The Pro/Con list of staying with RG

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
The Pro/Con list of staying with RG
16
Tue, 07-08-2008 - 7:54am

pros

he is respectful
he is kind
fun to be around
likes to cuddle
financially secure
confident
wants to do a long term project with me
attractive
good body shape
talented and skilled

cons

its a roller coaster ride
doesnt get into deep conversation
intimacy issues
doesnt want a full time relationship
guarded
not active enough
mysterious
keeps me at arms length
does not interested in similar activities
shows limited interest in me
rarely responds to emails
sometimes hard to contact
the whole relationship is just plain confusing

Well there ya have it. Some of those are minor things. The major things are the roller coaster ride, the intimacy issues and not active enough/not interested in similar activities, keeps me at arms length and guarded. The major ones on the pros list is he is financially secure ( I have been with the opposite and its not a good place to be), and wants to do a long term project with me.

I thought that being patient with his car project would have a bit of a payoff, like I would get to ride in it or go to the cruise night with him. Then we were talking about it on the beach and he said that it was too expensive of a project to drive it anywhere. All he is going to do is park it in the garage, pull it out to admire it every now and then and pull it back in the garage. To me that is just weird. If I spent that much $ on something I would damn sure enjoy it and show it off.

Laurie

anonymous

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Tue, 07-08-2008 - 12:48pm

Another good list to make is


how do you feel with him?


i dont' stay with a guy who doesn't build me up. who doesn't make me feel good about who i am and where i am going... if

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Tue, 07-08-2008 - 12:49pm

I am not sure if I ever gave the full history but here is a synopsis of how things progressed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 07-08-2008 - 1:29pm

he is respectful but rarely responds to emails
he is kind but keeps me at arms length
fun to be around but doesnt get into deep conversation
likes to cuddle but intimacy issues
financially secure but mysterious
confident but guarded
wants to do a long term project with me but is not interested in similar activities
attractive but shows limited interest in me
good body shape but not active enough
talented and skilled
its a roller coaster ride
doesnt want a full time relationship
sometimes hard to contact
the whole relationship is just plain confusing


Hmmm... doesn't sound like any pros there to me.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Tue, 07-08-2008 - 1:29pm

Thanks for taking the time to write all that. I definitely see similarities in yours and mine. Is he planning on helping you raise the baby?


I think these guys want to take take take

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Tue, 07-08-2008 - 2:52pm

When I bring up our relationship he only reply is 'lets keep going like we are and see where it goes'. Which is fine but I have strong feelings that I am the one wanting to move forward while he is happy with his girlfriend on a string.


I think that alone says a lot, Laurie. I find that same aspect in a lot of my friends relationships. They are ready to mive forward, but their men are very happy as things are. It probably comes down to the committment issues a lot of them have. It IS fine, for them. I guess that I would respnd by telling him you love "how you guyd are" now also but that you want something more exclusive and committed and into the relationship moving forward 100 percent, at least feeling that you are on your way there. Its easy for guys to say "I like things the way they are" and forget that we (sometimes) need more committment from them.

~Pacific~
~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 07-08-2008 - 3:08pm

"When I bring up our relationship he only reply is 'lets keep going like we are and see where it goes'. Which is fine but I have strong feelings that I am the one wanting to move forward while he is happy with his girlfriend on a string."


But it's NOT going to go anywhere, and it's NOT fine!


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