PLEASE HELP

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2004
PLEASE HELP
4
Mon, 12-27-2004 - 4:51pm
Me and my friend are having a disagreement and I need your help. My friend went to the doctor today and found out that she has a STD. She is not sure how she should tell him that she got the STD from him. I say call him and cuss him out and tell him not to call her anymore. What do you think?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
In reply to: prrygirl
Mon, 12-27-2004 - 4:55pm
It is very likely that he doesn't know he has the STD, and that he got it long before he met her. What STD is it? How long has your friend been seeing him? Is it curable? I don't know that cussing anyone out helps the situation. Sometimes the best way to cope with something like this is to go through it with someone... unless he cheated on her or didn't tell her about it but knew about it himself. If it was not due to cheating or hiding the fact he had an STD, I'd go see him and just tell him upfront and make sure he goes and gets tested and treated. Then she can can decide if she wants to continue the relationship.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2002
In reply to: prrygirl
Mon, 12-27-2004 - 5:02pm

She is not sure how she should tell him that she got the STD from him. I say call him and cuss him out and tell him not to call her anymore. What do you think?

She and "him", whoever he is, should have both been responsible to use protection.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
In reply to: prrygirl
Mon, 12-27-2004 - 5:51pm
Would good would come of calling to cuss him out? It might make your friend feel better for the moment, but in the long run it's not going to help anything. It's very likely that he doesn't even know he has an STD. She absolutely needs to tell him. Your friend would have been wise to insist on the use of a condom. Maybe this will be a wakeup call for her.
Good luck to her!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
In reply to: prrygirl
Mon, 12-27-2004 - 9:21pm

As mad as YOU are at him, she has to deal with things in a mature fashion. The likelyhood that this guy knew he had something is not high, since women often show signs of infection whereas men don't. She needs to sit him down and tell him that she has been diagnosed with ___ infection and for him to see his doctor right away for treatment. There is no point to blame him, how certain are YOU that HE'S the one who gave it to HER??? Sometimes it can take a while for the infection to manifest and if she's had other partners in her life, it could be from any of them.

Now that this has happened, you should encourage her to be more vigilant with protection.

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