pity party for me.....
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pity party for me.....
| Wed, 05-31-2006 - 1:52pm |
I get so frustrated with the turns of life. I just can't seem to catch a break. My ex husband has re-married (to the woman he had an affair with when we were still together). They have a daughter together and are expecting another one in the Fall. They see themselves, my daughter with my ex included as this happy little family. He gets to be the one living the happily ever after and I am the one stuck alone. Yes I have my daughter - but what about my dreams of "happily ever after". I tried - but just got my heart broken again and now feel like I have egg on my face with my ex husband. I don't want to take the pity party route but come on - when is something going to work out for me. I have no job (lost it a few months ago)& struggle to meet ends meet. My ex husband is living the high life so much his new wife dosn't even work. Yes he pays generous child support - but I still struggle. I have tried for several years to be the strong one & to just keep trucking along. My daughter will be spending a lot of time with her father this summer - I am alone again. I have tried to get out & meet people & frankly that just makes me feel like a loser.
I just don't feel like I have the energy anymore. What is the point - I am doomed to be single and I despise it. The man I just broke up with seemed like the answer to everything and yet he turned out to be anything but. My ex husband put me through several years of torment when our daughter was little and I never really had the "family" experience. It just makes me angry. I took a week vacation this winter - first time I was seperated from my daughter and I went with my now ex boyfriend away down south. My daughter was really angry that I went and ever since she has wanted to be with her father & his family more. I just feel like I have made so many mistakes and that there will be no light at the end of the tunnel.
I just don't feel like I have the energy anymore. What is the point - I am doomed to be single and I despise it. The man I just broke up with seemed like the answer to everything and yet he turned out to be anything but. My ex husband put me through several years of torment when our daughter was little and I never really had the "family" experience. It just makes me angry. I took a week vacation this winter - first time I was seperated from my daughter and I went with my now ex boyfriend away down south. My daughter was really angry that I went and ever since she has wanted to be with her father & his family more. I just feel like I have made so many mistakes and that there will be no light at the end of the tunnel.

First of all welcome to the board! Second of all, as far as your ex husband is concerned, I have always believed what they will do WITH you, they will do TO you. In other words, odds are very slim that their marriage will work out. I read somewhere that marriages between two people that were unfaithful only had about a 5% chance of lasting.
Being a single parent is tough. Especially when you are struggling financially and your ex SEEMS to have it all. You can't hinge your happiness on finding someone. You have to be happy with yourself first.
I am a big advocate of counseling. I have done it and so have both of my kids. Sometimes we need that professional guidance to help get our lives on track. It sounds like you have been through quite a few stressful life events and that can take it's toll on ANYBODY!
I hope you stick around. There are some very smart and supportive ladies on this board.
Stephanie
I totally agree with Stephanie....you have to love your self and be happy with yourself before you can love and be happy with someone else....
I say join a bowling league (not necessarilary bowling...but you know) to meet people and give you a night to go out and have fun....I'm on one on Friday nights (a mixed league - men and women) and I bring my son with me (he's almost 2) we have a great time....
Good luck, and like I said before, we are always here for you!
We've all had those days. The trouble is, you want to keep them from becoming thinse weeks, those months, those years. If what you want is a happy life, you have to be a happy person.
Easier said than done, sometimes, I know, but sometimes, the best thing to do it just, well, fake it. When I'm really feeling blue and crummy for no specific reason, but a million little reasons- like my ex bought my son a mini bike and I can't afford to buy him a hot wheel because I'm too busy thinking about being able to feed the kid, I fake happiness.
Pretty soon, I'm actually not faking the smile anymore, it's genuine. Then, other people are smiling with me, and we're suddenly laughing, and I'm actually having a good time. Suddenly, I'm surrounded by people whose company I'm enjoying, and wouldn't you know, they're enjoying mine, too... it's a vicious cycle of happiness.
But unhappiness works the same way. If I go around all moody and grumpy and sour, everyone around me notices, and no one really wants to be around me. Happiness and unhappiness, either way you spin it, start with ourselves. We can not be happy with someone until we are happy with ourselves.
I've so been where you are. And some days, I have to consciously think about being happy. But the more you do it, the happier you honestly are. Honestly.
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