/c then SHE gets the brunt. I would rather make the attempt, & ignore his twisted responses. At least then I, & my dd, know we "tried".

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 8:43am

Thanks Moody - & yes, i bet MY X can make ANY-one see the benefits of absentee dads!

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Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 8:44am

You, my dear, are SMOKING HOT in that new pic! I HAVE to get back to the gym!!!


& you crack me up, I forgot about your **sshat, name. LOVE IT!

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Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 8:45am

(((hugs))) about hte kids being around his gf. But is she a decent person?

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