Please help this pathetic tomboy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Please help this pathetic tomboy
23
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 5:11pm

I have wondered why guys dont find me attractive. But I think I now know why. I am decent looking, in great shape and well kept but there is nothing feminine about me at all! Its pathetic. When I go out to run errands I usually throw on some running pants, one of my many race t shirts and a pair of sneakers. To work I wear a pair of nice jeans or cords with a matching polo shirt. To go out on a date I will throw on a blouse and leather jacket but still nothing feminine about me at all. I have one pair of little dot earings and no other jewelry. I even wear a worn out iron man watch. I even have a short boyish hair cut.


I even have a boyish personality. My hobbies are home maintenance, old cars and aviation. I run a lot and I am into martial arts and repair computers on the side. Jeez I am pathetic.


I need help. My kids want to put me on What Not to Wear.


Please help. I want to be attractive, especially to Religious Guy but I also want to be who I am.


Any ideas?


Laurie

anonymous

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 6:53pm

"My kids want to put me on What Not to Wear" LOL Oh that is funny.

You don't have to sell your soul to the femininity god to appear somewhat more feminine when you really want to. I remake myself at least every two years, change my glasses, change my hair a bit, buy some new clothes. I usually end up back to hair in a messy ponytail, no makeup, t-shirt and jeans most of the time.

Since you are very active, the short hair fits your life, so go with it. But maybe not severely short. And how about a skirt once in a while to show off the runner's legs. Get some dangly earrings, don't have to be expensive, just fun. Little changes, not even all at once, just to feel a little different about yourself. Because it really does start there, how you imagine yourself to be.

Pick up a fashion magazine once in a while, see if there's a look that you like that bridges the tomboy/ girly girl gap that you could see yourself wearing.

See what the others say and have fun re-inventing yourself.

QB

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 7:29pm

That was funny.


The other funny was my reaction to your skirt suggestion. Dont get me wrong it was a good suggestion. But I dont even own a skirt or a dress. Thats how pathetic I am. I think the last time I wore one was over 6 years ago when I went to church. If a wore a skirt to work the guys I work with would fall off thier chairs. LOL.


And I think the guys at work have a lot to do with the way I am. I work with all men. I am in a 75% white male field and spent a long time in the navy. I just told a friend of mine that Denver is one of two cities that have 8 pro sports teams and thats a good reason to move there. How pathetic is that?!


But the sad thing is when I get asked out it always to something like hiking, cycling, swimming, walking through the park. Never to anything that I can dress up for or feel like a woman for.


So Tuesday I go shopping. Maybe not for a skirt...baby steps. lol. But for another ear piercing and some earrings and maybe a stylish watch.


Thanks,


Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 7:36pm

Want to look feminine? Skirt, danglers, bit makeup (atleast a nice lipstick), oh oh please get a dress- just for me.. Summer si here- why wont you get a nice summery dress a cotton one with flowers- just see how you make heads turn and of course a nice sandals - no need of high heels -just something pretty.


I think I am super feminine and my BF loves that, but sometimes he gets me shorts and stuff like that since he is into exercise and loves me to go out with him.


It is difficult to make sudden change in your overall style- make it gradual..One thing at a time..or start in when there is a party next time, or a date with religious guy. Make it sound like you do dress up occasionally..


Let me know what happened. and post a pic of the dress.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 7:41pm
DUDE!!!!!!
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 8:50pm

**Waving my hand for the tomboy club**


I hear ya, tsunami! I'm the same way- most of the time. I love my sweats and warm-ups and jeans in the winter, and I love athletic/sports wear in the summer. But I've learned that men DO like some frilly now and then too. I might just be a TOUCH of femininity (now, that looks spelled wrong- lol)- like a t-shirt with an embroidered edge. Or a knit top (that wears just like a nice t-shirt) but with a more girly print or color. You don't HAVE to go diving off into the deep end of dresses and heels and hose!!! Especially when it's just not who you are!


I agree with adding some different earrings. Or other types of jewelry. Small steps- not towards a complete makeover... but just small steps that add a bit of "girly" to the you that you already are. There's no need to head for the panty hose if that's not who you are, or what you'd be comfortable in!


Today I had a date with my Hiker, and I wore a sleeveless sweater top and a mid-length skirt. He wore a t-shirt and shorts. LOL- for once we looked a bit mismatched but I think he liked it. It's not my usual wear... and there was no occasion to dress up, but I just felt like wearing something a bit more girly today, so I did. But the next time he sees me? Probably will be in my usual shorts and shirt again. ;-)


The man who is right for you, will like you for WHO you are- even if it's not frilly. But I do think a little frill here and there- might help the men around you to stop seeing you as just one of the guys.


You mentioned the clothes and hobbies/interests... but didn't mention make up. Do you wear any make-up on a regular basis, or do you go without?


~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 9:03pm

Those are great ideas. And I also believe that I want to be who I am and be comfortable but I think guys like a bit of femininity now and then. I mean what guy wants to date one of the guys?


Yes I wear makeup but its more for coverup and not noticible. Some people have actually mentioned that they didnt think I wear any. No eye stuff and sometimes a little lip gloss. God I could use a makeover too. I would go on What NOt to Wear just to see what my possibilities are.


But I have a girly girl daughter (out of 3 girls one of them is girly) who would be glad to make me over. I would just have to remind her that I am not 12 anymore and cant dress like one. It would be

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 10:20pm

You know Laurie, short hair doesn't always have to look boyish- one of my good friends has short hair with longer bangs... and she usually throws a flower in her hair, pulling back one side= and it looks SUPER feminine on her!


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Sun, 06-01-2008 - 10:30pm

I saw a commercial about God knows what but anyhow it had models in it and there was an older, gray haired, model with boyishly short hair and I thought she was the best looking of the bunch.

My kids watch this show I think its called America's Next Top Model. During one season there was a young model with boyishly short hair and I also thought she was the prettiest of them all.

I admire Jamie Lee Curtis more than Angelina Jolie.

Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2007
Mon, 06-02-2008 - 12:52am

On the short hair topic. Thats VERY hard to pull off. I certainly couldn't do it. You'd have to have some kick ass facial structure. I know I can't do it, no matter how many times I compare myself to Halle Berry...yeah that never works out well either...


As for being more feminine. Learn how to put on makeup and then do that. It's one thing to be a tomboy and act like a guy, it's another to look great while feeling like one of the guys.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Mon, 06-02-2008 - 2:34am
I DO CARE! WHICH IS WHY I POSTED THIS IS THE FIRST PLACE.
anonymous

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